Also, my solution for the IoM virus is not based in fact, but based on what was done in canon, which I cannot believe is anywhere close to the real way to solve such a problem.
/has completely forgotten how they dealt with it, which must mean it was up to the standards for portraying software problems in television and movies. But I *think* they didn’t solve it by pouring coughing syrup down the cooler vents of the computers.
![[Linked Image]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/50/StarTrekIntoDarkness_FinalUSPoster.jpg)
Lex patted his double on the shoulder. “You’ll appreciate another visit topside, this time with some fresh air,” he said, leading the clone to the secret elevator hidden behind a bookcase in his ark’s study, where Nigel was waiting.
And what happens when the clone decides to off his daddy and take over.
NIGEL: I would never allow that to happen, sir. After all, what would I do with a clone who doesn’t have the experience to lead your empire on his own?
Lex inserted his keycard and typed in his code, the date of his White Orchid Ball when he had first met Lois.
Awwwww… Will he replace it with the date when he has first consummated Lois once that happens?
“Nigel has an evening of skeet shooting planned for you, should you do well with your lessons.”
Mini-Lex: And what happens if I miss a skeet and it hits one of the passersby below?
The Lex-Clone’s eyes widened with anticipation. “Really? A gun? A real gun? Oh, Father, thank you. I’ve wanted to use one of those, since I first read about them.”
You should see what they can do to a grown man, such as your father.
“Uh-uh-uh,” Lex said with a shake of his head. “What did I tell you about expressing gratitude?”
Don’t?
“Well, it wasn’t as if I was speaking to an underling, Father.
Shouldn’t that be ‘minion’?
Mini-Lex: What am I? The Bitch-Queen of Church?
You’ll be dining with Dr. Carlin.
Lex is having Mini-Lex have a go at Ari during their anniversary?
LEX: I’m now in love with Lois. I don’t want that stiff, frigid… besides, my son needs a hobby, too.
She’ll be teaching you about proper table manners and decorum while in the company of women.”
Later that evening:
ARI: Ugh-ugh-ugh. No touching the hostess’s breasts until you have promised to put a ring on her finger. Or chained her up in your bedroom.
The clone’s brow furrowed. “But, Father, if might is right, and the Luthors are mighty, why do I need ‘polite manners’?”
Because the peasants might be poor and ill-equipped, but if they organize with pitchforks, you still need a machine gun emplacement to keep them at bay.
“Perhaps you are right, Nigel, but he’ll never be able to step in for me at a moment’s notice if he’s never taught how a woman should really be treated,” Lex reminded his majordomo.
LOIS: If he treats me like *that*, I’ll have something for him, too:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/k085.gif)
I had to inform Ari because her viewing room of the psychiatrist’s office is on the other side of Lex-C’s bedroom.”
“Yes, Sir. I won’t make that mistake again,” Nigel insisted with a bow, disappearing into the elevator.
Oh dear. And Nigel’s still walking straight? He does take 100 lashes quite well, I must say.
NIGEL: The benefits of having been a covert operative for her Majesty's clandestine service during the Russian occupation of Afghanistan.
Lex-C considered the ex-Mrs. Luthor a type of mother figure, so using her for fine-tuning his nuanced skills with women would be pointless, despite the obvious reasons.
Obvious: That she’s stiff and frigid. Not so obvious reason: Lex apparently does not have an Oedipus complex.
If Lex-C had no personal experience with women, it was conceivable that one would be able to seduce him and thereby turn him into a docile and blathering idiot, regardless of Lex’s training.
Anyway, Mrs. Cox was starting to enjoy his latest series of punishments, so it was time to up them a notch.
And what if Mrs. Cox decides to make Mini-Lex heel and then offs both Lex and Nigel?
Starting Lex-C out with a female toy, whom he could enjoy by also physically hurting, would show the clone the true pleasure of women.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/c050.gif)
That didn’t turn out too well for Cersei and her mongrel son.
MONGREL: I’m a *king*.
WISE ELDERLY GENT with a heart of gold (literal gold): If you have to say that you’re a king, you’re not a king at all. Now go to your room without supper and try not to torture another prostitute to death. It’s starting to get expensive.
“Have the arrangements been made as I requested them?”
“Yes, Sir, the woman in question should be here in five minutes,
Lois Lane look-alike?
gesturing towards the mock-fireplace dining arrangement that Lex liked to use with all his first dates.
Oh. Bren. Hope she likes being on the receiving end of an OB/GYN exam.
LEX: Why would I exam her? She’s here to pleasure *me*.
“Your grey suit and fresh linens have been placed on your bed.”
Isn’t that a tad cocky to assume he’ll score on the first date?
ASABI: That’s what the date rape drugs in the guest’s food is for.
Each lady needs to feel as if she, and she alone, has my undivided attention.
Huh. How’s he accomplishing *that* feat?
Only later, if the need arises, will we inform them that they are only part of my harem.”
Once he gets bored and institutes multiple partner events and jelly wrestling matches?
“I must change. See to it that someone from maintenance comes tomorrow and puts a more pleasant tone to that… bell,”
Huh, what’s about that? Or is it the first time Lex has heard a door bell?
“Good evening, Mr. Luthor. No problems. I’m afraid I was a bit early. This is a Cézanne landscape, is it not?” she asked.
The Ark is a good place to hide the originals he had acquired.
“Please, call me Brenda,” she insisted. “Shall we now retire to your bedroom? Or do you wish to get undressed in here?”
Is there some reason that you should wish a gynecologist for your private doctor?”
Wait, is she taunting him, telling him she knows he wants a private exam of a different nature?
Lex said, feeling distinctly outside of his comfort zone and taking a step backwards away from her.
It’s fun seeing him interact with a woman he’s too much woman for him. Mindy would have him run screaming. Or gassed.
She wasn’t acting and speaking as he was led to believe a woman of her occupation and station would.
And who led him to believe that? His previous experience with female members of the medical profession?
“Please, Lex, if we’re going to be intimately acquainted, you must call me ‘Brenda’.”
She’s taking the piss out of him. This is hilarious.
“Dr. Muldoon is only for my patients,” Brenda corrected him. “And being that you clearly aren’t rightly equipped with breasts and ovaries, my guess is that you want to fill my uterus for the coming dawn.”
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/nahrung/a055.gif)
Although, a tad crass and not entirely feasible.
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![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a015.gif)
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![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/b075.gif)
She’s literally talking about Lex filling her uterus with his demon spawn in order to help populate what they’re calling the Coming Dawn.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif)
She’s very practical, that Brandi.
LOIS: A bit of a whore, though. I wouldn’t spread my legs for that…that…misogynist scum if the survival of humanity depended on it.
“I would never presume…” he stated calmly, despite the surge of excitement that rushed through him at her words.
She’s not talking about sexual pleasures.
“Of course you would, so let’s cut past the chase.
