Okay, I'll start it!

I have a love/hate relationship to deathfic. Most of the time, fanfic is my escape. I don't want reality. I get that in spades in reality! I want escape. I want the good guys to win, the bad guys to pay, and the toys to all be put back in the happy ending. I'll suffer any angst along the way, but I want the happy ending.

Usually.

Sometimes, my mood is different.

Sometimes, a good writer MAKES me read a deathfic I normally won't.

Becky Bain did this to me once with a B&B (Beauty and the Beast) story. Not a deathfic per se, but in that fandom, there are two camps: one where happily ever after is with Beauty (Catherine), one where Beauty died (as in the TV show) and Beauty II (Diana) comes along to help the Beast heal. Talk about a touchy subject- does Catherine get happily ever after, or 6 feet under? I can easily read most Catherine died, Vincent got over it fanfic. Alternate reality and all is a wonderful thing. But then Becky had to write a really good story that twisted a knife in my gut... Catherene wasn't dead after all, but had to walk away out of love. Diana got her man. Catherine had her life.

Me? I had a boat load of hurt.

It haunts me still. Good writing does that. I knew going in I wasn't going to "like" the ending, but there it was, Becky's name on it... and I had to read it. And it's a great story in every way except... no happy ending for me.

Enter this new story about Lois dying at the hands of the justice system. Clark watching, helpless. Me? Stumbled on it. Saw the WHAM, disregarded it. Why?? Because 95% of the time other people's WHAMs don't WHAM me. The other 5%? In a "need to see how bad the accident was sort of way," I can't stay away. I wince, I skim, I squirm, and I keep reading because of the dang good writing that forces me to keep going. I lean into the pain, finish the story in relief, and sit in awe that the written word can cause such strong reactions.

I'm glad that most fanfic isn't deathfic. I don't seek out deathfic. I don't wallow in hours of long stories that end up being deathfic. It's not FUN!

But I'm so grateful for the chance to have my virtual world shaken up by great writing, that I'll keep reading it.

Carefully of course... and with lots of kleenex handy.

Jackie

Jackie N.
jacalynsue@zoominternet.net