Ann, I have to ask: are your issues with the Bible's commands taken in light of the time? The things you're complaining about appear to be treated wholly separate from culture. And believe me, not all cultures are equal, despite what the multiculturalists of today might claim (a good read of Politically Correct Bedtime Stories makes that point very humorously). The culture the Israelites came from back then treated human beings as commodities, women as 2nd class citizens (if they counted as citizens at all), and generally didn't have any of the sort of equality and freedom we enjoy today. I would also ask that you take a look at how long it took to change culture so women these days have the freedom to vote, own land, etc.--and how there are *still* many people who don't believe women are as good as men. I believe you are aware of this. These changes occurred in a modern democratic/republic society where people have much more say, and dissent is tolerated (if not outright approved). Now let's go to a culture like the pagan past, where government and religion are intricately linked, where the concept of people having a say in the government is just about unheard of, and where the mindset of *everyone* is that women are inferior and belong having babies, etc. Trying to change people's minds overnight is impossible unless you literally brainwash them. Considering God is all about free will and letting *us* choose, that wasn't an option for him. Any change that happened would have to be very slow. God made laws, people obeyed those laws, and gradually as they followed them, their minds and hearts began to change, and the culture changed.
Let's take a look at a few of those laws in the light of the culture of the time:
Exodus 21 - God gives rules about treating Hebrew servants (since they're bought, we could call them slaves) fairly. Before, a man might sell himself to pay a debt, and be forever a slave, with no rights. With this rule, he could still pay off the debt, and after six years he would be free again to go on with life.
Selling a daughter as a servant--prior she could be sold and become someone's personal prostitute, or something just as bad. With the new laws, she had to be given rights as a daughter (if to be the wife of the son of her new master), or to be redeemed back to her family (and there were specific rules on how that worked). She also had to be provided food, clothing, and marital rights if the master married her and then chose to marry another wife also. Here you see how polygamy was limited--a man could only have as many wives as he could really take care of. And most men back then weren't "millionaires" to be able to afford multiple wives. The provisions for proper treatment of each wife limited polygamy and helped guide the culture towards seeing what marriage was *really* supposed to be.
The personal injuries laws restrict the revenge mindset that was common in the day--someone loses an arm, so the offended family kills someone on the other side, and the violence escalates. If properly followed, these laws would prevent the sort of family feuds that are often seen in honor-based societies such as those in the Middle East.
Those are just a few of the examples in the Bible. I would also ask you to not take the most shocking stories and hold them up and go "Oh my, look at that, how awful they treated women here!" without examining all the historical context and background. That sort of discussion is sensationalist and reactionary and does not engender thoughtful examination of things.
Anyway, as you can see, there are a lot of examples of where the Israelite laws restricted some of the excesses of their culture and set them on the path towards loving treatment of fellow humans. Was the culture still flawed? You bet; they were still human, and humans don't change overnight, even when they *want* to (and you can be sure many of the Israelites were perfectly happy exploiting others, with little conscience left). Were those laws helpful? Yes, even though a casual glance might not look like it. It's easy to see something that to our eyes would be abhorrent and automatically treat that law or story as if it were in our culture, our time. We have to be careful when we look at historical texts such as the Bible that we put on "glasses" to see as someone from that culture and time period might look at things.
