Besides, I wrote this story for a reason. It was to let go of some of my emotions and I could only identify with Clark for that. It has helped me, for I am one step closer to being 'normal' again instead of the state I've been in the last few months.
Yes, I understand that. And that is precisely why I would never criticize you for writing it.
But I still want to discuss the "death-of-a-woman" story as a genre and as an "established idea" in human culture. With my background, I know that I myself was taught to regard "death-of-girls" stories as cathartic and ultimately uplifting, whereas "death-of-boys" stories were never offered to me as a source of strength or renewed hope. Why else was I served up many stories where girls died and went to heaven, but never any stories where the same thing happened to boys?
At the same time, I'm absolutely sure that my relatives who gave me the stories about dead girls didn't realize what kind of message they were giving me. I'm sure that my relatives hadn't even truly noticed that the dead children in their stories were all girls. In short, my relatives taught me something they weren't even aware that they were teaching me.
In my case, the attempts at educating me backfired. Instead of regarding stories about the deaths of innocent girls as ultimately uplifting, I was horrified and outraged at them. Why was it good that girls died, but not that boys died?
Of course I realized, even then, that there was an enormous difference between
stories and real life. Sure I was expected to feel good about the deaths of girls
in stories, but I was certainly
never expected to be happy about the deaths of girls in real life.
However, since I feel that I was taught something that my "teachers", my relatives, weren't even aware that they were teaching me, I have to wonder what kind of education other people have received. I'm sure that no one here has read all the books and stories that I read as a child. But maybe, maybe you have come across your own stories about girls or women who died, where you were allowed to cry at their deaths and feel relieved afterwards? At the same time, maybe you have never been offered the opportunity to cry "feel-good" tears at the death of a fictional good man?
Back in the seventies, there was a hugely popular move called Love Story. It was about a young man and a young woman who met, fell in love, started having sex together and got married. After a while the young woman got sick, and she was diagnosed with leukemia. Finally she died in the arms of her husband. The End.
Like I said, this movie was enormously popular, especially among young women and girls. I saw it, and was mystified at the popularity of the film. Did the females who loved it identify with the young woman in the movie? If so, were they happy to identify with a character who died? Did they think it was all right to die as long as somebody grieved for them? Did they think that the young husband's utter grief was so incredibly beautiful that they themselves would happily have died if it had made a hunk of a man so heartbroken? Or did they fantasize about comforting the drop-dead gorgeous widower and making him happy again?
And would a remake of "Love Story", where the man dies instead of the woman, be much of a success?
I bring up the question of the Lois deathfics because I think it is deeply troubling if there is an underlying readiness in our "common consciousness" to regard "death-of-women" fics as ultimately uplifting, whereas a corresponding readiness to regard "death-of-(good)-men" as uplifting isn't there. Or, to put it more bluntly: I don't want to be comforted by stories about the death of a woman. And it troubles me - yes, it does - if others are ready to be comforted by stories of the deaths of (good) women, but not by stories of the deaths of (good) men.
Ann
