I'm one of those who doesn't dislike deathfics at all if they're well-written, add something to my understanding of the characters, and don't hit me over the head with a sledgehammer of gratuitous angst.
This story is a success in all three of those areas. It's beautifully written and very restrained. The most touching scene of all for me was the one with Lucy railing against Superman and poor Clark having to sit there and take it, unable to defend Superman and unable to feel what Lucy was telling him that he *should* feel. I hurt for him there. Small wonder that he distances himself from her family. He'd have felt they were harboring him under false pretences had he allowed himself to accept their comfort.
I also found myself grieving over the thing that *wasn't* there - the reverse revelation that should have taken place but didn't. Lois knew Clark's secret in the very end, but she died without ever being able to tell him that she knew. So he carries that guilt around along with all the rest, which was a pretty heavy load all by itself.
The fandom is full of 'what if' stories, and to me, this is a very logical one. What Clark did that day was incredibly risky, and he *didn't* have time to think it through fully. If he hadn't been able to revive her, I think his grief would have proceeded in just exactly this manner, with his memories eventually becoming his closest companions.
So sad. So very well done. My congratulations.
Caroline
