I tried replying to FDK yesterday, but then my kids kicked me off the computer (or threw tantrums) so I never made it back. Let's see how far I can progress today, shall we?

Originally Posted by Darth Michael
EW: Actually, I... er... Lois was referring to the HiM kiss, but you seemed a bit confused.
ER: I was?
For some reason, I thought you were referring to the B39 plane kiss. Perhaps I was mistaken.

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EW: I wonder if there are any stories out there where Vatman dresses up as Clark Kent to try to seduce Lois Lane. <EW gets naughty ideas>
CLARK: /help/
LOIS: /kicks him where it hurts/ You will *not* steal my story, you…you…you *Claude*!
CLARK: huh What did *I* do?
LOIS: You stole all my notes on the Superman clone after we slept together last night! [Linked Image]
CLARK: [Linked Image] I did WHAT?! thud
LOIS: Great. Now, you're saying I wasn't even memorable.

Oh! Somebody has got to write this! /checks plate and sees that it's the size of the buffet table/

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EW: And Lex has a one track mind?
LEX: Business leads to Lois leads to Superman leads to business.
SUPERMAN: Can I get sick now?

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EW: I believe she was undercover while in that outfit.
CAT: Right.
LOIS: About as much as you are undercover when you dress as a $50 hooker.
CAT: This dress cost me more than $50!

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EW: He realized that sometimes Bridezilla doesn't appear until *after* the wedding.
ER: That’s what divorce guns are for?
SAM: [Linked Image] That's what I got these bad babies for.

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CLARK: I've seen the way Lois goes ga-ga for Superman. I've never seen, with one notable exception, her ever going the same kind of ga-ga for me.
ER: That’s because Superman dresses like he’s…available while Clark dresses like a monk.
CLARK: But... But... This suit cost me $100!
LEX: Mine cost $2000.
LOIS: And yet, I still wouldn’t put out until after we’re married and I was legally obligated to if we still lived decades ago.
So, Lois married Lex for his money?
LOIS: No. I was going to marry him for his lack of passion.

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CLARK: Come on. That's not fair. I'm doing what any other hot blooded American male would do if he had my powers, right?
WALLY: Actually…I did never bother to track women by their heartbeat. I just used my x-ray vision. Much easier that way.
NOR: I always knew Kal-El was defective.
CLARK: *would do*, Wally. If you had SM's powers, you *would do* those things.
WALLY: He has x-ray vision right? And Super speed? And strength? /scoffs/ Why would I bother listening for her heartbeat? I could have any girl I wanted!
NOR: Sometimes Kryptonian blood is wasted on the unworthy. /indicates Kal-El/

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ER: The reason she’s still single?
EW: Because no man could pass her back ground check?
LOIS: <does not want to share the future leads she got on international arms dealers, ponzi-artists, bigamists, sociopathic corporate leaders, and other scum> No comment.
ER: So, maybe she should re-evaluate her dating circles?
CLARK: I've got an idea about that!

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CLARK: <Thinks he got a great idea. Doesn’t yet know it will backfire on him.> I don't have to do what Lois says!
LOIS: Great. You've broken him.
ER: It’s funnier that way, watching the cowgirl breaking-in her pony?
LOIS: So, you're saying that I need to bring out my leather... [Linked Image]
CLARK: help

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ER: He’s also implying that Lois would do all the lifting in their relationship.
CLARK: <think Lois can’t hear him> Wouldn't she do so anyway? LOIS: /doesn't like that Clark's riding her coattails to fame/
CLARK: I mean, wouldn't she admit to doing all the heavy lifting, even though I put in my fair share?
LOIS: Fair share? Ha!
CLARK: You found the bomb on the Prometheus. I lifted it into orbit.
LOIS: That was... shock Oh.

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ER: I hear Venus got some fine women.
EW: Oh, you mean... <apparently there is a comic about women of Venus>
ER: Apparently. Although, I was just referring to the classic saying…
Sorry, I thought you'd recognize her from that comic photo. How about this one from Smallville? [Linked Image] I don't think it was said that she was actually FROM Venus, but lol

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ER: Sorry. And also by just how many Alt-Clarks have already been killed off by their respective Tempus.
EW: That actually doesn't come up in this story.
ER: /stammers with shock/ I think I just realized what causes your stories to…expand.
I challenge others to turn my innocent Gfic's into Nfics? [Linked Image]

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LOIS: What's wrong with how I dress?
CLARK: I like the way Lois looks.
CAT: There's really no accounting for taste, is there?
ER: The funny part is, that Lois actually dressed quite short in seasons 1 and 2.
That's because short skirts were in style in 1993-4.
CAT: And yet she buttons her shirts up to the top button.
CLARK, JIMMY, RALPH: huh Haven't short skirts always been in style since their invention?

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LOIS: You forgot certified genius.
BENDER: Thank you.
LOIS: I was referring to me.
BENDER: Do you have a certificate? I do.

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ER: So, at least they’d die all together in a nice fireball instead of Dr. Baines dying all alone in a nice fireball?
EW: So, how exactly is that better?
ER: Dying alone is often quoted as a sad thing?
Um... I thought that was drinking alone?

VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.