Now as you've pointed out, you yourself are rather unique here in that most of your Lois and Clark background is steeped in the comics and the movies. Conversely I have never read any comics, and although I've seen the movies, I do not interchange movieverse with L&C-verse. The fact that Superman gave Lois that awful amnesia-kiss has no relevance at all - for me - to what happens here. I cannot combine those visions of Clark/Superman in my head. You cannot separate your cumulative knowledge of the characters in your head.
Gee, and I though I was the only one with that issue around here.
My take - unless it's a straight novelization of the show (what went on the screen with background, if any from the original writers) it's an alt-universe. In the show, Lois and Clark are defined as soul-mates. But soul mates don't always end up together in a particular lifetime. The the canon alt-verse, Clark didn't even realize the possibility that he had a soul-mate until Tempus and Wells got involved. Was that Clark in love with that Lana - he would have said so until he met Lois. If he and Lana had been married when Lois arrived, would he have regretted his decision? Maybe, but he wouldn't have acted on it - that's not how the character is written. Clark his honest and honorable.
If Lana had died before Clark met Lois could they get together - possibly, once he realized he didn't want to spend his life alone. Would that diminish his feelings for his first wife? No more than for any other widowed person who finds a new partner.
Conversely - if Clark had never arrived in Metropolis, would Lois have found someone else? Maybe, maybe not - she has always been written as a woman who needed a man who was her equal - and she
has no equal, until Superman shows up.
Maybe a key point is hiding here - Lois knows she has no equal and her experience tells her not to settle for less, until she meets Superman.
Clark knows he has no equal (he is, after all, able to fly) but may be willing to consider what's available - until he meets Lois.
My 2-cents worth.
