"Haven't you seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Clark? It's so exciting! I finally got far enough in my martial arts classes to learn mid-air Kung Fu! ... But I'm only just starting, so I have to have these pads underneath me, just in case."
------
"Whee! This 'Fly Like Superman!' catapult ride for the Daily Planet street fair was such a great idea! This is going to be fun! 10... 9... 8..."
"Lois! Wait! Jimmy isn't done setting up for the dessert presentation!"
"So?"
"He left the cake on the landing mat!"
"2... 1... Oh NoooOOOOOOOOOooooooooo..." *splat*
-----
"Okay, Lois. You win. You can do the high jump. Great job. Now can you please get out of the middle of the road?"
-----
"Lois, I know it's tempting, but I'm sorry. You just can't go using your Ultra Woman powers to make a giant flapjack-flipping machine!"
-----
"Okay, Clark! I'm coming in for a landing! How am I doing so far?"
"Lois, stop!"
*freezes in mid-air* "What is it?"
"Well, for one thing, you overshot the landing pad. You were about to smash into the sidewalk."
"Oops. What's the other thing?
"You forgot your costume."
"Oh. So much for the secret identity."
-----
"Lois, what are you doing at the end of a giant game of Mousetrap?"
"Proving a point, Clark."
"Uh, what point is that?"
(Jimmy, OS: Hmm, I wonder what this button does...)
"See this plate I'm standing on?"
"Yeah...?"
(*crank, crank, snap*)
"It's at the end of a long, complicated, and very obvious trap."
"Yeah...?"
(*Roll*)
"So the person standing here when it goes off would be..."
"I don't know."
(*Sproing!*)
"Come on, Clark. The person standing here when it goes off would be pretty darned..."
"I give up."
(*Whum, whum, whum*)
"It's a simple word, Clark. Where's that investigative reporter's spirit?"
"Uhm... looking behind you."
(*clackataclackataclackata*)
"Yeah right. That's the oldest one in the book."
"No, seriously, Lois... You need to know --"
(*pling, pling, pling*)
"Don't try to sidetrack me, Clark. All you have to do is say the word."
"I'll guess later, okay? Right now, I need you to step off the plate."
(*rrrrrrooooooooooooolllllllllll...*)
"Fine, if you don't want to play, I'll just tell you. But you're really disappointing me, Clark."
"I'm sorry, Lois. I'd be happy to guess once you're off the plate, but I really think you need to --"
(*wooosh*)
"Forget it, Clark. It's too late. I'm just going to say it. As obvious as this set-up is, the person standing here when the trap went off would be pretty..." (*WHUD*) "darned..." (*SPRING!*) "Chummmmmmmmpppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..."
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
