Geez, finally found some time to type on this laptop. So much for figuring out the dozen passwords that that rat protects his computer with! Not that "power", "corruption", or "elena" are very hard to figure out, but that pig is too sure of himself for his own good.
Anyway, just back from a little chit-chat with Lexie-boy on that cool software that you found, Clark. It gave me the pleasure of announcing to him what I had done: Lex is now in the bathroom, and will stay there for quite some time, thanks to a generous dose of senna that I surreptitiously poured into his expensive Chianti. His running out of the room and into the bathroom was quite a sight, believe me!
So I'm in his office now, typing on his beloved laptop. The fool had set another lock on his door - and believe it or not, took the time to bolt it before he made it to the restroom - but since when do locks stop me?
The trick was to stop laughing while I picked it with one of Lois's hairpins; a hairpin that she doesn't need any more, I'm afraid...
Clark, you have to do something now, though. You've been waiting far too long, my friend, and I'm afraid it will be quite a shock for you when you see Lois. She's... different now. She looks very different. Her hair was short until today, and it looked kinda cool, I have to say. But Lex was a bit mad with her use of his computer, so he shaved her head in an excess of fury.
Okay, I'd better log off. I just heard him flush the toilet so I assume he'll be back and furious in a sec. Wonder how I'll get myself out of that one. Calming him down might take a lot. Maybe I ought to call Nigel and schedule some... private rendez-vous between the two of them. Yep, that's probably the only way.
Catch ya later!
Jack
ps: I've always meant to ask, Clark, and even though now probably isn't the best time for that, do you by any chance own red underwear?
