I must impress upon you once again the falseness of this fiendish scheme that Superman and this crude imitator of my Lois have cooked up between them. Rest assured that I do not leave my love on her own for prolonged periods of time, and when certain... business... has to be conducted above ground, a mutual friend of ours happily agrees to keep her company, with a large and scary-looking gun in case one of the rats turn vicious. So there is no possibility that she would be able to have some time at my laptop - even if she did manage to somehow bribe or incapacitate the guard, my laptop is encrypted with a multitude of enigmatic passwords and combinations, so she would not be able to access either the Internet or my own personal files without knowing them - which she does not. In any case, my man would have told me if she had been fiddling with anything - he is very reliable, a guy I picked up on the street - short, brown hair, boyish features, yet very mean when he has a big heavy gun in his hands. His name is Jack - just Jack.
Has the alien influenced you to the point where you would believe that I could be stupid? I wouldn't leave my precious laptop within three feet of Lois - the probabilities of her somehow dropping it, spilling a drink on it or submerging it in water are just two high. Look what happened to her own laptop - currently taking residence with the empty bottles and dead bodies down at the bottom of Hobb's bay.
Dear Ms. Impostor: No wonder your post is so jumbled and confused. You've obviously got a split personality.
1. There is no such thing as a cellar underneath a train station. A cellar is a basement under a house or block of houses. Please do stick to bunker. It's better English.
2. I have no intention of killing Superman. What I do want is to find the Kryptonite and use it against him to a point where he is simply incapacitated. Then I can bound him over for trial and hopefully, conviction. The state of New Troy has capital punishment - I shall let the Law take over and do what is fit.
3. 10:37? My dear, you are clearly confused. a) My love cannot tell what time of the day or night it is, it not being very sunny down in a bunker b) As I have stated previously, I would not leave my love alone for such a long period of time. Jack keeps her company.
4. Ahem. Even if that thing about my security code were true... you've only listed four of the alleged six needed. I suppose those blackouts can wreak havoc on your memory, huh?
I think we've pretty much verified that it's clearly not my own Lois who is writing this. I am compiling a list of every author out there who could possibly be rambling on so incoherently, and rest assured - I will discover who is doing this, and when I do, I will try my best to convince them to come around to my way of thinking. It may take time, effort, and a good deal of stress on my part, but nonetheless! I shall do it.
Just to put the reader's mind at rest about the truthfulness of 'LoisLane's' story, I can verily say that Lois is now sitting beside me, in the same place. It is almost 9:00pm where I am - I will be staying closer than ever to her now, for fear that she is somehow trying to deceive me. The companionship around her has since tripled - so nobody need worry about somebody trying to take her away from me.
Paul: I am not slipping. I am truthful. And thank you for admitting your precarious state of mind. It sure clears up a heck of a lot of things for me.
Your attachment to dogs is rather worrying. Filthy, smelly, messy animals who would sooner bite your nose off than lick you. I would be careful with my choice of animal - perhaps a muzzle would be effective? (for the dog, not you, though come to think of it...)
Have you ever tried to pour your heart out to the nearest ficus tree? Most of my more brilliant ideas and/or moments of reflection have come while I was pruning such a plant - most therapeutic, let me tell you.
I do not have a 'god complex' as you call it. I find your sense of humour strange, not to mention hazily insulting. Kindly desist from drawing conclusions on my mentality that are vague and not particularly useful in future. I appreciate it not at all. I am trying to save your world here, and this is the gratitude I get.
You are right about Dean Cain. He is an actor - he acts every day in the role of a normal man, as true and unbiased as any of us. Behind the façade, behind the show, is a true-blue alien. He did act out his autobiography on television for a number of years - you are right on that score. Unfortunately, not one of the viewers picked up on what he was doing, what he was trying to tell us - that he is really an alien from another planet, with freakish powers. You should be thanking your lucky stars that I am here to enlighten you.
Rest assured, Paul, that my Lois is indeed 'okay'. No need to ask the impostor what you can do for her - unless you have a degree in Psychology, I can imagine that it won't be very much.
Nqoire: I am saddened to see how far the alien has gotten in influencing you. You are obviously not in control. I know none of your 'list' of 'problems' affect me... are you trying to tell me something? Perhaps you have a mirroring complex?
Karen: Your post is interesting. You would have noticed, you say? Classic denial symptoms. You should have noticed. However, you did not notice. This is very important. Rest assured that I am not setting out to make your life any harder - on the contrary. Refer to the points I have made earlier about 'Dean Cain' and be happy.
On the other hand, Lois does not need the sun. I have plenty of artificial lamps around the place - she is just fine, thank you very much. I appreciate your concern, though.
Karen, this 'LoisLane' person who is mocking my intelligence so cruelly is NOT my love. Trust me. I grow ever closer to finding out the TRUE identity of this person - and when I find it, I will expose it, and you people can laugh at her.
And if this person replies to this thread for the rest of the weekend, you can be doubly sure that it isn't my Lois. I will be with her every waking minute - you can be assured of that. She will have no chance to post ANYTHING - not even if she wanted to.
~Lex.
