This is the lovely, WAFFY "Meet Me in Kansas City" by Chris Mulder.
I got it right away with the second clue but haven't had a chance to find another quote until now. It's funny - with practically every story I read in this fandom, I encounter bits that make me laugh, sigh, or turn green with writer's envy, but when I go to think of an actual quote...*poof* they all fall out of my head.
Anyway, this is a bit that's always tickled me. I'm a sucker for an omnicient Perry White.
Perry wagged his finger gently from side to side. "Don't ask. When you have as much experience under your belt as I do mine, you'll realize that you just know things that other people don't want you to know, and you know when to use them and you know when to keep your peace. Now, I want you to get all the experience you can get because you're a good reporter and I'm making you a better one. I want you to out Murrow Murrow. And if I can help you get that experience by signing a waiver for you, I'll do it. But news of this does not go beyond these walls."
"No, sir..."
"Or everyone else will want one, too."
"Yes, sir."
"And you'll have to start wearing saffron robes and shave your head."
"That's a possibility I hadn't though of..."
"You didn't have time to think of it, I understand that. Everyone's taken by surprise now and then."
Mostly now, Clark thought. "Yes, sir."
"Of course, if I do find out that you're flying around high on drugs, I'll tan your little blue hide and hang it on that wall over there."
