When LnC first aired I was a huge fan of the show. Somewhere in season three, though, they lost me. It was that darn Clois. It was just... icky, on so many levels, and I had no patience for writers jerking my feelings around. Rather coincidentally at that same time X-Files was moved from Friday night to Sunday night. When I had to choose between the two shows it was a no-brainer.
It took me another year, though, to find XF fanfic. Somewhere at the back of my mind I wondered if there was LnC fic, but I never went looking for it. I was happy in the Phile-dom for almost three years and wrote several stories (vignettes, PWP, case files... it varied). I made some great friends, went to a few conferences and, especially, became very close to two of my betas.
Then, in October 1999, my husband died and I lost all interest in writing or doing anything else for a really long time. The only thing I kept from those days were the two wonderful friends who I had met through writing. I still keep in contact with both of them.
When the DVDs for LnC came out. I kept thinking I should go buy them since I had loved the show so much when it aired. Finally, in January of this year, I broke down and bought them on sale. Once I started watching them, I again started wondering if there was fanfic. It took me until March to actually go looking (I'm lazy, what can I say?).
I read a few stories and then stopped cold. It wasn't that the writing was bad - it was way too good. I wanted to write my own story, but I didn't want to know what I was up against. So I stopped reading and started writing. Once I get the writing bug out of my system, I fully intend to start reading again (and suffer some massive anxiety).
Are there similarities between what I wrote then and what I write now? Maybe a turn of phrase or stuff like that but they're two completely different shows and four completely different characters. I think what attracted me about Mulder and Scully (the unresolved sexual tension or UST) is kind of the same thing that drew me into LnC as well. Which might be why all my stories take place in those heady days before Lois knew. <shrug>
There was a definite hierachy in the Phile fandom, although I got to know most of the authors from email and a few "writer's conferences" and they turned out not to be the egomaniacs that some people (including me) expected. We didn't have a feedback board - all the feedback was done as email, but if you responded to the list server, everyone could read it. Or there was a weekly roundup of reviews? It's amazing how much you forget. One thing I haven't forgotten - the first person to reply to my first story. In XF it was a girl named Rachel E. Here it was Jackie K. (Hi, Jackie!
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I, too, was pleased with having a general editor to go over my stories before they were archived. Heaven knows I need it, and I can't tell you how many XF stories lost me over things like vice/vise.
It feels good to be writing again. And I can't even begin to express how much it means to me that everyone has been so wonderful about the stories I've posted. It makes me feel like maybe it wasn't a bad decision to get involved in the fanfic world again.
I'm glad I found all of you. My only regret is that it took so long.
Sue
