Darth Michael: 
Thanks for being patient.
Ooooooh! [Michael does his happy dance as he imagines Lex turning into a vampire]
LEX: Wrong story.
Yes, and this isn't called the "Wrong Story".
Such as: Lois spreads her legs for Lex and he lets her parents and sister live?
LOIS: /considers the consequences/ Nah. Let'em die. They'd prefer it that way.
Maybe he should build a boss-switch into the door latch so his monitor gets automatically switched to Stock-TV when someone opens the door?
LEX: Nigel! You heard the man. Set it up immediately.
Which is why he stopped divorcing his wives Henry-VIII style and started disposing them Henry-VIII style.
LEX: No, I founded the religion for tax reasons, not so I could get a divorce from Ari. I could have gotten that from the church based on that they don’t recognize marriages to the wives of Satan in the first place.
Are you suggesting that there have been other Mrs. Luthor's between Arianna and now?
ARI:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/a045.gif)
Isn’t he a fortunate boy?
LEX: /rocking back and forth on his heels/ I believe so.
Maybe she had already invented Revenge v1?
She's not the chemistry major.
Doesn’t seem to work. /points at Lex’s obsession with Superman/
Umm... Okay.
SUPERMAN: Where's that uzi?
It had broken his heart that he hadn’t been able to give his wife pleasure on their wedding night.
[Michael has mild heart attack at the mere implication that Lex had a heart at one point]
Don't worry, he retracts the thought.
Can the other women drag Ari to court for this?
ARI: No, dead people can’t sue.
JUDGE: /pockets money/ I rule for Ari Carlin, because she didn't know that her husband would use her words so loosely.
Maybe Ari is more into the female form than into driving stick?
LEX: But I’m a Rolls Royce.
Dr. M: Yeah. An automatic.
ARI:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif)
Wait! Lex! Not with the hired help.
DR. M: Ex-cuse me!
She sounds like she’s on the wrong side on the therapy couch.
LEX: Well, duh!
ARI: (during a sightseeing tour in the Champange) So, where are your horses?
VIZIER:
ARI: But my husband bought it from your stable, which is why it has that interesting bouquet.
VIZIER: Off! Off my property, madame!
Hence, why he had Revenge invented (as in to make a stuck-up ice-queen act like a 50-dollor whore).
LEX:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif)
GHOST OF MIRANDA: I invented it without any intellectual contribution from Lex.
ARI: Lex, I’d love to have a dollhouse…
/having seen Joss Wheadon's Dollhouse/ Yes, I could see hear her suggesting it in this manner.
He does strike me as a two people with one bullet type of person.
Exactly.
She does seem like she could use an extended stay in the Church Home for the Mentally Challenged, too.
LEX: But I built a mental institution just for her!
So, she’s a 50-million dollar escort?
LEX: /shrugs/ Maybe not that much.
Maybe Lex should have taken that as a clue and shoved her off the boat before running away. A woman like that might just lock you up in her dollhouse and treat you like a pet.
Perhaps he did care for her after all.
CARLIN Sr.: That…stupid… [his famous last words]
ARI: My Daddy never understood me.
Perhaps.
Except on their anniversary. Plus, he also doesn’t want her to touch Lois.
LEX: I just said ‘my things’. What part of that don’t you understand?
ARI: So, am I allowed to break your things as long as I don't touch them?
Somebody is going to lose some body parts over this.
MRS. COX: /suddenly takes two week long vacation/
Oh boy. He sure made himself a fine bed, there.
I couldn't make life too easy for him.
He has never met the source of all stubbornness in the world, has he? Besides, she finds doing that thing with him to be very icky.
Lois or Ari?
That could be counted as a mistake. After all, he could be First Hausmann in a couple of years had he married her. I’m sure he’d look adorable in lederhosen.
LEX: I'll be ruler of the world in a few years. I don't need unnecessary partnerships to make it happen.
Couldn’t he spray her on another day and see if it works? If it doesn’t, no harm done. And if it does, he could keep her under permanently.
LEX:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif)
Nigel, go hire than nice young man to take over your job. It appears you're up for retirement.
ARI: Daddy always said that it’s a sin to do that with my college roommate, so I stuck to men. It’s not my fault I find them icky.
No, I didn't really want to go into too much detail on Ari's diversion.
Maybe if he had her tongue cut out and her fingers broken?
LEX: Don’t be stupid, I could just paralyze her vocal cords, shine a red light into her eyes, and puncture her eardrums.
But he likes it when she screams.
Well, he could expedite the schedule?
LOIS: [thinks this a bad idea] Why do I suddenly feel the urge for sushi? Lex, I’d love me some fresh *OCTOPUS*!
SUPERMAN: No, officer, I have no idea why there is a Luthor-shaped goo-smudge on the wall.
ER: /suggests that Lex invite Lois to join him and Ari on their date/
Oh, wait. Then he wouldn't show up to the opera.
LEX: And under no circumstances are you to drag Ms. Lane into a bathroom stall and have your way with her.
LEX-C: So, broom-closet, then?
LEX: [kids! Oh-vey!]
Thankfully, Lex hasn't introduced Lex-C to Mrs. Cox yet, so he doesn't know what he's missing.
I’m thinking he protests too much. /points at what he wants to do to Lois/
LOIS: Ummm…no, that’s not what that act is called. Making love is not a felony offense.
LEX: Don't be ridiculous, Lois. I'd never be convicted, let alone arrested.
Later, on Saturday:
LEX: I’m sorry, Ari, this has never happened to me before.
ARI:
I can’t have that divorce be final.
Gee, I wonder how many times he's said that.
Maybe they shouldn’t have invited a whack-job?
Previously undiagnosed.
Maybe if he let him out, then irradiated him until his tongue falls out, then sent him back down so he could die a very horrible, very visible death by turning to bloody goo in the main hall?
NIGEL:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d075.gif)
Oooh! Just like in Die Hard with a Vengeance.
That's the one in NYC, right? Hmmm. Was that the scene where the pretty woman could fight?
LEX: /looks at Laws for the New Dawn as Written by Lex Luthor/ No.
Awwww. Thanks.
Just like Ari does, huh?
ARI: I never give him perfume so he smells like my uncle.
Right. With men it would be cologne.
Will she still be able to walk straight?
No.
/whispers/ Maybe ‘rewards that came’
Thanks. Fixed.
