Perry closed the phone and turned in her direction as walked up. “Woman, didn’t I tell you to go home and work on your POV piece?” he grouched.
I think that should be "as she walked up".
“That’s not was I was going to say,” he said. “You said previously to let you get a word in edgewise, maybe you should give me the same courtesy.”
I think Clark would say "not what I was".
“Marlow!” Inspector Henderson’s interrupted Lois’s interview just as she was going in for the kill. “What are you doing?”
That should either be "Inspector Henderson interrupted" or "Inspector Henderson's voice", but probably the first works just fine.
