Digitalsky, just a brief response: a lot of what you're commenting on is stylistic and a matter of preference rather than right or wrong.
But I do have to point out that the first section was certainly not plagiarism. David did re-use lines of dialogue from the episode, but they were used to create different meaning, and those lines were also only a small part of the section. There was plenty which was his own work.
Finally, you're probably not aware that this:
I do not know if you are aware, but when you end a sentence with an ellipse, there are four dots. When it is within a sentence, you use three.
is a US grammar rule, which does not apply in many other countries where English is the primary language - including Australia, which is where David is from.
Wendy
