I think, Carol, that the strong emotions this kind of discussion brings up are specific to the individual. I understand that you want to see Lois and Clark and only Lois and Clark get together. Frankly, so do I. I also believe that this was the strength of the show, that a man and woman can overcome anything - even death - if they simply persevere and make use of all the help they can get.
But I also don't understand why you feel that Clark's being a widower disqualifies him from having that "once in a lifetime" love with Lois. If a man loses his wife to death (or divorce, which can be more devastating than death) after two years of marriage, is he doomed to suffer incompleteness for the rest of his life? And what about the woman who marries a man like that? Will she be doomed to know that she will never live up to the first wife's legacy? That's a scary concept, and one with which I do not agree.
You've made the case that because Clark married Lana before he met Lois, they can never love each other with that "once in a lifetime" love. I'm pretty sure I don't agree with that premise, especially since you've let Lois off this same hook by describing her previous relationships as "Federal disasters." Yes, that was Lois's term, but a bad relationship generates as much emotional baggage for the next person as a good relationship does. This, to me, is just as much a sexist viewpoint as treating Lois as simply "the next one in line" is.
I don't recall reading a fanfic with the following premise, so let's make one up. For reasons unimportant to this example, Lois falls in love with and marries someone before she meets Clark. This someone dies in a tragic manner, leaving Lois alone until she meets Clark. Now, since Lois had a wonderful relationship with this anonymous man, is she incapable of experiencing that "one great love" with Clark? And if so, is Clark left with "sloppy seconds" because he marries a woman he can never be "once in a lifetime" in love with? (Lousy grammar, but I hope you understand what I mean.)
I understand this complaint very well, Carol, since you leveled it against one of my stories ("The Road Taken") because Clark loved Lana and married her before he met Lois and Lana died. Honestly, it stung a little then, and I'm sure that our current author feels the sting too. You're a well-respected and well-spoken member of this forum, and you always present your opinions in a thoughtful and clear manner, so a critique from you cannot be brushed away without strong consideration that the critique is not just valid as your opinion but is the correct viewpoint. The only problem I see is that you don't seem to accept the fact that others don't feel as you do about this situation.
I respect your opinion, Carol. It's just as valid and important as mine is. But it's just an opinion. You're coming across as if your viewpoint is the only correct one. It isn't. It's completely valid, and I am NOT telling you to keep it to yourself, but you should also respect the opinions and viewpoints of others on this issue. The perception, judging from your feedback postings on a number of stories, is that you do not grant that respect on this question.
And I humbly suggest that if a number of people tell you that you're coming across in a way that you don't think you're coming across, maybe the "multitude of counselors" has the correct take on the situation after all.
Please don't take this as a challenge or a put-down. I only want you to allow others to hold their views without fear of being picketed in the feedback folder. I encourage you to keep posting what you believe, but I also encourage you to open your mind to other ideas and other concepts. You don't have to accept everything someone else believes (and you shouldn't), but you should respect it.
Thank you. I hope this post spreads oil on troubled waters and calms them.
