Thank Sammy!!




so.. what could they be thinking ?

-Camy

Clark (thinking): Lois' lip takes so good...chocolate, banana, asparagus, avocado...

Lois: Uh Clark, did you know they installed a security camera in the elevator. What do you wanna bet that's because of us five months ago...Clark!

EDIT: I added the "What do you.." later. Double meaning, anyone?

Lois thinking: I wonder if *now* would be a good time to tell Clark my mom is moving in with us....


Woody?? Asparagus???? Where's the "gross me out" icon??? j/k

Clark: Mff grble mff?

Lois: 'ot 'et.

It's dangerous to wish that you could kiss your partner forever, especially when an imp from the fifth dimension is back.

ok, it's time to choose somebody... aaahh this is difficult, love all three, but... Woody it's your turn!

-Camy

Since I'm having trouble remembering my account info at photobucket, I'll just post the link here.

http://www.loisandclarkarchive.com/OW/OedipusWrecks941.jpg

(What s your interpretation of the can?)

If someone wants to post the pic here for me, feel free.

thats a montage picture


btw does anybody remeber my not having a go due to me beng on holiday? ......can i ahvce a go please it was on the old thread though

Sure. What do you mean, a montage picture, though?

Perry: "Jimmy, let go of me!"

Jimmy: "Okay, chief, take a deep breath of the aerosol in here, and you'll feel much better. Kind of relaxed."

Perry: "Jimmy, I'm not nuts. LET GO OF ME!"

Sorry, can't come up with anything better.

That's okay. I was going to do the dancing picture later on, but I saw that can, and was like, "What on earth?"

Jimmy's "nut can full of springy snakes" goes horribly horribly wrong....

Jimmy: I'm not sure if I can pull off the Heimlich (sp?) manoeuvre when The Chief is this worked up over seeing Elvis give Alice a kiss.

Well, Kal, I was going to let you have a go, but people have responded. So, make a really funny caption?

My cap: Jesus Jimmy, that's cold.

Where exactly are the springy snakes, Teej?

If springy snakes are going to go wrong, where do YOU think they'd be?

In the meantime, new caption...

Jimmy: "Gee Perry, your herbal tea and meditation therapy doesn't seem to be working out very well..."

Well, since there are no more guesses, I suppose I shall have my own little awards ceremony. A participation medal goes to myself. There's a tie for the silver between Mellie and CB. And the gold medal goes to TJ for the springy snakes.

That made me think of something slithering up Perry's ear. "Jimmy, st...ooh, that kind of tickles."

YAY!! I win again!! Booo, I have to post a picture. Lemme see what I can dig up...

Want any cheeeese with that whine?

Clark: "Hey, I didn't *mean* to spill ten thousand gallons of urple paint all over Metropolis!"

Urple is defined as "the most glaring and brash cross between pink and purple you can imagine. And even worse than that." It's off a LotR story at FF.net

i went to that link and i got to a picture made up of many little pictures

"Dad, how's Mom doing?"

"Her arm is getting better. Still in the cast, but it's healing. Another couple of weeks, and she should be good as new."

"Glad it's getting better, but... a couple of weeks?"

"Yeah. Takes a little longer when you get to be our age, son."

"Well, if there's anything I can do, let me know."

"Sure, sure. Speaking of which... I guess I'll be making your costumes until she gets better. Did you get a chance to try on that first one I made?"

"Uhm... yeah... I... uh... got to try it on... Uhm..."

(And that's when the picture was taken.)

Clark: Dad I appreciate you trying to help Mom by fixing my costumes for me, but the briefs you fixed recently are currently giving me a wedgie.

Crazy Babe, I'm passing the ball to you!

Oh boy me huh? Hmm... ok here we go!

Perry : Do you know what I've caught in my hands? Dozens of live insects - mosquitoes and bees! Now run off to get me the scoop or I'll set them on you! Grrrr...

Anyone else want to add their creative caption?

Perry: Hemorrhoids are no joke son.

When zombies attack dressed as a certain editor...

hehe, his eyes are just too bug eyed and funny. :rolleyes:

Perry describing the time he interviewed Richard Nixon....

Stick em up, son. Stick em up.

They were all very good, but I have to go with the hemorrhoids line so you're up datchickukindaknow!

Yey! Ok lets see.

Clark consults his little book of "Nice Compliments for Stupid Hairstyles"

Clark <thinks> : Oops! I hope Lois doesn't notice my loose pants, or should I tighten 'em with my tie?!

Clark and Lois are trying to think up a way to tell Perry not to give up his day job after he arrives at work dressed up as Elvis singing Blue Suede Shoes.

Hum tough choice but I gota go with Shimuama.

Are you sure you don't want to wait for a couple more entries?

Would anyone like to post a picture?

Okey dokey, Ya'll have at it, but I reserve the right to make funny too, even if I can't pick myself to win.

Lois: Does my bum look big in this?

Lois: Don't drink my coffee while I attend to urgent business in the... ummm... bathroom

Dan: Hey Lois I'd like you to meet Marvin Stafford, a friend of mine. He's an artist, and I hope you won't mind him painting your picture as a present for you.

Marv: Oh, that's perfect. Hold that pose. I think I'll call it "Domestic Serving Coffee."

And Lois turns her head and *SNAP* the frame is frozen with that look on her face.

I just keep remembering Lois in Chi of Steel yelling "Get your own DAMN coffee!"

Dan: "Nice bun."

Lois: "If you think you can get anywhere with that sort of sexist remark, you got a think coming." (Lois then proceeds serving Dan his coffee down the front of his shirt.)

Dan: *Yelp*

If only that had happened for real...

Lara you're up!! I took a ken to your suggestion that Lois should poor coffee on Dan.

So who's my volunteer for next cap??

may I?

Perry White: Orangutan in Chief

Perry : Great Shades Of Elvis! How did you manage to knock two of my teeth off?

Ah, gr8shades! Loved the *orangutan* one!

Whaddya mean I got somethin' stuck in my teeth?

Clark: Uh, chief, oh well...

Perry: What?

Clark: I was going to warn you that the side effect of eating more than one paava leaf is impotence.

Jimmy: Quick! Someone call Star Labs! There's a vine growing in Mr. White's mouth!

James

Vanda, vere are you?

Yes, I'm here, woody Sorry for being a bit late

Thanks everyone for your great comments! I was laughing a lot about the Orangutan in Chief. So it's your turn gr8shades!

I won? Yay me!

Ok, so I love a good bad guy.




What have you got?

What do you mean the black suit and sunglasses aren't optional?

Lex growling: So I'm smoking a huge cigar while fondling Superman's glowing globe; I don't give a rat's backside WHAT Freud would say!

Wraugh! The priceless Jeweled Egg of Kalamazoo is mine! That caped crusader will never stop me now! Wak, wak, wak!

I'm seeing . . . I'm seeing . . . DEATH in your future, if you don't get OUT of my office!

Fortune teller crystal ball: "Superman is still alive..."

It's telling me that I am going to see a bald man in my future...

James

Lex: Behold, the new Lexbulb 2000. It gives off light while requiring no electricity. One-of-a-kind. It even lit my cigar for me. Can you say (evil) genius?

Aaargh! I hate having to decide this. They're all good , so... eeny, meeny, miny, moe...

James! Your go.

Anyone feel like posting a pic?

Ok, I feel like posting a pic!

[img]http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh62/jlo-pb/Seconds68.jpg?t=1200490723[/img]

Look Mom, I'm just don't think that the 'underpants on the outside' thing was such a good idea.

Anyone else?

I can't see da picture.... I clicked on "show picture" n'pasted the properties to the address thingy, n'everything

Try the properties thingy again, cos I deleted it.

Try here: http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh62/jlo-pb/Seconds68.jpg

Can you can see it now?

I can see it fine! Hmmm...

And now she's pregnant, and they're cancelling the show, and I'll never get to wear blue spandex again!

I swear if I have to listen to one more Elvis story I'm gonna pop a vein!

Frustrated Clark: All I'm saying is that Lois shouldn't haven given me a wedgy in the middle of the newsroom! When my pants ripped, I had to come up with an explanation for my red spandex underwear fast!

YEP!! Thanks!

my caption is...

"...so then I just grabbed her backside; I know you taught me better but, dang it Mom, Lois has BACK!!"

Clark: "I don't get it, Mom. One moment I was with Lois at the campsite, the next I'm tied up in a closet and I can't break free. I didn't have any powers but I wasn't in pain either. I yelled for help, and this lady ended up opening the door, then she fainted. She ended up taking a shower, and while I waited, I found a notebook that was a narrative of my life. She had this pen that somehow could cause what was written to happen, before I finally got back home, she'd caused me to kiss her and even touched the S symbol. It was the weirdest thing."

I'm not choosing a winner - whoever gets in first can post the next pic.

Let me just say that I love this folder, and the reason why I so rarely participate is that I don't know where to find any good LnC pictures to post! Where do the rest of you find yours?

The latest captions were all funny, as usual. My favorites were Cheeseofthemonth and Woody. It was so funny, and somehow melancholy, that Clark would go home to his parents and complain that they were cancelling the show and he'd never get to wear his blue spandex again! And to think that they cancelled the show because Teri was pregnant, right after they had told us that Lois and Clark couldn't have children! I can hear Tempus somehow, telling us that he loves irony...

And Woody, that reference to Clark in Sue's closet, and the story that DJ wrote for her when she was ill, was just great! Ah, Sue, where are you now?

Ann

Most pictures are off of loisandclarkarchive.com, which has screenshots organized into season and episode for the entire series. Then we usually transfer those to a picture hosting site, and link them. but that website is where we get them.

Me again.



Whatcha got?

Aw, all of the above captions sound like fics I'd want to read!

Hrm...


Lex: Asabi? When I told you that I wanted Bush in my possession, this is *not* what I meant!

--------------

Lex: Someone's been handling my bush again.

Asabi: ...Sir?

Lex: I'm a very private person, Asabi. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people messing around in my bush.

Asabi: ...I'll keep that in mind, sir.

Lex: You do that. Now go; Miss Cox needs help with her package.

Asabi: ...

Lex: Asabi?

Asabi: I think I'd like to resign, sir.

Besides the little itsy-bitsy voice (which has seen The Karate Kid series one too many times) in the back of my head wanting to yell at you, "It's a bonsai TREE!" that is frickin' hilarious, QoC! Seriously, here.

Even though I think QoC should definitely win for her captions, I figured I'd give it a shot this time (haven't done any of these in a while, so can't guarantee anything good will come out of my fingertips):

Lex: What a time to give up smoking. These tiny scissors aren't doing anything. Asabi, where are my cigar clippers?

Lex: Asabi, I do not pay you to ask questions. I pay you to bring me teeny, tiny squirrels!!!

-----------------------------

ETA: Thanks! DS, I know it is a tree, but calling it a bush made for better puns. *g* Or of course, you could go with this:


Lex: Asabi, take this to England and deliver it to the Knights who say Ni. Maybe then they'll finally hand over that infernal grail I've been wanting...


------------------
Edited Again To Add
By the way, that one joke was pretty much stolen .

Lex: And thus ends today's lesson in the care and maintenance of bonsai topiaries. Same time tomorrow, Asabi.

Asabi (thinks): Where'd he leave that clay pigeon shotgun...

Lex: Asabi, did you know that the clippings of bonsai leaves make the most exclusive salad in the world?

Asabi (thinking): And, unlike other 'exclusive food', this might even taste acceptable.

-------------

Lex: If only I could make it bear kryptonite leaves... I could feed the salad made from them to Lois, and when Superman comes to her rescue again... then bye, bye, Supes.

Asabi: But what about Miss Lane?

Lex: Of course, I could always feed it to Mrs. Cox and make her jump from somewhere high up. Yes, I think I like that plan better.

Asabi:Damn,that's one big broccoli,boss.

teeny squirrels!!! LOL!! QOC, you just about make me pee my pants.../me wipes tears away....


Lex: Asabi, you know I like my broccoli shaped like a bunny before I eat it.

Lex: Now, if I can just catch one of these teeny, tiny squirrels with my tweezers here, I'll have some protein to go in my 'World's Most Exclusive Salad'.

Oh, yes, they'll be wanting that shrubbery.

Lex to Asabi: Yes, I remember Miyagi-san. I had him eliminated when I found out his training program was just a way for him to get me to do work for free.

Lex: The doctor was right when he suggested I take up gardening for stress relief. Torturing innocent, defenseless beings is always so relaxing, I can feel my blood pressure dropping already.

I wonder if Mrs Cox will acquiesce to a little foot binding this afternoon...

Love that one, TEJ!

HILARIOUS!!!!

wax on wax off...
Carol

I'm declaring QoC the winner! You're up next Mary.

Eep! Thanks!

Now i have to find a picture...

Okay, this one speaks to me:

Perry: Is it a dirt stain, or an oil-based stain?

Jimmy: I don't know, Chief. It's a bomb stain.

Perry: Ok right. So, um... bio or non-bio?

"Hey, Chief, what's in the box?"

"It's a present. From Alice. We're still trying to patch up the relationship. She thought it might be interesting to... uhm... spice things up. I'm supposed to open this box now, just before heading home for the night. It's a surprise costume. I bet it's my Elvis duds. Yeah, this looks like a cape, and... wait a sec..."

"Chief? Since when was Elvis's cape red?"

"Uh... yeah..." *Keeps rummaging* "Spandex? And... oh lord. Briefs... Excuse me, Jimmy. I think I need to call Alice..."

Five yards of spandex at $6 per yard: $30
Five-and-a-half yards red silk: $76.95
Yellow belt with yellow buckle: $12.99
Red Briefs: $7.99
Red Leather, knee-high, flat-heel boots: $149.99

The look on your boss's face when he opens your gag gift on his birthday: Priceless

Perry: This stitching is exquisite, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Thanks Chief. We learned whipped spider wheels and butterfly chains in my embroidery class last night. Pretty cool, huh.

Perry: You're just going to meet girls, right son?

Jimmy: ...er, yeah, sure Chief.

Perry: "Jimmy, enough talk. This is a job for Super-You."

Jimmy: "Super-Me?"

Perry: "Yes, Super-You. Just put on this cape and find out if the powers come with it."

Jimmy: "How do I know if I got the powers?"

Perry: "Start with something simple - like jumping out of the window. [Pause] Gosh, I need some quiet."

SNORT!!!!

That was a riot!!!!

James

Jimmy: Check it out, Chief.



Perry: No wonder he lets people assume he's an orphan...

*snarfk* gr8tshades, LMAO!

Perry: Now look at this Jimmy this is the new set of curtains for my bedroom window...

Jimmy: Curtains Chief? Are you sure Superman doesn't mind you using his capes as window decoration?

This was a *VERY* tough call that nearly ended in a tie! You guys are hilarious!

After much pondering, I'm going to pick:


Cheese! You're up!

Me? Yippee!

Lois: yes they're real...and they're FABULOUS!!

Lois : Clark Sweetie, what you think of these cotten candies.
Clark: Lois, they look good enough to eat, I uh they look great hun.

TEEEJ Love your quote too! Glad I don't have to pick the winner!

Great pic Cheese!

Lois: Seriously, Clark. You Superman? Puh-lease! Next you'll be telling me Perry's behind me in a wig and a dress!

--- --- ---

Also, anyone remember this post: http://www.lcficmbs.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=10;t=001888

So...

Breast Clouds over Metropolis.

Lois: Seriously, Clark, some brat squirted me with water and then stuck these to me. I can't get them off. Please, help!

Clark: (in his head) Lick them off or simply get most of them off and then rub vigorously...Decisions, decisions...

(out loud): Here or at home?

James

"Clark, admit it. This story is a bust. There's no way bra padding, no matter how faulty, is just going to explode into a big cottony cloud."

"Uh, Lois? You might want to rethink that position..."

----

"Chief, take a look at this picture from the street fair. Do you think the guys in the shop overdid it on the airbrushing?"

----

"Listen, Clark... I know we're not exactly bosom buddies, but there's something I just have to get off of my chest... What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

----

"Yeah, I know. First line dancing, now this. I really ought to stop listening to my friends when they tell me they have a great way to meet guys..."

Lois is trying to convince Clark that a Superbowl appearance on her part isn't too farfetched.

Really liked the ones so far

Still, I thought I'd chime in with something:

Lois: Now Clark, don't be such a prude.
You'll have to agree that these will just make the perfect undercover outfit as one of the Sexy Snowflake Girls.

Lois: Now now Clark I know that you look cute in black chiffon, but I really don't think Perry is back behind that stall Jimmy is guarding masquarading as a cross-dressing fortune teller wearing fake bosoms and Alice's Sunday best!

I think... Teeej can post the next pic.

Whoot!! I knew I'd get to use that Seinfeld reference one of these days.

Okay here you go!

Clark: Lois put that file down remember the giant butterfly named Fred Star was talking about? Well he's heading right this way!
Lois: Sure Honey whatever you say.

Clark (whispering): Lois, honey, you need to put that down.

Lois (annoyed): Why. Bureau 39 may have the proof I need to prove to you I was right.

Clark: You were right.

Lois: About time you realized that. (pausing) Why did you change your mind?

Clark: The remote camera in the pumpkin patch has picked up something. The Great Pumpkin does exist!
James

Clark: Doot-da-doot-da-doo. *Thinking* I wonder if Lois will think I touched her boob accidentally if I'm not looking at her.

Lois: *Thinking* God, he is such a horny little...halfwit! How dense does he think I am?!

Clark: This? Legal? You know, Lois, if I listen real close I'm pretty sure I can hear the sound of the ice starting to form as Hell freezes over...

--- --- ---

Clark: Lois, I suddenly remembered that my mother's sister's poodle needs another haircut, so I have to leave you in the middle of our investigation with your thumb in your ear but I'm sure you understand.

Lois: Whatever.

Lois: How do they look?

Clark: Lois, maybe going to a second-rate place for a breast enhancement wasn't such a good idea...

That's actually for the one with cotton candy.

Although somehow it could work for both.

Okay, I'm picking.

The close runner up was Woody, for capping two pictures and having the signature about time travel conundrums, BUT the one that amused/appealed to me most was ....

STEPH!!! 'cause if there's any kind of Clark I like, it's the grope-y horndog Clark.

Take it STEPH!!!!!!

TEEEEEJ

Oops. I hadn't even noticed that I won. Okay.. I've never done this so let me see if I do this right. I might need help...

Yup. I do. Where's a good place to find stills and do I just upload it to photobucket or copy and paste?

Steph! I sent you a PM for caption pic link.

TEEEEEEEJ

[img] [IMG]http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w289/stephnachia/Contact49.jpg [/img][/IMG]

Hope this works! It's my first time posting.

Edit: Kay, I suck. It's not showing up. Maybe just the link will work?

http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w289/stephnachia/Contact49.jpg

Lois: I know I said I love flying, Clark, but I think I'm a little big to be tossed in the air like a little kid. Especially with how high you can toss.

Clark: And the bomb is armed if the bus goes over 50? Come on Lois, that's pretty far fetched - even for your over-active imagination.

Lois: Just shut up and get me DOWN!

gr8shades, I already loved your

but a Speed reference - you rock! (And a good reminder, too, I really should watch that film again some time ...)

Unfortunately, I am not that creative so I'll just have to go back lusting over Keanu

(Okay, actually I have to go back to getting ready for my exam today but a girl can dream, right?)

Aah, Speed. Happy teenage memories. (still talking about the movie here)

Good luck with your exam Eva.

Lois: Look Clark, I know Superman needs to practise his Swing number for Dancing with the Stars, but this is hardly the time or place!

Lois: That's IT, Clark! One more nasty comment about my new hairdo and I'm gonna strangle you!

Crappola! This is hard! I loved all of them. But... I'm gonna have to give it to Cheese cause I can just picture Superman on Dancing with the Stars.

Great quotes from everyone!

That was quick! Me? Whoopee!

Ok, how about this one...

Clark (thinking): Oof! And she thinks I wear ugly ties!

------------

Clark: Lois, you're not really gonna wear that thing in public, are you? It's hideous!

Lois: Never stopped you.

Clark thinking: I warned her the french onion soup would give her bad breath and heartburn, but does she listen....?

Lois in a choking fashion: Clark! One...of...your...ties...is..att..acking...me!

Clark:I tried to tell you. They have a sensitive nature. It was bound to happen one of these days.

James

Lois: ...and the woggle went around the scarf about here, and I had to sew my merit badges...

Clark (thinking): Ooh, girl scout Lois. HOT!

Lois: Clark, are you even listening?

Clark: Huh?

-----------------

Lois: Clark, can you help me with this thing, please.

Clark: Sure, hon'. It's 'fatty over thinny, fatty round again, fatty through the keyhole, fatty down the drain'.

Lois: Clark, I'm not five.

Lois: Geez ya know Clark I don't mind playing this concubine thing in the bedroom but I don't get why I gotta wear the leash in the car.

Clark: Huuussssh! and don't forget it's Benevolent Overlord Kal El....

Lois: Ack, this is tight.

Clark: How dare she? She took my precious spotted leopard tie that was given to me by the Czarena of Tokyo.

Lois: Can't breathe... getting... weaker... Tempus... must have... gone back... exposed my... younger self... to... ultranite...

Clark: Uh, Lois? You were only Ultra Woman for, like, two days. It doesn't work that way. And there's no such thing as "ultranite."

Lois: Clark... ... *sigh* Fine... It's ragweed... Happy? ... Can't you... at least... let me have... some fun... with my... allergies?

Clark: Sorry. "Ultranite" it is.

Gr8shades!!!! That tie "poem"! That tie comic strip!!!!

Ann

okay, this is hilarious. Great idea.

Also love Lois's deadpanning in this:

gr8shades, you're so right: that definitely never stopped him

The tie-tying picture is also great.

Eva

Well done everyone.

I'm going with gr8shades today because she came up with four caps, used the word 'woggle', cheated with a pic of her own and is currently suffering through opera!

Go girl!

Hey CheeseOfTheMonth, just wanted to say: great quote in your signature

I knew the woggle thing would clinch it!

Ok, I've decided on this...



Bernie (thinking): She's 25, she's gorgeous, and she thinks I'm a god. I'm middle aged and saggy, I've lost most of my hair and I wear bow ties for heaven's sake. What on earth does she see in me? Ok, sure I'm incredibly intelligent, I ride a motor cycle and I'm suave and debonair in a Burt Reynolds kind of way, and did I remember to turn that bunsen burner off before I came over here...

Perry: Explosion at STAR Labs!

Bernie: Apparently not.

Klein: See, I've invented a new kind of defensive tool. It's like a blowdart tube, but smaller. A slight puff from the user is multiplied by the micro Flux Injectors and POW! Down goes...what, Clark? Oh dear, sorry Lois.


_____________


Klein burping: What, oh, sorry. I {burp} always have that reaction {burp} to pasta. I ate at {burp} Ralph's Pagoda for lunch.

_____________


Klein: Yes, when you blow thusly, the sound of the Amazonian Nightengale is easily reproduced.


_____________

Klein: Wow, Lois! What died in here? {Looks over his right shoulder} Oh, that poor thing. What did you do to that poor plant? The stench is awful! {looking eurpy} Where is the bathroom?!

James

Plant: *gasp* What the...? Urgh, fumes... can't breathe... somebody... help... meee... aaarrrgh... errrrgghh... oooohh... ugh...

Dr Klein: Oh God, I've killed her plant. I knew that beaker of brandy tasted a little off this morning. Note to self: be more careful with your chemicals.


----------------

Dr Klein: Sober Physicists Don't Find Giraffes Hiding In Kitchens. Sober Physicists Don't Find Giraffes Hiding In... Oh, what's the point of a mnemonic device if you can't remember what it's for?!*


*The order of atomic orbitals (s,p,d,f,g,h,i,k). After K, they're alphabetical. (If anyone cares)

What nobody knows about Dr. Klein was that he was actually born Charlie Brown. Here I'll prove it.

Klein thinking: Omg! The little red haired girl is RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!!!

Klein: Oh, dear. How do I tell Lois and Clark this news? Those compatibility tests certainly didn't come back the way I expected.

Lois walks in.

Lois: Hey Bernard. What's the matter?

Klein: Oh Lois. I got the test results.

Lois: Really? We're not compatible are we? I just hoped...

Klein: No, that's not it. The problem is, the tests show that when you get pregnant...

Lois (thinking): When I...YES!

Klein: You'll have a minimum of quadruplets.

Lois: THUD

"Since the Abs-in-a-Bottle aren't working, I better try this new technique I learned from Pop-eye."

_______


"Every time I come to the newsroom I get so nervous. I mean, it is a four-star target for bogeymen and baddies alike."

________

"So then she said, 'But could you package your shrinking potion in a shampoo?' and I said, "Not a problem...

"You have to understand, Lois, I was drunk enough that she was drop-dead gorgeous and she was talking naughty science with me."

Clark: Dr. Klein, can you keep a secret?

Bernie: Well, to tell you the truth, probably not, but I'll do my best...

Clark: ... Good enough. Better than I'd get out of any of the people around here. Reporters are so focused on inside information that no secret is really safe.

Bernie: Yeah, I see how that would be. We have kind of the same thing at STAR Labs. But what is it you wanted to tell me?

Clark: *looks around, to make sure there's no one listening in* I'm...

Bernie: Yes...?

Clark: Going to propose to Lois!

Bernie: Uhm, Clark, I don't know how to tell you this. As a doctor, I probably shouldn't. But as your friend, I think you need to know...

Clark: Uh-oh. This doesn't sound good...

Bernie: Yeah. Uhm... Hoo boy... Clark, I've been asked to do some confidential testing. To see if... To see if Superman and a woman I'm pretty sure is Lois Lane are... biologically compatible. I'm sorry. But I can't in good conscience allow you to go on with these plans without knowing that...

Clark: Wow. You're right...

Bernie: *sigh* Yeah, I...

Clark: You really can't keep a secret.

Good job everyone.

I loved Lois: THUD

and

'But could you package your shrinking potion in a shampoo?' and I said, "Not a problem... in particular,

but I'm picking Hatman as the winner.

Take it away Paul.

Thanks for the compliment, gr8shades.<br

Didn't you post a pic here earlier, Paul? Where'd it go??

Probably swallowed by that glitch we had this morning. No problem. I can repost:

Just a note--whoever posted their baddie captions earlier needs to repost.


______


"So you can see that the weight of the skull acts as a natural pendulum, aligning the atlas bone and the axis bone until the entire spine is aligned.... Hello? Hel-lo-oh! Darn! He passed out, too."


________


"Hold me a little lower, Supes. I can almost reach where I dropped my car keys."


________


"It was just a mistake! I swear it! I heard him wrong--that's all. You know how that Data guy slurs his speech when he gets tired. Anyway, I thought we were SUPPOSED to write a cross-dressing fic. Cross-dressing, crossover--the words were so much alike. But I promise it'll never happen again."


________


"And if I ever catch you miming without a street vendor license again, I'll do more than just put you in an invisible box."


________


"Wow! I can see my house from here."


Elisabeth
who was doubly inspired since the guy hanging upsidedown looks so much like my kid brother

Superman: Sorry, pal, but nobody steals ties from my friend Clark Kent. Now, are you going to take that thing off and return it to the Daily Planet Men's Locker Room or do I start demonstrating the effects of gravity to you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superman rather woodenly: Yes, Mr. Mazik. I will give your brother a swirly, in Hobb's Bay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superman: Dang, this is the third mannequin falling from the air in the last few minutes. What the heck is going on?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look, Ma. And I'm doing it on one foot! Now, watch me hopping."


________


"Did you think I was talking about YOUR mother? Nah... I'm sure she's just swell. What I meant to say was..."

Elisabeth
who can't help herself since this pic is so darn great

Guy: C'mon Superman, swing me faster. We've got to master this gymnastics routine. ...and release.

Superman: Whoops. I don't think he wanted to go that far. Better go catch him.

____________________________

Aw, come on, Superman. It's not against the law to walk around on your hands.

Mine got swallowed. Ratty old board

Baddie: Ok, ok, you win! I give! Just put me down.

Superman: Well?

Baddie: Back left pants pocket.

Superman: Don't let it happen again.

Baddie: Trust me, Superman. That's the last time I borrow money from you and forget to give it back.

--------------

Superman: Did you post the new caption game pic yet?

Hatman: No sir, not yet, but I'm on it. Any minute now.

Superman: Any minute isn't good enough. What are you waiting for?

Hatman: Well, it's kinda difficult when you're being dangled upside down.

Superman: Oh right. Sorry. Say, does the Hat come with any special powers?

Superman gives a local politician a demonstration of how taxpayers feel on April 15th.

public servants my hinder.....

TEEEEEEEJ

Too funny! (BTW, I just spent the day doing the family taxes. Need a new(er) car, so I needed to know what the budget would be.)

Elisabeth

Okay, I'm going to have to give this one to Elisabeth. You just had too much fun with it. Great job!

Yeah! I really did have fun. Besides, he really does look like my brother and I really do wish I had tried that with him once or twice--even if he did end up going

I'll have to do a search. I'll try to post a pic tonight. (Maybe I'll even steal one from my dearly beloved, since he seems to enjoy collecting stupid pics).

Elisabeth

Hey, I faintly resemble that remark... :p

And yes, I have about 3.5 pics available if you want them.
James

What's the .5 pic? A cropped one?

It's not that there is .5 of a shot; it's that there are 1.5 shots. (That means two pics that James wants to call one using the new math.)

My apologies for the long delay. I've been lobbying my state Congress in the evenings lately, and having been hanging out on the boards as often. (Which is a polite way of saying that I spaced it.)

Anyway, how does this look?

ok, I know I don't have a shot at winning..."You know there is no way I am going to let you win this one, right?"

But I just can't help myself.

Lois: Ok, Kalvin, open for Mommy. Open...OPEN for Mommy. Yes, like this. Open for Mommy.

James

The results of a Kyprtonian Super Glue Experiment which left Lois Lane unable to close her mouth and unable to remove her fingers from her chin.

OMG, Clark is a narcoleptic arachnophobic paleolithic cross-dressing insomniac who works as a ultra secret undercover agent for the IRS! How could I have been so blind?

Lois and Clark play the less fun version of 'counting cavities'.

______________________

Clark: Say 'aah'.

Lois: Aaaaaaaah.

Clark: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

______________________

Lois: Someone posted a new nfic on the message boards??? Please excuse me while I rehinge my jaw.

______________________

Lois demonstrates the jawdrop smilie.

Lois: I learnt this in my facial yoga class yesterday. It's called the 'Oh god, I think I've left the iron on' pose. The most important thing is to remember to breathe while you're doubled over laughing...

Arthur Chow (OS): You know, Lex, it's really hard to find a birthday gift for you. I mean, talk about "the man who has everything...!" So I went out of my way to find something really special and unique. Presenting... the world's largest and most lifelike Pez dispenser!

Clark: OK. Ok. I get it. I'm not the world's best ventriloquest.
Lois: Read my lips.

Lois: Clark that new suit is jaw dropping!

Lois thinking: Geeez, when Clark chucks me under the chin, he really puts a lot of effort into it.

TEEEEEEEEJ

I won't be home tomorrow or Friday, so I better declare a winner now. Honorable mentions go to Woody and lisime. (My dad used to spin off meaningless prattle like that, Woody. His favorite was, "It was intuitively obvious to even the most blatant of observers.")

The winner for this round is Hatman. Pez dispenser, indeed. I can imagine the candies cost a pretty penny.

Elisabeth
who is off to view the moon

Glad you liked, Elisabeth.

Time for a new pic, huh?

Back over to followtomorrow.net for me!

Let's see... How about this one?

Lois: ...SupermanSupermanSupermanSupermanSupermanSuperman...

Perry (thinking): I hope she doesn't expect me to respond to any of this. I assumed my 'interested editor' pose and stopped listening five minutes ago.

Lois: ...SupermanSupermanSupermanSupermanSupermanSuperman...

Clark: For the love of God! MAKE IT STOP!

Lois:I think me and Clark hit a rut in our love life Perry, do you have any tips on how to spice things up? What do you and Alice do to keep it alive?

Clark: I'm not listening! LALALALALALA!

No captions come to mind, but I think it would be a perfect 'what's different' game picture.

James

I'm also finding this one hard. Weird how sometimes you just got nothin'!

Well, ok, so I have another one...


Lois: Ok, now pay attention, Chief. The actions go a little something like this...

(sings): When I dance they call me macarena
and the boys they say that I´m bue-na
they all want me,
they can´t have me
So they all come and dance beside me
move with me
jam with me
and if you're good i take you home with me!
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena
Eeeh, macarena!

(and if that means nothing to you, count yourself lucky!)

If you do a search on What is Different in this forum, you will find what I am talking about.

James

Ah, 'spot the difference' to me. Thought as much. Thanks.

If I can borrow an idea from a very old Muppet Show episode...

Lois: So the whole thing with Miranda was a bust. Yes, she did create a custom pheremone, but it turns out that it only affects very wimpy nerds. Turns them into raving mad lunatics. I figure, no harm; no foul.

Clark: Waaahaaahaaahaaa! Wo-man! Aaahaaa! Dee-ba-dee-ba-dee-ba, that's all, folcs!

Perry: Lois, we need you out there. Only five more hours and The Planet will have secured the Guinness record for the longest karaoke party. Unfortunately with the flu epidemic going around, we haven't had enough people to take the night shift.

Lois: I wish I could help, but I need to go on a stakeout tonight. Besides, Ralph's doing just fine without me. Have you heard his Mariah Carey?

Clark: Owwww! I have.

Lois: ...so they said it was something about kryptonite laced helium makes the squeaky voice thing last longer but I haven't noticed a difference Chief, have you?

TEEEEEEEJ

Lois: He spends half his time pulling his glasses down his nose like he's about to xray something or shoot laser beams from his eyes, and now he's pretending his 'superhearing' is all out of whack because of some high-pitched mosquito noise that only he can hear. I'm not stupid, Perry. In fact, it's intuitively obvious to even the most blatant of observers... Clark's making fun of my crush on Superman!

(Hope you don't mind me borrowing your dad's line, Elisabeth. )

Don't mind at all. That was so funny it had me snorting and smacking my chair. (I'm sure my two-year-old thinks I'm injured.)

Elisabeth

lol, that's hilarious

Btw, I also love Elisabeth's dad's line. I am eagerly awaiting an opportunity to use it in my everyday life

Clark: Argh! Why can't Lois and Perry just SHUT UP for once?

Ok, I have one, thank you my beloved, for the prompt.


Clark:And the answer is, Tootsie-roll pops, Lemon drops, and cough drops.


Lois:See Perry, ever since Clark got the entire Johnny Carson series on VHS, he's been pulling stunts like this.

Perry:True, but what is the question for the answer of Tootsie-roll pops, Lemon drops, and cough drops?

Clark:What are two things you suck and one thing you bite to get to the center of.

Get your minds out of the gutter! It wasn't that kind of a prompt! I just said something about the Great Carnac--that's all.

Great job, guys! Some really fun ones here! Close call, but I think I'm going to have to go with CheeseOfTheMonth. Well done! You're up!

Ack! You mean I've had Macarena stuck in my head for the last 3 days for NOTHING?!

Thanks Paul!

Ok, what about this...

Lois: It's just Ugly Naked Guy doing the Macarena.

__________________

Clark: Honeymoon suite, large bed, video camera-

Lois: Keep dreaming, Farmboy!

__________________

Lois: You and me. This isn't working out.

Clark: Are you saying we should start annoying other people?

Do I get points for shameless sucking up?

Gr8Shades:

TOO FUNNY!!!!

Lois: (thinking) Wow. Clark looks great in that Tshirt. Mmmmm, he looked even better in that towel. Too bad I don't have x-ray vision. Good thing he's busy looking across the street so he won't notice I'm ogling.

Eh, okay, it's my first shot. Go with it .
Carol

What? So I'm supposed to reward you for putting it in my head? :p

(Seriously, it was a good caption. Like I said, tough call...)

Moving on...

---

Lois: Spying on the Ms. America pageant contestants' hotel rooms? Is this really news, Clark?

Clark: Uhm... It could be. You... uh... never know when a dirty politician might show up. Or when one of the girls will try to rig the contest. It may come to nothing, but I think it's deserving of close attention. Very close attention. You... uh... never know what you... might... uhm... *gulp* ... miss seeing...

Lois: Hey, you're right! I think I see a peeping tom!

Clark: What? Well, see? That's news. Someone spying on them? That could really be a story. Who is it? Where is...?

Lois: *glare*

Clark: Oh.

----

Lois: Clark, you've got the curtains closed. How are we supposed to see anything? How are we going to get any pictures? And what are you looking at?

Clark, thinking: Oh, crap. Was I using X-ray vision? It's so easy to look right through that I forget everyone else can't.

Clark, out loud: Yeah, uh... I was just trying to... calibrate the white balance on the camera. That's it. And... can you believe how dusty these drapes are? We really should complain to the front desk...

Lois: Seriously, Clark, we need a longer lens. We just will not get the fine details with this thing.

Clark, seeing just fine with his eyes: Really? Just how fine a detail do you need, anyway?

Lois: I want to be able to see the senator's mouth twitch when he is lying....

James

Seriously, Clark. Have you gone nuts? All the equipment in the world won't turn you into Jimmy Olsen. You're still just a photojournalist wannabe.

Lois: If you say 'it's not the size of the lens, it's how you use it', I'm gonna punch you, Clark.

TEEEEEJ

"What are you doing, Clark?"

"Setting up to take a picture of Superman."

"Superman? He's here?"

"Not now. But he'll fly by later today. And when he does, this sensor will trigger the camera to take the picture."

"How do you know?"

"Sorry, Lois. It's a trade secret I picked up from Peter Parker. I promised never to tell."

Don't worry, I won't pick me, but following on from my previous effort:

Lois: For God's sake Clark, stop fiddling with your glasses! The 'I'm Superman' joke just isn't funny any more!

Teri: Hey, RadioShack gave me this stuff for free, so I'll thank you to keep your opinions on my flagging career to yourself, Mr Ripley's-Believe-It-or-Not!

Too funny, Gr8shades.

Ok, I'm picking. This...

...made me go , so take it away gr8shades!

Thanks, Cheesy!

How about this one.

[img]http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh62/jlo-pb/DeadLoisWalking209.jpg?t=1204037695[/img]

Lois: I spy with my little eye, something beginning with... R.

_______________

Clark: Awards season's over Lois, so enough already with the My Left Foot impressions.

Lois: 1 bottle of beer on wall, 1 bottle of beer. Take 1 down, pass it around, no bottles of beer on the wall! *pause* 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down...

Clark: *thinking* Must not use heat vision...

Deleted

James

Clark: Seatbelt, Lois.

Lois: Yes, Dad!

_________________

Lois: The Cozy Motel. Sounds nice. Let's stop here...

Clark: Great scott! That tanker truck jackknifed and spilled chocolate pudding all over the road! That's going to cause all sorts of accidents!

Lois: And it's in the rain, too. What a waste of chocolate. ... I mean, I wonder where Superman is. *looks up* Usually, he'd be here by now...

Lois: Are we there yet?

______________

Lois: Clark, I've had enough. I just can't live like this any more.

Clark: Ok, hon', we'll go shopping for a new bed in the morning.

Lois: Daddy is an expert on robotics. He'll be able to get my head screwed on right.

~*~

Lois: Then, Barbie told Ken...

Clark, grumbling: I get it, Lois. I'm sorry for calling you childish earlier. Obviously, I didn't know what childish behavior really looked like.

Lois: Clark, what's large, glowy and looks remarkably like a UFO?

Clark: Oh, Lois, quit exaggerating. That thing is obviously a scout ship...

James

"Clark? There's a hole in the roof. And I don't mean a sunroof."

"Right now, Lois, I'm more concerned about the smoke coming out of the hood."

"Okay, that's it. This is the last time I rent from that place."

"Why did you...?"

"I figured if he was that bad at Chinese food, he had to be good at something..."

"But... Ralph's Carriage House?"

Clark: We have a deal with the pigeons, not the squirrels!

Lois: WOW, I didn't know intestines would splatter that far.

TEEEEEEJ
(who has watched TOO TOO MANY Seinfeld episodes)

Oh, decisions decisions. In the end I decided on

It just tickled me.

Back to you Elisabeth.

Squeeee!

Okay, I hope y'all enjoy this one.


Elisabeth

Clark: Hand me the scissors quick, Jimmy. Before she comes out of her trance. I'm gonna fix this hairstyle once and for all!

______________

Clark: Ok, Lois. Close your eyes and concentrate. It's M, Y, X, erm... Crap!

(says me too, who can't think how to spell it either!)

Clark:Ok, Lois, you almost got it this that time. Now, go to your happy place...


----------

Clark: Now, here is the best thing about x-ray vision. The speck in your eye is just about out. Blink a few more times and it should be out.

----------

Clark: Telepathy is really easy, just close your eyes, and focus on communicating with me.

Lois:*yeah, now that I have my eye's closed, I don't see your tie and I can focus.*

Clark: Hey, I heard you....HEY!!!!


----------

Clark:Lois, I know that you are trying to get into the role, but really, I don't think you can do the mannequin pose for five hours.


----------


Clark: And for my next amazing feat, I will pull a gold coin from this woman's ear.

<Australian accent> "Now, this isn't your ordinary sheila. This here is a rare North American Intrepid Investigative Reporter. She may look like she's asleep right now, but, crikey! She could strike at any moment! It doesn't matter how invulnerable you think you are. You have to use real caution when approaching her. But if you stay focused and move in ever so slowly, you just might get the chance of a lifetime..."

Clark: Now Lois I want you to close your eyes and imagine that you are in a quiet place. The sea is calm and the sun is shining brightly and... (Clark sprints off to save the day)

Clark: Picture in your mind's eye a white beach, gentle surf, clear blue skies caressed by graceful clouds. The perfume of lush orchids wafts over you on sultry breezes. The songs of chimps afire with the mating urge...

Lois: Huh?

Clark: Yeah, didn't work for me either.

Clark: The urge to shop is leaving, leaving your mind, floating away on a happy cloud.....

TEEEEEEJ

That was an awesome caption!

Kudos to gr8shades and Mr. D8a for coming up with top-notch captions within ten minutes of my posting the pic. I enjoyed the scissors, as well as the telepathy. Shimauma's hypnosis was pretty darn funny, as well.

The top monkey for this round, though, is Hatman. Indeed, this is no ordinary sheila. Your cyberbananas will be arriving shortly.


Elisabeth

yeah, these ties truly are distracting. Great caption.

Gr8shades, I also loved your haircut caption

Me? Really? With that competition? Thanks!

Okay then, time for a new pic...

Superman is not impressed that City Hall has recently employed him to pick up rabbit droppings.

"Brown M&M's? You're giving me brown M&M's??! How many times do I have to tell you people? Superman doesn't do brown M&M's!"

...thus with the Great Nuthoarding SquirrelGang no longer a threat, Metropolis was free to bake nut filled treats to their hearts content, thanks to Superman...

dup!

Superman: Ok, Mazic, I've pulled out all my teeth and bronzed them. HAPPY?

James

ok, I can explain that...We used to watch a show that had an Australian in it and one of his favorite sayings had 'sheila' in it.

James

Superman: Dr Klein, my web-shooters seem to be malfunctioning.

Klein: That's Spiderman, Clark. You don't have web-shooters.

Superman: Then what the hell is this?

Klein: I don't even want to know.

Actually, I just picked Hatman's because I liked it.

So here's a walk on the wiley side:

Green kryptonite takes away my powers and can even kill me. Red kryptonite makes me indifferent. Copper kryptonite just ticks me off. Don't make me angry; you don't want to see me angry.


Elisabeth

Rabbit droppings, Superman getting hissy over candy, bronzed teeth (which really do fit his strange facial expression), gangs of nut-hoarding squirrels, web-shooters, strange new types of kryptonite... ARGH! I can't decide!!

Uhm...

(Oh, yeah... Great job, guys!)

Right... uhm...

Wait a sec. 6 options... I got it!

Random Dice Roll!!

Okay, the die came back with a 2. Gr8shades, you're up!

Funny Paul! I dreamt this morning that I won this and I was like, how could I possibly beat the rabbit poo and the bronzed teeth???

Now I know!

Ok, here's the next one.

[img]http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh62/jlo-pb/Ghosts631.jpg?t=1204720672[/img]

Clark: Hehe, that Jughead really cracks me up.

Lois (thinking): I've married an idiot.

lol! Nice one, CotM!

Let's see...

"This comic is great! Thank goodness for Murray Brown! Look! Here's where Superman saves an entire building full of people on his way to get his morning cup of coffee. And here's where he takes a second away from his breakfast to stop a bank robbery! And then, on this page, he zips over to a third world country to dig a well and teach kids how to read. And then he zips back to Metropolis just in time to save some reporter who's been kidnapped again. And on the next page, we see her longing glance as he flies off into the distance. And then he stops a train from derailing and..."

Clark: Come on Lois, The Little Engine That Could, your favorite!!!

Lois: I don't want a story!


*****
or for you horndogs out there

Clark: Come one Lois, you know you wrote this Penthouse letter, how many other wives have husbands who "float"?


TEEEEEEEEJ

Clark reading restaurant reviews:...where the mood lighting really *gets* you in the mood *giggle*

Lois: Please God take me now!!!

Lois: I should never have let you persuade me to order from Ralph's Pagoda *again* ...

Clark: But Lois, we only need three more tokens and they'll give us that little bamboo brush. Wait, I'll show you ...

Lois: Why do they call it "morning sickness" when it lasts all day long?

Clark: Only eight more months. That's thirty-two more weeks or, if you prefer, two hundred twenty-four more days... Give or take. You could go short by fourteen days or so. On the other hand, you could go long. But you're never late so I wouldn't worry about it.

Lois: My stomach is gurgling again.

Clark: What do you think about the name Adam? How about Albert? I'm not fond of Alonzo.

Lois: Make WAY!

Lois: Oh my tummy, I should have listened to you Clark and not have substituted chocolate sauce in place of the beshamel for tonights lasagne

Clark: Well Honey, I won't say 'I told you so' but...

Lois: Can it Clark I'm not in the mood

Caption No. 2

Lois: I should have known better than to accompany Lucy on a 'Death By Chocolate' evening. One lesson learned: 'Do not under any circumstance mix chocolate and pizza together.'

Clark: Funny you mentioned that Honey, see here in this weeks issue of Metropolitan Cooking they have a recipe for chocolate pizza.

Lois: Oh god I'm gonna need some Alka Seltzer (and she bolts to the medicine cabinet)

Dean: This latest script they've sent over is fantastic! The episode's called Ghosts, and Lois gets possessed by the murdered wife of a gangster. There's ouija boards and floating stuff in the kitchen, and they've bagged Drew Carey to play the dumb but lovable bad guy. How cool is that! We are so getting a fifth season!

Teri: ...


Anyone else playing or can I declare myself the winner, erm, I mean give the random dice a roll.

Ok, I think I'm gonna give... Crazy_Babe the next go!

Thanks (and me wonders for which caption as I'd posted two) Ok ball in my court huh? Lemme go dig around...



I found this on Christane site. Jimmy just looks funny see what you can come up with.

Well, Paul's too clever for his own good, so I couldn't let him win again. And I loved your rabbit dropping caption.

But really I'm just spreading the love around by giving someone different a turn.

______________

Jimmy (singing): The-e fir-irst No-o-el the angel did say, was to certain poor shepherds in fields where they laaaay; I-in fi-elds a-as they lay, a-keeping their sheeeeep, ...

Random voice OS: Hey, who's strangling a cat?

_______________

Jimmy(singing): While shepherds washed their socks by night all seated round the tub..

Perry: Jimmy!

Jimmy(singing): ...the Angel of the Lord came down and they began to scrub.

Perry: JIMMY!

As I started a new page, I'll "quote" the picture for everybody's convenience:

hey gr8, love them both.

Btw, I also loved the rabbit dropping-caption - simply hilarious

I thought along the same lines as you, gr8shades, but even though mine isn't as funny, I'll still post it ...

-----------------------------

Jimmy (singing): When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie - that's amore ... that's amore ...

Clark (OS): Okay, Lois, he *did* blow your cover - but honestly: chaining him to his desk, spraying him with pheromones and putting a life-sized Barbie doll across the room ... that's just mean

Lol Eva. Continuing on a theme...

Jimmy(singing): Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love-

Perry(OS): Judas Priest, man! If you want to win the 17th Annual Metropolis Elvis Impersonators Karaoke Competition you're gonna have to do a lot better than that! Now one more time - with feeling!

But, soft... What light from yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Super Romeo is...

Jimmy, what are you doing?

It's my new play. An adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, but with Superman and...

Please don't tell me there's a Lady Loisette and a Squire James.

How did you know?

*sigh* Call it a lucky guess. But why are you...?

Think about it. The balcony scene? It's perfect. Superman flies through that window up there all the time. And everyone knows he's solar powered. So the comparison to the sun works on a whole other level.

I... guess. But isn't Romeo supposed to be the one on the ground for that scene?

Well, yeah. But... hmm... Hey! Maybe there's two of them! They could be the Super Romeo Brothers!

Jimmy, I'm curious. What did you do last night?

Huh? Oh, I had to go down to STAR Labs to take some pictures. Apparently, they were mixing that stuff from the Space Rats with Miranda's pheromones to see... Well, I'm not sure, exactly. One of the beakers exploded while they were trying to explain it, and I don't really remember what happened after that. Why do you ask?

No reason. Excuse me, I have to go... make some phone calls...

*watching Superman fly out the window*

Oh, man. He's got everything. He flies. He looks great in tights. Everyone loves him, especially the girls. And he gets to save the world at least once a week. And me? I'm stuck here as the office go-fer. All I've got going for me is a pocket full of kryptonite. ... Hey, Lois? What are you doing tonight after work? You want to go hang out downtown? ... *sigh* Yeah, didn't think so.

Jimmy praying: ...and baby Jesus, I swear I will never consider a pretty girl as a sex object ever again...and if I do, may You cast me into a horribly bad Dungeons and Dragons movie.


TEEEEEEJ(hates RIDLEY)/shakes fist

(Shakes package and throws it on the ground) Darn! It looks like I'm getting socks from my secret Santa again. Why isn't there any mercy at Christmastime?

Oh you guys crack me up! I loved Jimmy singing all those songs and the rendition of Romeo and Juliet simply hilarious!

I have to go with Eva the thought of Jimmy singing 'That's Amore' to a barbie doll... so Eva you're up!

YAY!

I didn't think I'd stand a chance because you're all just hilarious.

Paul, I loved the Jimmy Olsen Blues reference

Thanks so much for choosing me, Crazy_Babe, you really boosted my confidence: I feel *soooooooo* funny now (don't worry, I won't quit my day job ...)

So here's the new picture:


Eva

Clark: Whoopsie daisies!

Lois: Come on Hugh Grant. We've got a story to write.

_____________

Dean: I have to sit here in a heap of garbage on a wet sidewalk and the best she can come up with is 'whoopsie daisies'? Pffft! Stupid caption competition! Somebody get me my agent!

Clark: NO, IT'S MY SPACE RAT!

Lois: NO, IT MINE, MINE, MINE!!!

James

*lol* gr8shades

The actual caption is already great.

I happen to love Hugh Grant and actually have a picture of myself in front of the blue door of his character's bookshop in Notting Hill (the door was in Universal Studios, though, I couldn't find the shop in *real* Notting Hill, though people told me it *did* exist in real life ...)

But the second caption: - you brought the concept of meta-fiction to this humble little thread. Well done

Good night,

Eva

Lucy tugging on Lois offscreen: Come on Lois, you can grope your sexy partner in private later

Clark: But I want her to grope me now!!


TEEEEEEEJ

Clark (after Lois kicks him in the stomach): Oof!

Lois: Oh my gosh Clark I'm sorry!

Clark: Lois when I said you could practice your Tae Kwon Do on me I didn't mean in the middle of the street in front of a garbage disposal!

"Clark! Help! The killer tomato has got me in its vine-like grip!"

Clark, thinking: I'm holding on with all the strength I dare use, but its vitamin-rich powers may just be a match for Superman!

Wells, thinking (OS): Oh my. This "Silver Age" universe may well be beyond even my abilities to fix... Can 1978 produce nothing sane?

Can I be naughty?

Lois: Hey, Clark. Is that a large metal rod between your legs or are you just happy to see me?

Clark: They don't call me the Man of Steel for nothing.

Sorry mods.

I'm not a mod for this forum, but I don't think that's over the limit, Gr8Shades.

----

Belated caption for the previous pic:

I know, you're used to seeing a different Jimmy. The other guy stole my identity. He took my name, my job, my credit rating... And you know what the worst part is? I'm the one with the computer skills!

----

Clark: "The Sewage Reclamation Facility wasn't enough? Fine. You push me into a pile of garbage to edge me out on a story, Lois, I'm taking you down with me!"

Lois: "All right. That's it, buster! I'm stealing your watch! Let's see you be on time for that city council meeting now!"

Preston Carpenter (thinking, OS): Hoo boy. The Daily Planet's standards are really slipping. But hey... If one of them gets the other fired, maybe I'll be able to pick up a new reporter for cheap!

----

"Okay, Clark. That's it. I don't care how much red kryptonite you've been exposed to. You have to give the other kids a turn on the tank ride. (Besides, I'm running out of quarters...) You've had enough. Let's go."

DUDE! You SO made me remember Stewart from Madd TV!!!

TEEEEEEJ

clark you're not supposed to shrink until Season 3

Get up, Clark! I don't care if it's only a little game of tug-o-war. I want to win!

Elisabeth
PS That's so funny, Kal El.

Okay, this is tough because they were all great.

But I'll have to go with Kal-El's (more meta fiction):

But gr8shades and HatMan, you're super-close runners-up.

I loved the "vitamin rich-powers" of the killer tomatoes.

Gr8shades, now it's so, uhm, obvious, but honestly: I didn't even see this ...
Just goes to show how innocent I am (well, actually, how *blind* I am.)

Kal-el, the ball's in your court

Since Kal-El didn't reply and gr8shades and HatMan were such close runners-up, I'd say: whoever of you posts first, goes first

Looking forward to the next picture,

Eva

Okay, well... just to keep things rolling, how about we give this one a go?



(Thanks again to followtomorrow.net for the capture!)

(BTW, for the record: 1978, perhaps the height of the "silver age" comics, is also the year which produced "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes," the first Chris Reeves "Superman" movie, and... me!)

LL: ...and the silicone has a more natural feel to it, don't you think.

Superman: Hehehe.

Lex Luthor takes the disturbing trend towards man-boobs a step too far.

______________

Superman: And then you put your arm around the neck like so, and-

*crack*

Oops.

Lex: Nigel *gasp*, no more WWE for the clone!

In a desperate move against his arch nemesis, Lex Luthor had laced his hair with Kryptonite Dust. The reason for this was because he knew the Superhero would deploy his most heinous move in this battle: The Super Death Noogie.

"And... <POP!> there you go, Lex. Shoulder good as new. Now you might want to quit skeet shooting over Metropolis, you know you always throw out your shoulder."

Oh, Paul! That means I'm older than you. <Sigh>

Elisabeth
who is now too depressed to write a caption

Why does everyone think I'm old???

I mean, I feel old sometimes. 30 is looming. And my immune system's attempts to destroy me have left me a forgetful arthritic diabetic who walks with a cane. But... come on! Look at that face over there underneath the beanie copter. Does that look like an old man to you?

Lex thinking oO/ I wonder if my plans to make Lois jealous ever cross the line....naaaaaah

TEEEEEEEJ/WHO THINKS 30 IS STILL YET A BABY!!! and thank the Lord you're a guy Paul, you don't have MENOPAUSE creeping up on you like an velociraptor about to pounce....

You misinterpret. I didn't say you were old, I said that now I feel old.

But, if it makes you feel better, I will leave a caption even if my heart isn't in it.

Elisabeth

Superman: Come on, Lex! Let's play dinosaur rodeo. You be the velociraptor and I'll ride you bareback.

Lex (muttering): If I get my hands on the maker of those Space Rats...

~*~

(Inspired from LCfan4ever's avatar) Superman: I'm seizing the high ground!

Lex: okay, okay, okay *weary parental sigh* I'll play pretend World Wrestling Federation with you one more time. But this time I get to be the Undertaker and you ...

Shmuperman: No, daddy, no: I really wanna try my pinning headlock elbow drop on you tonight *thud*


Sorry, but this reminded me of the time when my sister and I used to watch wrestling on TV (early, early in my youth, which was aeons ago since I'm almost as old as Paul ).

I hadn't thought about this in a long time, but it was so cool back then: the Undertaker, Hulk Hogan, Brad "the Hitman" Hart and of course the British Bulldog

I can't believe we fell for that

P.S. I actually researched this caption so a "pinning headlock elbow drop" is a legitimate professional wrestling attack (at least according to Wikipedia).

EDIT:

P.P.S. I just re-read the other captions - gr8shades I honestly didn't see yours before (at least not consciously), I was too distracted by your man boobs
But for the record (and not to let all my important, yet unused "research" for the caption above go to waste): when Vatman aired, it was still WWF, not WWE. They changed their name in 2002. /end wise ass mode

This is probably not going to make anyone feel any better, but I'll be 30 this October. To soften the blow...I wish I was a bit older. lol

I'll be 25 in November. ;_; I don't feel old until I realize that songs I listened to growing up are TEN YEARS OLD... sheesh.

"I am older than you. Therefore, I am old." What else am I supposed to make of that, Elisabeth?

(And, hee! Elisabeth posts right after the Meerkat pops her head above ground! - Sorry, kind of an in-joke, but that amuses me.)

Anyway... this was a close call. (Super Death Noogie! Hee!) But... your heart may not have been in it, but it seems your funny bone was. I gotta give it to the Space Rats and the "dinosaur rodeo."

Even if you did make me feel old, you're up, Elisabeth!

All this talk about aging has turned at least a dozen of my hair grey! Heck! I'm twenty-eight and I already feel old!


Well... as for the Caption... hmmm...
-----------------------------------------
Superman Clone in a *play*ful mood...
LEX : Careful Supes, honey! I'm a little tender there.
SUPERMAN (CLONE) : Shucks! You know that line's a huge turn off, sweetheart!
-----------------------------------------


And I'm assuming that's Superman Clone AKA Vatman there bcoz I shudder to imagine otherwise!

EDIT:
Okay, I thought of another one...
They are shooting Vatman episode

-----------------------------------------
JOHN SHEA (as LEX LUTHOR) : Careful Supes, honey! I'm a little tender there.
DEAN CAIN (in Superman's costume) : OMG, that's the second time you've spoken Teri's line. Stick to your own script, John!
-----------------------------------------

Thanks so much. (I hope he isn't giving the pity vote to the old lady. At least I know that James is eight years older than me.)

Hope y'all enjoy this.


Elisabeth

Lois: Yoohoo, Cla-ark! I'm over here!

Clark: Er, Lois, I think you might want to consider getting your eyes tested.

______________

Clark(thinking): What the hell has she done to her hair?!

Clark thinking oO/ Is Lois on the verge of a "clothing malfunction"?


TEEEEEJ

Lois(cheering): Lions are ready, Lions know what to do, Lions'll take control, and stomp all over you! Goooooooooo Lions! Woohoooo!!

Clark: :rolleyes:

Clark (thinking) : Uh oh! I can spot a fly heading straight towards her... I hope she closes her mouth before... oops! Has she swallowed it? Should I run before she turns around and spits it on me! Eh?

Lois: *Catching a peanut in her mouth* See, Clark? TOLD you I could catch that from across the room!

Clark: That's my girl, all class.

"Hey, Lois, you've got epidermis all over you."

"Aaaah! Get it off me! Get it off me!!"

Lois: Wait, I know, I know, I know, it's baby fish mouth!*

Clark (thinking): I just *hate* playing charades with Lois ...


*yes, I do like When Harry Met Sally

Since I hate to hand it right back to Paul, even if his was darn funny, I'm declaring Gr8shades the winner. Brava! (Or is that Bravo?) ...and take it away!

Elisabeth

Brava me! Or you're just trying to get me away fom that poster thread!

Let's see what I can find.



How about that?

Lois: I'll have a half caff, double tall, non-fat, whole milk foam, double cup, no lid coffee. With one sugar.

Clark(thinking): High. Maintenance.

Clark: Lois d'ja ever hear the one that goes, "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose"?

TEEEEEJ

First, I burst out laughing when I saw the pic...

Lois, thinking to herself:Not only can't Kent get away from me anytime soon, thanks to Jimmy's little accident with the super glue, but with my finger in front of his mouth, he will not be able to edit my copy. Good thing I can still type 80 words a minute with only one hand...

Clark, thinking to himself: What Lois doesn't know is that I can read thoughts...

James

Lois : See? My peripheral vision is quite good. I can touch your nose looking straight!
Clark : Uh uh! Is that another one of your talents?

"Clark, I'll give you to the count of three to explain where you were while I went off to meet our source alone... again. One..."

At super speed: *Clark zips across the room* "I was there. I'm Superman. I saved your life. Again. Also, I love you." *Clark zips back to where he was*

*Lois absently waves her left hand to swat at whatever was buzzing over there* "... Two... Almost three..."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I... had to walk my neighbor's poodle. I promised her I'd take care of the dog while she was out of town, and the poor thing's bladder was going to burst..."

Lois: *Singing* You are so beautiful, to me! You're the only one I want, the only thing I seeee!

Clark: Lois, stop serenading the coffee pot.

Lois: Can't you SEEEEEEE!!! - Clark, its been three days, five hours, seventeen minutes and forty-five seconds since I had a cup! We really need to fix our pot at home, Mr. I-Don't-Know-My-Own-Strength!

Oh I don't know...

Coolgirl, why don't you have the next go.

ME? <squeaks>
Oh ho ho ho!! I'm not all that good in choosing pics... anyway here goes...

Clark(thinking): Where'd I leave that pencil?

Lois, typing: I hate you, Clark! How could you do this to me??

Clark, thinking: I can't believe it worked! You put something in her mouth, and she can't talk! Even though she could just spit it out or reach up with her hands to take it out... it's like the possibility doesn't even occur to her. This is amazing. You'd think with the number of times she's been bound and gagged, she'd have figured it out by now.

Hmm... I could try to explain it to her. Could be important the next time she gets caught and tied up. But maybe it's worth the risk...

Clark: Wow Lois I know you're dedicated to your job, but supergluing a pencil to your teeth in protest won't stop Perry from killing our story.

TEEEEEJ

Clark: Biting down on something hard isn't supposed to stop pain, Lois. Its so you don't break your teeth. And really, I don't think its all that painful.

Lois: *Spits out pencil* Not that PAINFUL?? CLARK! CAT got nominated for a Kerth! CAT!

I thought I'd wait for a couple more entries but then I'm leaving for a neighboring state and won't be online until Sunday (I think) so...

Choosing is difficult... but I think I'll give it to you Hatman!

Sorry, wasn't thinking. I'm going in for medical testing in the morning. Not going to get much sleep tonight, and I'm not sure how I'll be feeling afterwards. I'm probably going to be out of touch for a while, too.

Glad you liked my caption, but I think it's better if someone else posts the next picture.

Ok here you go... again, gr8shades!

Thanks. Hope everything goes well for you today Paul.

[img]http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh62/jlo-pb/TheFamilyHour1017.jpg?t=1205998342[/img]

Ellen: Their real and spectaular!


Ha yeah I kinda suck that this lol :p

My hubby suggested this one...
That's why they say it's difficult to get three women together... and even if, by some extraordinary, phenomenal circumstance, they do get together... they try not to face each other! That's the only way to keep them civil and smiling.

Ellen Droid: Let's party!

Lois Droid: Tee hee!

Martha: I understand what you're saying, Jonathan, but the man must be stopped. Baby Gunderson was one thing, but these androids of Ellen and Lois are way over the edge.

Ellen Droid: Let's party!

Lois Droid: Tee hee!

Jonathan (off screen): You're right, Martha. I was just saying that I like this Ellen better.

Martha: Nice blouse, Ellen.

Ellen: Thank you. It's to remind my worthless husband that if he ever cheats on me again, I'll take a waffle iron to his chest.

Martha: I... see...

Ellen: I can't take my eyes off the man, and I don't mean that in the good way.

Lois (pointedly ignoring her mother): Hello, Ficus. How are you doing over there in the corner? You know, it's so nice to make a new frond. You really shouldn't be such a wallflower...

Ficus (OS): *rustle, rustle* [Translation, with thanks to Meredith Knight: Self is pleased to be showered with attention. Self would prefer to be showered with actual water...]

<snort!> LOL, Paul, you're hilarious.

BJ

Well, like I said there, I can\'t take all the credit ...

Aaargh! I've been banished to an internetless hell! Paul pick the next one - I haven't even read them! Sorry people!

Back tomorrow.

Oh, wow. Stuck without internet? Yikes. Hope you get that cured/fixed/whatever soon!

Meantime, let's keep this thread going.

Next one, coming up...



(Thanks to Christiane for this one. )

Clark: See, Lois? I got all those hints you were dropping about where to have our honeymoon! An island...in the pacific...

Lois: Clark, I was trying to nudge you toward *HAWAII*, not Alcatraz.

Clark: ...oh.

A "Perry inspired" hideaway

Jailhouse Rock INDEED!!


TEEEEEEJ

Lois: I know what I did to that roast last night was criminal, Clark, but don't you think this is taking things a little far?

(I am back in the land of the online. Thank goodness!)

Lois: But Superman, you said you wouldn't play the role of judge, jury and... (gulp) executioner.

I've got two captions for this!

A)Example for the eternal dilemma- In or Out?
Lois : Clark! Let's get out!
Clark : There's a *bed* inside. I have my wife in my arms... shouldn't I go in?

B)
Clark : Do you think we ought to make use of that bed... you know... just to have a nice reminder of the awful time spent here?

Lois : Clark! I don't want those *rats* to watch!

Clark: Ahh I have finally reached the last level and can now save the princess!

Lois: Honey, I think maybe you've been playing Mario Brothers a bit too much.

Clark: Do you have any idea how hard that actually game is??

Hey Paulie, feel like picking a winner?

Oh, right. Sorry. Was going to give it one more day, to see if there were any new captions, and then, when that day passed, I plum forgot! Thanks for the reminder.

So... winner... I think I'm going to have to go with Super Mario Man. You're up, Cat!

Who me? Hee! Fortunately I just saw a very funny scene



(Just in case you can't tell, that's Perry in the dress )

Clark: Are you sure you need more cotton candy? 'cause you've already gone all blurry and sparkly as it is.

TEEEEEJ

Lois: Looks like your dad isn't the only middle aged cross dresser in town

Lois: Omg! Clark I think Perry took his mid-life crisis a little to far!

Clark: You think?

Perry: ...and that's when the surgeon said he'd knock another $300.00 off the bill. Apparently, cases like mine aren't so----Clark? Are you okay, son? What's the matter, you've never heard someone talk about kidney surgery before?!

Clark: Uh, what? KIDNEY Surgery? Oh! Um...*cough*

Perry: Son, I don't even want to know what you though I was talking about.


(Yeah, it sucks, sorry. :p )

"Perry?? What happened to you?"

"Well, I was walking around the carnival here, and I came across a fortune-telling machine..."

"You mean like the one in the movie Big?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I put my quarter in and it said I could make a wish. And I was looking at the thing and thinking how nice it was. People come up to it and give it money. They ask for things, but it just gives them a little pre-printed card and they walk away happy. Not like my job, where I have to run the paper, make sure everything is in place and working smoothly, and deal with everyone's problems on top of it. And then try to find time to be with Alice, too... So I'm looking at the machine, and I say, 'I wish my life was more like yours.' Next thing I know... *poof!* I'm dressed like this!"

Lois : Ewww! First your dad... and now Perry! Don't you think the earrings, beaded necklace and gypsy hat is taking it a bit too far?
Clark : Uh... what?
Lois : Cross-dressing, Clark! It's becoming a fashion!

Perry: Heads up, kids! *swoosh*

Lois: Doesn’t look like the Chief’s quite mastered the art of spinning in and out of his suit yet.

Clark: Unless that is the suit! Man, I really gotta stop getting struck by lightening while I’m touching people.

Perry: You have to understand that although Alice really liked the toupe, it never felt right. I figure that with this getup I still look young, hot and happening... and Alice probably won't be yelling out, "Oh, Dan!"

you crack me up, gr8shades.

TJ: also love yours

Eva

Superman taught me this trick. You move so fast you start to blur.

James, identity thief extraordinaire

*me gets out poking stick - again.



Hey Cat, fancy picking a winner?

Sorry I'm not Cat so I can't pick a winner, but I had so much fun at this! You are all so funny. Gr8shades, you killed me! Somebody should tell a story of how Clark accidentally transfers his powers to Perry who turns himself into Super-Madame Perroni, super fortune teller!

Ann

Ooh crud! Sorry, I would have posted a winner earlier, but my brain's been icky, and today I haven't been feeling well...

Now, a lot of these nearly made me snort soda out my nose, so I was thinking of writing names and pinning them to a dart board and then letting a dart choose the winner for me. Two things got in the way of this... One, I don't OWN a dart board, and two, I was pretty certain that the wall would be the winner... I have a horrible aim...

Okay, it came down to two. With much great reasoning and an intelligent system of deductingness *shoves quarter under keyboard* I'm going to have to go with...

*drumrolls*

Queen of Capes! That didn't suck nearly as bad as you'd thought

(And yes, I really did use a quarter... I was torn between two!)

*checks contest for first time in days*



Geesh, now I gotta go find a pic...

...and how about this one?

Unfortunately, that site doesn't allow hotlinking, Mary. Hotlinking eats into their bandwidth without giving them anything in return.

Fortunately, there's flickr...

Lois: What are you doing, Chief?

Perry: Thinking about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.

Jimmy: ...or not.

____________________

See, it's been so long my brain can't play this game anymore and I've had to resort to theft. Thanks/sorry Paul.

____________________

Perry: I found them on eBay. Best darn $800 I ever spent! And when I wear them round my neck I get to keep a little piece of the King close to my heart.

Lois: Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Great shades of Elvis' too, huh Chief.

Jimmy: You mean that's not about sunglasses??

Perry: Has any of you seen my glasses?
Lois: You're kidding, right?
Perry: No, honestly. I had them in my hand one minute, and the next they were gone.
Jimmy: Well ah, Chief, you may want to look down.
Perry: *looks down* Well, would you look at that! Now... has anyone seen my watch?
Lois: Maybe all these late nights are finally getting to you?
Clark: Oh boy...

"Clark? We're all roasting with this heat wave, and you're wearing a suit?"

"Oh, yeah. That. Well, see... if I wore short sleeves, then my spandex... uhm... long johns... would show, and that just wouldn't look right."

"Oh. Uh, of course."

Paul, thanks for fixing the picture!

And guys, LOL!

Perry's bummed because when he offered to show off the new Elvis tattoo on his chest, everyone broken into a sweat.

TEEEEJ

This is the only thing coming to me but you can't really see Clark so...

o/~ One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong...o/~

Carol

Cute, Carol.

Two guesses what was showing at my house this morning...

Carol [who actually wasn't home this morning but yesterday...]

Argh! This was hard. There were two I just couldn't choose between, so I had to flip a coin. Twice.

Gr8shades, you win! Perry thinking about penguins is hilarious! Although, I guess that should technically mean Paul is the winner...

Well, you guys can hash it out. I'm still laughing over these. ^_^

Ok, I'm jumping in first. Thanks Mary - and Paul.

booger checking nazi takes her job seriously.

Sorry, should have posted to official cede the floor. My sig, but your idea to use it as a caption. I'd never have thought of that, and (surprise, surprise) I really liked it. Good job. You earned the win.

As for a caption...

Gretchen: Okay, seriously? I don't care if you do have all of Superman's powers. Touch me there again, and I will kick your southern-fried behind.

Dr. Kelly has to see if the ability to stare for a really long time is one of Superman's powers. (She's wearing her special "Stare-Contest" contacts)

How about this? Can you see me better from down here, little man?

Okay... here's mine! Along the lines of Cheeseofthe Month!


Gretchen : Grow up, li'l guy! Be brave 'n feel 'em!

Are you sure you don't know where Mrs. Lincoln is? *stares harder*

[Okay - I watched the ep yesterday. Deal with it ]

Carol

Lady, I don't care who you are. I don't want to wrestle you. Not even with both hands tied behind your back.

Ok, time to pick a winner...

TEEEJ, you're up!

OOOOO!!!
Okay lemme go find sumthin to post....

AWWWW don't he look pouty??


GO!!

All collagen and no botox makes Superman a grumpy boy.

(ok, not so original but,)

His response when Lois said he had hat hair...

Clark: What are you talking about, Lois? This IS my sexy face!
Lois: Oh boy...
Clark: And that's MY line.

Superman: Whatcha Talkin' about Lois?

Clark: Explain it to me again. You're saying that somehow the coffeemaker spontaneously combusted and the only way to put out the fire was to beat it with my new Armani jacket? Whatever happened to yelling "help, Superman"?

It was my Space Rat and it didn't want to wear doll clothes. Now, give it back.

Lois: Now go be a good boy and save the people on the bridge, or no more Ho-Hos or Ring Dings for you! (And when I get my hands on whoever unearthed that piece of red K...)

----

Lois: No! I have to work! I'm chasing a hot lead! I am not going to dash home in the middle of the day so we can play "Snuffleupagus and the big blue Nookie Monster!"

SM: Aww. But me love nookie!

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! These are all freaking good. I wanna give it one more day, but these are already making me spew liquid and pee my pants like a demon possesed preteen.

TEEEEEEEJ

so um is there a winner yet?

YES!!! lisime you had me at "Whatchoo" seeing as my youngest just discovered Different Strokes on BET.


Go make a caption!

TEEEEEEEJ

YAY! Thanks TEEEEEEEJ!

here you guys go!

Martha: Come on, Clark. That’s not the face of someone thinking happy thoughts.

__________________________


Martha: All together now, *singing* 'I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day…'

Clark: Mother, you’re not helping.

Going off Gr8shades music theme...


Martha: I know it's not easy to be you, Clark, but I promise, jumping won't change anything...except the surface of the sidewalk.

TEEEEEEJ

How in the world am I supposed to know what my happy thought is if I have no memories?

Carol

Too funny!

Clark: Look, ma! I'm flying!! Whee!

Martha: Clark! Come down here! Yes, it's really cool that you have your own mini-trampoline, but playing with it on the roof is just not safe!

Clark: I swear, ballroom dancing is so much easier when my feet are on the ground.

Martha: Yes, I know dear, but if you want to impress Lois you have to practice.

Clark: Can I stop jumping now?

Martha: No, I saw its legs twitch. Keep stomping!

Clark: After living on a farm, mom, I never thought you'd have such a cockroach phobia.

Martha: They're icky, they're creepy, and they're icky!

To add to Rona's:

Clark: And wouldn't it be easier if I was actually dancing *with* someone instead of pretending?

Martha: Well, of course, but ballroom dancing is really more your father's thing than mine and I really don't think either one of you really wants that.

Carol

Ha you all did a great job! but I can only pick one unfortantely. <drumroll> but the winner is......gr8shadesofElvis! I nearly choked on my water when I read it lol.

Yay! Thanks.

I promised Michael the next time I won that this would be my choice, so here it is!

From the National Whisper:
Ultimate Proof!
Affair between Lois Lane and Superman confirmed.

Lois: You mean THAT is where it hurts???

Ann

Lois Lane's argument winning "death squeeze" proves that it's not only kryptonite that renders Superman vulnerable.

TEEEEEJ

Warning: This one's PG-13. I'm pretty sure. It's kind of on the line. If anyone objects, don't hesitate to let me or the mods know.

---

Lois: Okay. It was a bad idea. But you're super strong and invulnerable and everything, and I'm... not. If we're going to be... together, we have to find some way...

SM: I know, I know... But - ARRRRGGGHH!! - Okay, fine... I'll fly you into a - AAAAAAACK! - thunderstorm...

Lois: I thought you didn't want to take the risk...

SM: It's - YEEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHH!! - worth it. Just no more - OOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

Lois: I promise. No more glow-in-the-dark latex.

You smell like sweaty socks.

Michael

Paul -- I think you just killed Cat and me... <snort>

Here's mine:

"Oh, Oh, I'm sorry, you're sick and I don't mean to take advantage, but... how could I not? You've been flaunting that body at me for THREE YEARS!"

(heh. it's not that funny, I know.)

THFffffffffffffffffffffffffffffp!

(In case you were wondering, that was the sound of Strawberry Tea being spewed across the computer monitor )

Okay, I'm gonna attempt one!

Lois: Oh thank goodness! I was starting to get strange looks...

Superman: Thanks. Did you perform CPR?

Lois: Yeah. Of all the places for a Kryptonian heart to be!

Superman (in pain): Lois?!

Lois Lane (breezily): Oh, it's just that in your interview you mentioned having all the parts of a man, and us reporters need to back each claim with hard facts, so...

SM: That's... arrgh... your watch -

LL (glances at her wrist): Oh this cute thing? It's a gift from Lex, do you like it?

SM: I...why is it... glowing green? <collapses>

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


TEEEEEEEJ/wiping tears from eyes

Ack! Sooo hard to choose!

You all made me laugh, but I think... (yes, occassionally)... I'm gonna give AnKS the next go.

Thanks! Here's the next one...

Double your pleasure
Double your fun
With Doublemint , Doublemint , Doublemint gum

[Yeah okay - go with it].
Carol

Lois: You'll want to dye your hair if you’re gonna pull off that pose. ‘Vacuous’ and ‘brunette’ just don’t go.

____________________


Fake Lois: There’s my jugular, go for it. Take your best shot, bitch.

Lois: Lady, you are so going down! Meeeeoooww!!
(followed by lots of hair pulling)

[What Carol said]

Lois: You have got to be kidding me! All this time scouring this universe for you, and it turns out you faked your own death?

Alt-Lois: Reporting was getting monotonous. Same thing every week. Find the bad guys, get kidnapped, escape death by the skin of my teeth, write the story. So boring. So predictable.

Lois: I see. So you gave it all up for... this?

Alt-Lois: Hey, I've got the legs and I've got the pipes. It's a heck of a lot more interesting, and a little less dangerous.

Lois: But... a dockside nightclub singer?

Alt-Lois: Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, sugar.

Lois: Well... I... Never mind.

BlackSuitLois: I'm telling you, she needs to just go for it.
WhiteSuitLois: No way, she'll only get in trouble.
BlackSuitLois: Yeah, but if she does, maybe Superman will come rescue her again.
WhiteSuitLois: This is true... Yes, then it's agreed.
BlackSuitLois: Right. On three.
Both: GO FOR THE STORY, LOIS!!
WhiteSuitLois: As her 'Good Side, Bad Side' duo, aren't we supposed to disagree and create conflict?
BlackSuitLois: Not where the boy in blue is concerned.

This has been a (non)conflict between Lois's shoulder angel and devil

I loved them all (carol, gr8shades, Paul, CatherineBruce)

Ooh, me?? Eek! I mean, thanks!

And this picture looks captionable, I think

Lois Lane. Going where no reporter has gone before.
----------------------------------------
Lois, I'm fine! Just because they're green doesn't mean they're made of kryptonite.

~Anna

ETA: When I first saw the cap, I thought it looked kinda like her finger was up his nose. Now that I look at it again, I see she's just pulling a cigarette out of his mouth, but since it's funnier to think of her finger in his nose, I'll leave my captions. *g*

LL - (to man in the elevator) - A shining head and long tooth! Are you an alien?

CK - (to LL) - Umm... Lois... I think his baldness is the shine and that long tooth's a cigarette! And... as for being an alien... he isn't! Trust me I'm sure! Because, you see, I have first hand knowledge of aliens!

Lois: Hey, Clark, have you heard of this? They have these new dummies for the elevators that do magic tricks. See, I can pull this noodle out of his mouth and...

"Wow! This super speed thing is amazing! It's like everyone else is frozen! And I can just reach out and touch them and they'll probably never even feel it..."

"Well, they might feel something..."

"Like a little tickle or something? Hee! Tickle your mustache! Hey, I bet I can get this guy to sneeze, and he'll never know why! Tickle, tickle!"

"Remind me why I gave you super powers...?"

"So that we could be 'together' without having to use --"

"Oh, right. Never remind me of that again. ... Ow."

Lois: Well, would you look at that! It’s the forgotten Dwarfs eight through ten - Ugly, Smokey and Baldy - all rolled into one!

Clark: Lo-is!

Lois: You know, with a moustache like that you could play the lead role in Magnum PI: The Sunset Years.

Clark: Lois, give the guy a break.

Lois: Hey, maybe Dan could lend you one of his shirts.

Clark: Lois...

Lois: Ooh, or Captain Hook. You could stick your fingers in your ears like in the movie and use the wax to twirl the ends into little points.

Clark: Lois!

Lois: Or maybe Hercule Poirot, with his 'little gray cells'...

Oh boy! DO I HAFTA choose?? Many of these made me giggle!

Well... okay. Oh, hard to choose!! (Stop being so good, you guys makes it difficult for people to choose! (And I'm just kidding... Keep making me giggle!))

HatMan you win, because you almost made me spew something out my nose. Again.

(And ow!!!)

Me? Yay! (Sorry about the choking hazard, though...)

But... oh, crumb. That means I have to actually find a new pic.

Right, then. Give me a minute.

Or two.

Or...

Hmm, okay. What about this one?



(With thanks to LoisAndClarkArchive.com)

Pfff, I should be used to it

This turned out slightly longer than I expected O.o

Lois: So... all this happened?
Superman: Right.
Lois: Because of... what exactly, again?
Superman: I tripped.
Lois: You. You... tripped?
Superman: Right.
Lois: How can you trip?
Superman: I was trying to avoid the cat.
Lois: And the cat was in the street?
Superman: No, the cat was in a tree.
Lois: Why did you have to avoid the cat in the tree?
Superman: It was in my landing vector.
Lois: So... you avoided the cat by crashing into cars?
Superman: No, I avoided the cat by doing a barrel roll.
Lois: And then you hit the cars?
Superman: No, then I hit the pavement and slipped on some marbles.
Lois: Were the marbles just lying there?
Superman: No, the kid lost his marbles.
Lois: *mutters* YOU lost your marbles...
Superman: What, dear?
Lois: Nothing! ...so, you avoided the cat and slipped on some marbles and THEN landed in the street?
Superman: No, after the marbles I stumbled around the dog.
Lois: A cat AND a dog... oye. So, you avoided the cat, slipped on some marbles, stumbled around the dog, and THEN you crashed into the cars?
Superman: No, after the dog I crashed into the cart.
Lois: What cart?
Superman: The hot dog cart.
Lois: ...Why don't you just tell me the order of events so we can write up the article and go home.
Superman: You're not going to WRITE about this, ARE you?
Lois: Of course, dear.
Superman: Why??
Lois: We report the news.
Superman: This isn't news! It's embarrassing!
Lois: That's what makes it news.
Superman: But-
Lois: The story.
Superman: But-
Lois: Now, dear, I don't have all day.
Superman: But-
Lois: You'll go a week without dessert.
Superman: FINE!
Lois: Good boy.
Superman: After the hot dog cart, it rolled down the sidewalk, and I tried to stop it. I then tripped over... [half an hour later] ...and then the balloon vendor got involved, the child was still crying about dropping her ice cream, and the mother was so mad that she maced me.
Lois: *head jerks up from doze* Then what happened, dear?
Superman: I sneezed.
Lois: ...You sneezed.
Superman: Right.
Lois: Let me guess. After you sneezed, a meteor came down and crashed into some random thing that just so happens to go along with this Purple Passion tale, right?
Superman: Don't be silly, Honey.
Lois: I'm the silly one?
Superman: Of course not, my Darlingest Dear. You are the epitome of seriousness.
Lois: Good save.
Superman: I thought so.
Lois: So what happened after the sneeze?
Superman: ...The pile-up, of course.
Lois: WHAT? But you said you tripped!
Superman: Well, yeah, that's what started this whole thing.
Lois: What? Why didn't you just say you sneezed in the first place?
Superman: You wanted stuff for your article.
Lois: What article?
Superman: ...The one you're going to write about this whole thing.
Lois: Oh right, I forgot about that...
Superman: Lo-is!
Lois: Well, you just kept going on about it. Wait... You mean to tell me that one sneeze caused all of THAT?
Superman: No no, you see, first the Lexus careened into the fire hydrant, then the nuns... [and he continues from there!]

*collapses onto the ground*

Lois: Shouldn't you be there to help them with the wreck?

Superman: Oh! That's not a wreck... just some overgrown kids playing life-size robotic car-wars!

CK: Somehow I don’t think prayer is gonna get them out of this one.

LL: Careful Clark, you could get smited for saying something like that.

CK: Lois, "smited" isn't a word.

LL: Sure it is! I just used it in a sentence.

CK: No it’s not.

LL: All right, fine! What then, "smitten"?

CK: Baby, I’m already smitten.

LL: (rolls eyes) Hey, do they look a little handsy to you?

CK: Lois, "handsy" isn't a word either.

LL: Oh, shut it Nerdboy!

Lois: This is supposed to be art?

Superman: Sure, the artist calls it 'two cars, two nuns.'

Lois: That's original.

Lois: I didn't know Britney was in Metropolis.

(sorry if that's mean )

I thought this was supposed to be a peaceful protest. There has to be a better way than blocking traffic to point out the inherent dangers in speed bumps.

Clark: "Don't even think of joining them! You're *my* bride."

Lois: Wow Superman! What happened?

Superman: Sister Mary Ellie Fant got some of my superpowers in a lightening strike the other night so now when she yells "SHUT UP!!" it causes an earthquake.


(you'll have to have heard Cheech and Chong at one point to know this reference )


TEEEEEEJ

Boy, this is tough...

But, all else being equal, I try to avoid tagbacks (though that was quite an effort!). And if it's mean (but funny!) to make a caption picking on Brittney, then it's probably even more mean to pick it as the winner. And... I'll spare you the rest.

lisime, I liked yours. And, as it happens, it reminds me of a certain very odd "sculpture" prominently on display in Sarasota (where I spent some time not too long ago), which just makes it that much better. So... Lisa, you're up!

Sorry I'm not Lisa, but her caption reminds me of a movie I saw way back when, That Sinking Feeling. Four unemployed Scottish lads steal some stainless steel sinks(!), and now they just need to find a buyer for their loot! Well, they put down the heavy sinks on the pavement, stacking them on top of each other. An art dealer happens by and calls the tower of sinks an installation! He buys the stolen sinks for a couple of thousand pounds! It was really funny, because it was so crazy....

Ann

Lisa? Lisime? You there? Got a pic for us?

OOOPs sorry guys! been really busy, sick, and got my sister's wedding on sunday! but here's the pic!

Lois(OS): Honey, do you like it?

Clark: Gaaahhhh!

Mr Always Right's real reaction when Mrs Right came home from the beauty parlour with ghastly cropped, dyed red hair.

"MOM!!!"

"So, Dad, what do you think of my new Ultra Woman costume? Isn't it great? Grandma says it's a sure thing no one will be looking at my face!"

Clark walks in on the affair between his mom and Perry White...

Martha: ...and here's a picture of Clark when he was two... isn't that the cutest little tush?
Lois: Awwwww! How adorable!
Clark: No! Not the BABY PICTURES!

The rise of the metrosexual: Clark takes advantage of his temporary loss of powers to try waxing his legs.

Off camera: Gee Dean, I knew that they had a hard time coming up with stand ins for you, but don't you think the prop department could have made a mannequin that didn't look like a ventriloquist's dummy with its strings cut!

*snork* he's doing an imitation of Achmed the Terrorist. "SILENCE!!! I KEEL YOU!!"

TEEEEEJ

Clark Kent is practicing his Tarzan call for Metropolis' newest stage production of Tarzan and Jane: The New Adventures of the Ape Man

I won!

Clark: Just a little more lower and I can aim this crumpled piece of paper for Lois' butt!

Clark: 'Attack of the Giant Killer Popcorn' Lois? And they can fly?? Last time I checked we worked for the Daily Planet, not the National Whisperer. (mocking) Surrender humans, resistance is futile. Take us to your Kernel!

Lois: Shhh Clark, they could be anywhere!


________________

(James, you know you are to blame. Maybe 'popcorn airline' does make sense after all?)

Clark testing his new scientific theory of Reflection through a plane mirror - Blowing super-breath at the *right* angle...

Clark (watching Lois' skirt through a mirror)- Lift a bit more... whoosssshh... a bit more... ahh there's the sweet thigh... a bit more... ahh... almost there... ohh-

Lois (oblivious to it all) - Clark! The crooks are back!

Clark - Drat!

Lois: Hey I think I can see something...
She leans a little further
Clark: Me too!

Clark: Well, Lois did say I could kiss her butt.

Michael

Clark, thinking: Steal my story out from under me and tell me it's just business? I don't think so, Lois. Prepare for the super spitball of doom!

And the winner is Gr8shades!!!

This reminds me too much of Attack of the Killer Tomatos....

James

Thanks James.

I've been in the mood for a little Lex lately. So, what's making our favourite baddie happy?

Photographer: Say Cheese Lex!
Lex: Cheese
SNAP!

He's thinking about eating Superman's liver with some arugula and a nice red wine.

TEEEEEEJ

Off screen announcer: Little does the public know that Lex Luthor is really the genetically composited love-child of Mayor Richard Wilkins (Buffy) and Dean Richmond (Nutty Professor: The Klumps). He was created in a bid for world domination...



James

Lex: This just proves Nigel, that financing Miranda’s latest experimental compound was a complete waste of money. My evil plan to turn the world’s population into stupid, happy drones has failed miserably.

Nigel: Yes sir...

Thanks, Mommy. The Nyquil made me feel much better <giggles> ...especially after the third dose.

~@~

The best way to express boyish love is with puppy-dog eyes. I picked the chihuahua.

Nigel: Sir, a package arrived for you.

Lex, bored: Yes, Nigel? What is it? Another piece of the Sphinx's nose?

Nigel: It appears to be a... toy, sir.

Lex: Really? *yawn*

Nigel: Yes, Sir. Some kind of red rubber ball.

Lex: A red... rubber... *perks up*

Nigel: Yes, Sir.

[Nigel opens the package and starts tossing the ball in one hand while reading the package in the other. Lex, unnoticed, becomes transfixed by the ball and progressively more giddy as he watches it.]

Nigel: ... Sir, this ball seems to have an unusual number of warnings. I'm not sure I understand... *looks up* Sir? Are you all right?

Lex: It's... happy! ... It's... fun!!

Nigel: Er... yes, Sir. It's Happy Fun Ball , Sir.

Lex: Shiny ball!!

Nigel: *Starts reading disclaimer more urgently.* I don't see anything about it causing... Ah. "Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space." *shakes head* Kryptonite. It's like catnip for supervillains.

[Nigel tosses it to Lex]

Lex: Happy Fun Ball!!

Nigel: *sigh* Yes, Sir. I'll see if I can arrange a play date for you, Sir. I'm sure you'll want to share your new... toy.

I was thinking about Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball, too.

I think I should make this picture my wallpaper. Every time I look at his dumb expression it makes me smile. :p

I'm going to choose Crazy_Babe as the winner. Simple but effective.