“Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir. I mean, I’ll go,” Clark replied, his chest aching at the thought of leaving Lois, especially since this new order countermanded the one he had given Clark the night before. “I’ll get down there just as soon as I get Lois back to bed, and take a few minutes to go home to shower and shave.”
Reading through this I think we have a case of mixed antecedents. "the one he had given", has as its antecedent Clark, since he was the last he mentioned, and he was the antecedent of his chest. Except that should have Perry as its antecedent. I think you would be best off saying "the one Perry had" or "the one his boss had".
Was it easier for Lois to think Superman was cruel enough to let a bullet hit her opposed to someone who made mistakes?
I think that should be "her as opposed to".
Clark figured he better gather up his notes and get Perry his story. Lois would be expecting him shortly to pick her up for lunch and to meet Superman. He typed up what he had into a story and walked it into the Chief’s office, closing the door behind him.
I think it should say "he had better" or "he'd better".
