Originally posted by John Lambert:
I just noticed that there appears to be one too many uses of "on" in this sentance.
Thanks. Fixed.
Clark flew over to the nearest naval ship and hovered just off the bridge until the Commander, a Captain, and an Admiral, who were observing the tests, acknowledged him.
...
The three men exchanged glances, conceding that none of them had any idea to what he was referring. Clark sensed another long day ahead.
JOHN: If I read the first passage right, Superman encounters two men on the bridge. One is a captain who is the commander of the vessel, and the other is an admiral. The second passage at least makes it sound like three men besides Superman are exchanging glances. I am pretty sure you either want to reword the people on the bridge, or reduce it to two men exchanging glances.
Commander is also a rank in the navy. I changed it to "the Commander, the Captain, and the Admiral..."
I do have to say I did enjoy the interchange though.
Thanks.
Clark:I should give myself more excuses if it gets Lois to touch me like this.
Right now the difficulty isn't getting Lois to touch him, but getting her to stop.
I have to say "stay to higher ground" seems a bit odd. I guess it works though, and maybe it is the best phrasing. I would have said "stay on higher ground", but maybe this form works better. I don't know.
I think either works, but "on higher ground" is the normal way of saying that phrase.
Considering he thinks if he had worded the instruction more as a command she would have listened, I think she is right that Superman still does not come close to understandign Lois.
CLARK: I knew I shouldn't have left that Handbook that other Clark gave me back in alt-dimension.
Also, I am not sure MPD jurisdiction would cover that far out at sea.
Good point.
I am pretty sure this should be "back to your place".
Fixed. Thanks.
Lois:And it also has a lava lamp.
Clark:None of that now.
Lois:So we can do it later.
Clark:That is not what I said.
Technically, Clark *did* give her a lava lamp for her birthday, so she has one too.
