Originally posted by Darth Michael:
LEX: - Foursome!
ARI: That's not what he said.
LEX: Foursome!
Dr. M: Mr. Luthor, you can't handle a foursome.
LOIS: Better make it just a threesome because I'm not coming.
LEX: Umm…Lois, that’s not a stipulation. Besides, I have a medical attest that I can satisfy a woman.
Dr. M: I attested that he’s biologically able to father children.
LEX: See? I can transform women into happy mothers.
LOIS: [No, please, don't make me look!]
Dr. LEIT: I can blind you. For a small fee if you like.
ER: Yes, but this time, Lex needs time to prepare himself. You know, get all bondaged up and stuff.
LEX: Don't be ridiculous. I don't get dressed up. She does.
ER: Oops, funny how little bondage and bandage differ.
Did you mean the latter? Because the former was funnier.
ER: He died and went to Heaven?
EW: Well, that's just screwed up.
ER: Lex getting into Heaven?
St. Peter: What? He paid the fine.
GOD:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif)
ER: She could have gotten him Ricinus-filled chocolates instead?
LOIS: I don't want him dead, just in a lot of pain and the center of my pulitzer prize winning series of articles about the Fall of LexCorp.
ER: Ricinus not Ricin. When consumed, it tastes bitter and causes prolonged sessions in an isolated room that only fitted with cameras when you name is Lois Lane.
CLARK: Soooooo, her bedroom?
MRS. COX: He has *other* people for that. I work the other side. Thank you very much.
LEX: No, thank *you* very much. /except I can't ever picture Lex saying that/
ER: ’thank you’?
Yes. 'Thank You'.
LEX: Isn't a large bill 'thank you' enough?
LOIS: Who do you think I am? Linda King?
ER: At least she got a date with Clark?
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif)
LOIS: *I* went on a date with Clark, too... um... Right. He took me out for my birthday. Date. /fist pump/
ER: Funny thing with their relationship on people trying to worm their way in…
EW: They usually get bitten in half when someone eats the apple?
ER: /Sees 'apple' reads... something else/
Well, that would be really bad if it had worms.
LEX: No, I’m not so sure. /nixes ‘suicide’ from his to-do list/
EW: Why would he want to do that? He's at the top of his game.
ER: Don’t criminals always plan on this contingency? Or is it just that their last-ditch effort to avoid jail time usually is not very well thought out?
LEX: Plan on loosing? Ha! Never! Okay, I *may* have a panic button if the police come with warrants which wipes the hard drive of my computer and sets fire to my filing cabinet, and I may have to distract them so they don't know I'm doing that... but why would I kill myself?
The true reason why the crooks flee Metropolis right before Valentine’s Day.
LOIS: Gee, Lex, another pile of blood corpses for Valentine's Day. How lovely.
SUPERMAN: Lois, you're going to catch your death of cold in that outfit. Here let me cover you up.
LOIS: [Hyper]
SUPERMAN: /returns with neck to ankles flannel nightgown with matching PJ bottoms/
LOIS: /steaming mad/
Well, she WAS hoping to be covered by something in Spandex.
SUPERMAN:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/b075.gif)
/flies off returns with UW uniform/
LOIS: I meant a man in Spandex.
/many males of the Justice League raise their hands/
SUPERMAN: No.
LOIS: :rolleyes:
CARLOS: I’d recommend some more pre-marital counseling for those two. The groom clearly isn’t ready for a committed relationship.
EW: But Clark and Lana have broken up.
ER: Yes, after Clark cheated on her just before the wedding. He’s clearly not ready for marriage. And Lois…Well, don’t get me started on her and her menagerie of guys… One Lois even left her husband-to-be at the altar. Actually, this Lois left *two* of her future husbands right at the altar. *And* asked for a divorce not even a year after she did finally get married.
LOIS: I didn't 'leave' my second fiancee at the altar, was forcibly removed. And I rescinded my divorce request within two minutes, so it doesn't count.
