I knew it would be sad, being that it's a death fic and all that, but I didn't expect this story to get to me that much. It was all I could do not to cry... I felt so sorry for poor Clark. :-( When he's counting the hours and minutes, it just broke my heart. (which is a good sign in a weird way, cause it means I really got into the story)

I think it's a great story. Very well written and you did a wonderful job with all the characters. I would have loved to see more of a reaction from Lois' father, though... He somehow sounds like he doesn't care very much, I dunno...

Other than that little detail which bugged me, I really loved this story. Well done!

~Lara

Well, I knew what I was getting in to when I saw the warning, so I certainly shouldn't complain. And I'm not really, but I wasn't expecting the story to be so well written and so powerful. You were able to bring tears to my eyes, and that doesn't happen very often.

I watched the video before reading the story. The way you intermix flashbacks in the prose captures the feel of the vid very well. I know that many people do not like deathfics. I usually have to be in the mood for them or I will not read them, but this one was so well done that I would recommend it even to people that typically shy away from deathfics.

-Em

I'm one of those who doesn't dislike deathfics at all if they're well-written, add something to my understanding of the characters, and don't hit me over the head with a sledgehammer of gratuitous angst.

This story is a success in all three of those areas. It's beautifully written and very restrained. The most touching scene of all for me was the one with Lucy railing against Superman and poor Clark having to sit there and take it, unable to defend Superman and unable to feel what Lucy was telling him that he *should* feel. I hurt for him there. Small wonder that he distances himself from her family. He'd have felt they were harboring him under false pretences had he allowed himself to accept their comfort.

I also found myself grieving over the thing that *wasn't* there - the reverse revelation that should have taken place but didn't. Lois knew Clark's secret in the very end, but she died without ever being able to tell him that she knew. So he carries that guilt around along with all the rest, which was a pretty heavy load all by itself.

The fandom is full of 'what if' stories, and to me, this is a very logical one. What Clark did that day was incredibly risky, and he *didn't* have time to think it through fully. If he hadn't been able to revive her, I think his grief would have proceeded in just exactly this manner, with his memories eventually becoming his closest companions.

So sad. So very well done. My congratulations.

Caroline

I did not read the story or the feedback and I wont. Just thanking you for the warning.

I've been debating with myself whether or not to read this story and I've decided, for the moment at least, that I won't. I actually felt my stomach tying itself in knots as soon as I saw the title of this story appear in the fanfic folder. It's the same title as the title of Rachel's beautiful, harrowing video of Clark trying to live on after Lois's death.

I remember your heartfelt, moving comment on Rachel's video, Terry. You are such a thoughtful, insightful person, and these boards benefit so much from your presence. I'm glad you wrote a story on the theme of the video that moved you so much.

Welcome back with many more stories.

Ann

Man, I dove right into this one. This was just EXCELLENT! You sure know how to make a grown gal cry! Sorry I don't have more to say, I'm going to be late for work if I don't leave now.

I'm going to read it again in a few days.

The ending was particularly powerful. I liked the repetition and the emphasis on the passage of time. It makes me wish I had seen the video

Thanks, for the warning, Terry. I appreciate it.

In the MV She's, if I remember, it was Clark who was Lois's actual murderer. (don't know if that's the case in this story but am assuming so) Sort of like RL murders in North America - women are statistically more likely to be murdered by their husband/lover than by any other single source.

But I'm really curious about the reasons for this desire to kill off Lois Lane, not just in this fic but in others.

Is it to reflect on those real life stats with repsect to violence against women I mentioned above? Is it a desire to re-con Clark Kent's character and make him a villain rather than a hero? Is it a desire to get rid of Lois Lane and substitute a "Mary Sue" character? Is it a desire to trivialize Lois Lane as a character?

I know, in the past, some writers have argued that they wanted to explore the feelings of a character on the death of a loved one, but if that were all it was, then we'd see as many Clark death-fics as Lois death-fics. And we don't. I mean, just how often is it likely that Superman could escape K's lethal effects?

Anyway, very curious.

c.

CCMalo - No, I think you are confusing "She's" with another Rachel vid - "Always". In "Always" Superman kills Lois at the very end. In "She's", it shows Clark dealing with Lois's death and how sad he is (but it never insinuates that he caused it.) Flashbacks are shown in black and white, graveside pics are shown in color and at the end their two hands are reaching for each other (from ep "Meet John Doe") - Lois's is in black and white and Clark's in color.

Sorry I just had to point this out because "She's" is one of my fav vids by Rachel. So sweet, so sad, so moving.

I also like "Always" but for different reasons. I like the beats and the bizarre idea that Lois would push Superman too far one day...

Terry - I have skimmed your story and it looks wonderful, the parts I've read. I have yet to sit down and read it in depth because I haven't been ready to cry yet... and I know I will.

-- DJ

Terry, thank you for writing this story — it was incredible and just so well-written with such obvious reverence for the characters. Not once did it feel like you were torturing Clark for sheer entertainment value or allowing Lois to die for shock and awe. Instead, you gave us a gut-twisting, fully realized "what if" scenario that brought tears to my eyes more than a couple of times.

If I started quoting my favorite haunting passages, I'd just end up posting your entire story here all over again. But suffice to say that nearly every line was an emotional sucker-punch, in the best of heart-wrenchingly possible ways.

And for some reason, Sam Lane's retreat to a tiny island in the Caribbean got me right *there* — how his rare letters would be signed, "Sam, from Margaritaville." In that small aside, you gave us a glimpse of a broken father — one who can't bear to confront the death of his oldest daugher head-on, and instead dulls his grief by tending bar and drinking to forget, hundreds of miles from Metropolis and his memories of never being good enough to and for his family. I can see Sam in a garish Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, leaning against his open-air bar on the beach, surrounded by laughter and paradise but tormented by thoughts of Lois' death and how it's so unnatural, children dying before their parents.

Yikes. I really need to stop rambling. So, the point is: Thanks again for writing this, Terry, and for sharing it on the boards.

DJ, thanks for clarifying about the videos - wasn't sure if my memory was right. Just remember that final scene with CK/S murdering Lois. "She's" was made after "Always" and I recall I took it as a sequel at the time, but have just checked back and Rachel didn't present it as a sequel, just as a Lois "death-vid".

lol - it's always the victim's fault. But the driving energy of those staccato beats did make for an exciting vid.

So I'm guessing Clark doesn't kill Lois in this fic, then.

c.

CC malo writes:
Is it to reflect on those real life stats with repsect to violence against women I mentioned above? Is it a desire to re-con Clark Kent's character and make him a villain rather than a hero? Is it a desire to get rid of Lois Lane and substitute a "Mary Sue" character? Is it a desire to trivialize Lois Lane as a character?

I know, in the past, some writers have argued that they wanted to explore the feelings of a character on the death of a loved one, but if that were all it was, then we'd see as many Clark death-fics as Lois death-fics. And we don't. I mean, just how often is it likely that Superman could escape K's lethal effects?
--

You raise some interesting questions. Now I don't believe in character death myself even though I adore dark angst fics (Why cut the suffering, when you could prolong it for both) But my personal preferences aside, I think the Lois death fic phenomenon comes from the reading of it as Clark's worst nightmare, his ultimate angst or something. I think the prevalent view of the characters seems to be that despite everything, it is Clark who is emotionally weaker.

I was reading some posts from long ago on death fic and someone mentioned that Lois had a greater chance of emerging from losing Clark than vice versa. So in that way it wouldn't be as interesting to read something like that, she'd just wake up and keep going. I personally think that's interesting in an out of itself (a note: doesn't Lynn have an excellent inc fic on a Lois that thinks she's lost Clark even though she hasn't?), but if the desire is to explore feelings of loss and one subscibes to these ideas then Clark would be the logical choice as target.

But if that is the "prevalent" view, why do people think that? I can think of as many instances in the show where we see Lois as emotionally vulnerable (weak?) as Clark. So *why* the view that it's Lois who has a greater chance of emerging from the loss?

c. (who is spending too much time on the computer today)

Terry, this was a very heart-wrenching piece. Certainly the whole freezing procedure was an incredibly risky undertaking. A million things could have gone wrong.

Like Caroline, my heart just clenched during the scene where Lucy is venting against Superman, and Clark just sits there and takes it, consumed by his guilt and his grief over Lois. And the thought that he would never heal...

Responding to the discussion:
Carol, I agree that we did in fact see more and more of Lois' vulnerable side. Perhaps it's because he seems to have fallen in love with her at first sight, and the knowledge that within his invulnerable body beats a very vulnerable heart. That he had saved himself for the one love of his life with whom he would be able to share everything.

And there were Myrtle's comments in "Swear to God, This Time We're Not Kidding". Her opinion hardly makes it an indisputable fact, but perhaps it has influenced, even subconsciously, people's views... You remember that she was originally going to sabotage Clark's wedding ring, and make him the victim. But then she changed her mind, and we get this exchange of dialogue (taken from the script)

Kathy

Remember, though, that Mrytle thought that Clark was immortal and so, of course she believed he would suffer more, because he would suffer longer. Also, how on earth does Volye know this??

True. But ... (you knew there'd be a "but" ) does that mean we are right to ascribe more importance to Clark's emotions just because he's invulnerable physically? Although that fact heightens the ironic contrast between his physical powers and his emotional "normality", it doesn't mean that we should take his emotional vulernablity more seriously than that of any other person.

Otherwise we'd be in the position of believing that Olympic athletes experience emotion more intensely than those who are physically challenged.

In VD, he says that, although he got quite close to crossing the intimacy threshold (such a coy expression ), the reason he hadn't was that "he kept asking himself if he was meant to have a life here". I'm not sure that's the same as "saving himself", although Zara, repressed romantic that she was, spun it that way.

I'll add in another example. Lois's grief over Clark's death in TGOM was much profound than was Clark's when he found out that the Lakes had killed Lois. So what are we to make of that?

c

Well, heh, just to throw my 2 cents in...

We didn't *see* Clark's grief. We saw Superman's. The writers never let us actually see Clark's grief. They only showed him to us as Superman. And Superman is a very public very visable person. He wouldn't be able to display his grief the way Clark could. He had to hide it somewhat.

I for one would have liked to see how *Clark* would have reacted, perhaps in private, at his apartment, or maybe talking to his parents.

So I kind of figure that's what I'm getting to see when I read story's like this one of Terry's.

But of course, opinions are like noses - everyone has one - and that's mine.

Carol, you make very good points, and I can't really say that I disagree with any of them. I postulated that vulnerability/invulnerability could be part of the reason why, but that certainly doesn't mean that it's correct. I agree, we should not view his emotional vulnerability as automatically greater than anyone else's. Truthfully, I had never really thought about the entire issue in any great depth, and I hope that others post here to share their thoughts and opinions.

With the bit about "saving himself", you're right that it was Zara's expression rather than Clark. I actually wasn't thinking of either of those examples from the show when I mentioned that, but rather the various fanfics that have taken the idea that Clark was a virgin and put that particular spin on it as the reason why. I suppose it appeals to the romantic in me. But admittedly it is more fanon than canon.

And the lack of air time devoted to Clark's losing Lois in DTOSC is a definite sore spot with me. I try to comfort myself saying that we only ever saw him coping with the news as Superman, so that he had to remain somewhat detached and emotionless, and that he couldn't give in to the grief that would have flooded him. Maybe I've just read too many stories, but I do feel that Clark would have been completely devastated under those circumstances, and that it was only his many years of concealing a part of himself from the rest of the world - and the public experience of acting differently as the superhero - that enabled us to see Superman as relatively calm. Angst-lover that I am, I would have loved to see more of Clark - as Clark, not hiding behind the superhero's facade - reacting to the loss of Lois, just as we saw Lois in TOGOM.

EDIT - I see that DJ slipped in while I was busy writing up this monster post and expressed the same thoughts on this.

Back to STG... I don't know how Voyle would know this any more than you do. I just remember that it was in the episode. But I am puzzled by your comment that Myrtle thought Clark was immortal and would therefore suffer more/longer. It's been a while since I saw the episode (hurry up, S.4 disks!), but I don't remember this aspect at all. Why did she think this?

Kathy

oops Mixed up 2 female villains there. You're right, Kathy! No idea why Myrtle thought what she did - only that she qualifies in the top 5 of tacky L & C villains. (which of course invalidates all her opinions )

btw, I think we do get a clue about the depth of Clark's feelings inTGoM when he's talking with Martha and Jonathan about having to give up Clark. His feelings range over a lot of things but he doesn't show much more grief over the loss of his relationship with Lois than with Jimmy. I was really disappointed in that. And what about his nodding off when Lois begins to admit her feelings to him at the end?

c.

This was such a beautiful, touching story. I almost didn't read it after I saw the warning, but I just watched this episode last night, so I decided to go ahead. I thought when watching the show that if Clark had thought about it more, he would have never put Lois in that danger. He would have done something else, anything else. The fact that he did what he did was, I think, the result of many days of stress and fear. So, if it had gone wrong, I can see how the guilt and sadness would have been overwhelming. Thank you!

For my own conscience, I need to say two things about this latest discussion about Lois deathfic. First, that I won't criticize Terri for writing his story, and that I don't for a moment doubt that he wrote it because he was so honestly moved by Rachel's video.

But the second thing I need to say is that I agree with Carol's views. I do think it's truly depressing that we see as many Lois deathfics here as we do.

I *think* - and I may certainly be wrong - that many, perhaps most, female LNC fans have come to LNC mainly because of Clark (make that Dean Cain's portrayal of Clark). I also think that many of Dean-Clark's female fans respond to their hero *precisely* because of the combination of physical strength and emotional vulnerability that he projects. Because it is this aspect of him that they love, they'll tend to see him as emotionally more vulnerable than the the TV series actually warrants. If you love a character for his vulnerability, you may want to create situations where you can explore his vulnerability as much as possible and make him as devastated as possible.

Also, if a female fan writes a story where she kills Lois and makes Clark devastated, I think that, perhaps, she can also imagine that her own story continues in such a way that she herself gets to console Clark for the loss of Lois.

All this leads to, I think, an LNC fanon with a somewhat exaggerated compassion for Clark and a lack of compassion for Lois. I don't mind any sort of compassion for Clark, don't get me wrong, but a lack of compassion for Lois pains and bothers me.

Ann

Two words... TOGOM fics. That's why I've loved writing TOGOM fics so much: it's exploring Lois's reaction to Clark's death. And do you want to count the number of TOGOM fics out there?

Seriously, though, I'm getting a distinct sense of deja-vu about this discussion. It's also kind of off the topic of the story, and I'm sure that Terry would like to receive feedback on his lovely, touching, poignant and heart-rending story. I liked it very much indeed, Terry.


Wendy

This comment is not directed at anyone in particular, just a bit of rambling.

While I would have liked to have seen Clark's reaction when Lois was supposedly killed in the ElectroWhammy... I don't particularly like *real* Lois or Clark deathfics.

Terry I did like yours because I felt like Clark was a little reckless to do what he did to Lois by freezing her, without seeming to really try anything else first. So I enjoyed your take on what a loss Lois would have been to everyone if she had died because of that. And I enjoyed what a hero you portrayed her as.

If I'm going to read a deathfic, I prefer that it has a happy ending. I've written a Lois deathfic myself in Remember Me, but it was one that could be fixed and had a happy ending - and also proved how much Clark needed her (therefore how important she was) and what lengths he was willing to go to in order to get her back.

I'll admit that I haven't written a Clark deathfic yet. Mainly because I'm not sure how I'd bring him back, and I refuse to write a story where one of them dies permanently - it's just not my style. But I've written plenty of stories where I put Clark in mortal danger. In one story I dang well near killed him. Lois thought she had lost him and I explored her angst a little bit there.

But anyway, I digress, this is Terry's fdk thread and I feel a little bad because this isn't actual fdk, so...

Terry, I apologize and this is the last comment I personally will make... I did read your story, I did cry, and I do think you have a wonderful talent for writing. It was sad, but it was beautiful.

Thanks!

(And I too love that vid - She's - Rach? Are you out there? Do you hear me? COME BACK!!!)

If the Lois deathfics were like the TOGOM deathfics, so that Lois didn't actually die in those stories, you wouldn't hear a single word of complaint from me, Wendy.

But I'll say this. Even though I haven't read Terry's story and likely won't, kudos to Terry for being brave enough to make Lois die as a direct consequence of Clark's actions. Indeed, she died because he deliberately used his superpowers on her. And Lois agreed to let him do that to her because she wanted to help Clark. It certainly makes Clark's grief more interesting if Lois sacrificed her life for him, and he was the one who deliberately put her life in danger, deliberately exposed her to horrible danger, and then was unable to save her.

Ann

Possibly off topic, but what the heck. If it is moved elsewhere (or deleted) I completely understand. Kudos, to Terry and CC Malo for provoking such interesting dialogue.

Ann writes:
All this leads to, I think, an LNC fanon with a somewhat exaggerated compassion for Clark and a lack of compassion for Lois. Because I am a feminist, this is something that pains and bothers me.
--

Hmm. I wouldn't say these are necessarily mutually exclusive. I mentioned the "prevalent" view of Clark as more vulnerable than Lois, but this is from my own --admitedly short-- experience in the fandom. Fandoms are strange things--I can cite something from my last fandom, X-files, as an example of how things become interpreted in ways that may or may not correlate with the series. In the show, one of the characters never voices a certain ethnic identification, but it appears with surprising (to me) frequency in a plethora of fic, discussions, etc. Someone mentioned the fanon vs canon thing and yes, I think that might explain some of it.

However, I personally (and this is where I might run into some trouble, this is my humble opinion), see Clark as being more emotionally vulnerable. He's 'suffered' less than Lois (who comes from a not so nice family and has been in not so nice relationships, etc) and because of this, doesn't have the emotional protection that she has developed. My "compassion" or sympathy for Clark stems from the recognition that he's more liable to reel from the damage than Lois. However, that doesn't mean I lack compassion for her. And it certainly doesn't mean that I'm indifferent to her suffering.

In fact, sympathy to Clark is not without a bit of condescention. 'Poor little Clark who doesn't know the way of the world, who hasn't been broken in yet,' so to speak. I can't call this an anti-feminist position, since I don't feel the same towards Lois which means, if any thing, that I see her as "superior" to Clark (I am biased, but I doubt most of you don't have a marked preference). But neither is it a feminist position either, if that's how you want to think of things, since it does not put them on the same level.

In the end though, my opinion has nothing to do with the characters' gender, but rather with wordliness. I think I'll leave it here, but I don't think I'm the only one whose "sympathetic" view of Clark is without an automatic devaluation of Lois.
I am more than happy to continue this discussion elsewhere, gender is an subject of particular interest to me.

Terry, beautiful story. Very, very realistic and well-done.



We need more stories like this one.

Terry, what a wonderfully well written story this is. Oh, the angst that Clark must feel to know he is responsible for Lois' death.

Even with Lois' video, I kind of wondered why Superman wasn't at least charged with involuntary manslaughter. Somehow I don't think a real district attorney would be so forgiving.

I also appreciate the warning that this was a deathfic. I just recently read another very good story on this board that had no warning. I thought it was a comedy and then wham, Superman is dead. (So there are fics where Superman dies from kryptonite.) There was nothing building up to it in the story, either.

I'm going to be bold and say that if you don't want to read a story because it's a deathfic, then don't make a post that you aren't going to read it - just don't read it and let it be. I hope I don't upset anyone by saying that, but I figure I'll get major flack over it!

I for one have always seen Clark as emotionally stronger than Lois. Yes, Clark is very vulnerable and shows his emotions. That's not the same as being emotionally strong or emotionally weak. (I speak as a nurse with many years of psychiatric experience.)

Please note that some of the feedback here is off topic and there was another thread started about that. I'm probably also guilty, but I hope not too much.

Terry, this was a moving and wonderful story! Congrats...

Oh man, you convey tragedy without an ounce of melodrama. I so envy you that, and really admire your voice.

I *loved* Jimmy's choked-up vow of support for Clark. Bill Henderson's clenched fist. Clark counting the days, minutes since Lois. Such a poignant, effective... gut-kick.

And most especially, because it felt so completely real:

Wonderful.

CC

Felt I'd better read the story, given I'd commented.

I was quite surprised. Clark Killed Lois!!

And yet that was a possibile outcome of the risk he took in freezing her in the actual episode. Have to say that I had thought of this episode as an example to use in one of my comments above to show that Clark's feelings for Lois aren't as profound in the earlier part of the show as fanfic makes them out to be (well most fanfic ) I remembered when I first saw that episode how shocked I was by his willingness to play Russian roulette with her life.

Perhaps Superman was coldly rationale at that point, and saw it as purely a numbers thing - one life for two.

He has a horrible choice to make at the point when he freezes Lois (let's leave aside the surprsing fact that neither he nor Lois could think of another way out of the dilemma) He has to choose between the parents he loves and the woman he loves. He chooses his parents, and with that decision he lets us know the shallowness of his love for Lois. As well, he doesn't even have the compasssion to tell her he's Clark at this point. He still holds out on her.

Of course he's guilt ridden afterward, in this story, haunted by his memories of Lois. Terry writes these bits very movingly, I was quite convinced that there really was a ghost. And genuiinely convinced that Clark felt remorse for killing Lois.

And yet, I kept thinking - he's like the guy in the joke who kills his parents and then throws himself on the mercy of the court because he's an orphan.

Like others, I was surprised that Superman wasn't charged with manslaughter - maybe it's true that some people are above the law.

I was a bit discomforted by Lois's video before she died - it seemed a bit over the top. Sadly, too, I was reminded of those tragic martyr's videos we've seen all too often on the news, and that too made me squirm.

Anyway - it was an interesting read and reminded me of what I'd forgotten about the show - that in S1 and 2, Clark wasn't as much in love with Lois as I sometimes like to think. I'm wondering, if that was your real purpose, Terry, to remind us of that, and if so - well done!

c. (really should stick to my rule about not reading deathfic -am now depressed)

edit: (just saw CC Aiken's post and I too liked that bit she quoted about the cateloguing - it showed us that rational Clark, letting us know that he would move on - it was a good way to put it. CC's quote also remindeed me that I was touched by Henderson and Jimmy's grief - understated, and so we knew it was real)

Oh, this is interesting! Because while we both liked the same quote, Carol, we read it differently. (Surprise!! )

To me, that look into Clark's head is a wonderful, smart way to show his deep grief. It's like he's not really there. These are events he is watching from behind a glass. Perry, Jimmy, and Bill are all free to show their feelings; something he can't even begin to do because it's too impossible

Also, when he goes home afterwards and just sits in the chair doing nothing-- same thing. I like that so much better than if he'd thrown himself to the ground, wept, wailed, primal cry, etc.

Really cool, Terry. I'm a fan.

CC

After great pain, a formal feeling comes...


Yes! This is exactly what I meant when I said the story was restrained. Clark's grief is restrained, private, and that's exactly in character for him, I think. He's in that "formal feeling" stage of grief, which I find much more touching than wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I much prefer it when an author leaves me room to find my own emotional response to a story, as Terry does here. I'm left feeling somewhat uncomfortable - and unmoved - by stories that ram grief or any other strong emotion down the readers' throats. Usually I finish those completely dry-eyed and feeling like a cold-hearted snake because I haven't gone through a box of tissues.

Terry took things we all know - flashbacks from the show, bits and pieces of Clark's characterization, and Lois's...and Henderson's, and Perry's, and Jimmy's, etc., and wove them together beautifully without ever once telling his readers exactly how they should feel about them. Some people seem to think that Clark *should* feel guilty, should maybe even be prosecuted as Superman. Others seem to think that his own guilt and loss are punishment enough, or that Lois's tape and assertion that the freezing was her choice is enough to exonerate him. This, to me, is the sign of a good story.

Caroline

lol - true

c. (who can't get over the big fact: Clark killed her! How heartless is that?
But that's another matter of interpretation too: what matters more - his killing her or the beauty of his remorse?)

I don't think that Clark should necessarily feel guilty over what happened - it was really Lois' choice.

I agree that it would be terrible for Superman to be charged with manslaughter but I was thinking more about what would really happen. Terry, have you or would think of doing an alternate version where he is charged with involuntary manslaughter. No, I don't mean change this story. I just think it might be interesting to see a second story. I have actually written a story where poor Clark ends up in prison - I'll post it eventually, but I'd love to see your take on it.

Would the courts really go after someone in this situation? Even if he wasn't Superman? As for why he did it, I think at least he wasn't thinking of failure. I can't see the heartlessness in the gravity of the situation. He's too involved for it to be heartless. An example:

This makes me think that he went into the situation knowing he'd fail. I think that makes all the difference. He says above he doesn't want to do it, but in the abscence of another route, I think he simply thought that he wouldn't fail (he says "risk" her life, so he's hesitant to put her in danger--I'm not sure if its the same as "I don't want her to die"--the latter carries some possibility of failure).

That said I love this quote, its really brings in the bittersweetness of the situation. How tragic that his double identity should stand as an obstacle in this moment (and how that mirrors that it be the cause, however indirectly to her death). Can the knowledge that she loves him change anything? In this situation it doesn't seem to. It opens up a lot of other questions too. Is is better that he knew she loved him? Or is that like salt on the wound for the rest of his days?

Yes, they would in some instances. Think about the cases where a non-inebriated driver kills someone in a car accident. Usually nothing would be done, but if they could prove somehow that the action was somehow intentional or reckless, or other unusual circumstances then yes, they would be charged with involuntary manslaughter.

Actually given the case in this story, Superman could actually be charged with voluntary manslaughter and dare I say some type of lower murder charge (The different types are called different things in different states. For example - some states call a planned murder premeditated while other would say first degree murder.)

Hi Terry,

I cried...I admit it.. I cried when I read your story.

It was so well written and so powerful, I felt what Clark was feeling.

To see everyone else's pain and know that he was the cause, to carry that knowledge was heart wrenching.

And this:

Ah, pure genius!!!!!

Thank you for sharing it and keep up the good work.

FinLi

on the subject of criminal charges: I did a bit of reasearch on this issue when I was writing about Corban's death. The likely charge would be manslaughter (criminal negligence). It would be very odd for the DA's office to overlook that. (that's not to say they wouldn't ) Then, it would be for the judge (and jury if present) to decide, of course.

Again, that's a really interesting quote becuase it cuts to the heart of the issue.

Does it show a CK/S who is rationalizing after the fact? Regardless of how he feels, he did the deed. So while he is telling himself one thing about how he felt about Lois, his *actions* indicate subconscioulsy he felt differently. I think, because Terry has written about Clark's feelings so beautifully, we're tempted to forget about the horror of what Clark actually did do.

How much more honest would Clark have been if he had said instead:
"I didn’t want to freeze her. I didn’t want to risk her life, but I had to save my parents’ lives. But, idiot I am, I let her convince me."?

Also, I'm not sure I buy the "she made me do it, it's not my fault" argument - probably because I don't want to admit that CK/S is so weak-willed (unethical?) that he would accept her offer. But, in the show, he did accept.

You ask what else Clark could have done? Well, maybe take a bullet for his parents and Lois? True, it's Lois that the bad guy wants dead. But up the offer of a dead Superman and any crook's heart would beat a tad faster. Get some Kryptonite, etc.

Surely that's what a gentleman would have done? He wouldn't have let the woman he supposedly loves make the grand sacrifice. That that thought doesn't automatically appear to have crossed his mind makes me wonder how deep his feelings for Lois really went. Isn't that our intsinctive reaction when someone we love is threatened? "Take me, instead."

It's interesting that it was Lois who was prepared to make the sacrifice and not Superman. To him, deep down, Lois is expendable. Sure, he'll miss her, but...

Terry does well to remind romantics like me who've forgotten the darkness of Clark Kent in that episode.

c.

It seems that if I remember correctly that the episode alluded to something to the effect of them getting Superman instead, but they weren't interested.

CC: I'm curious about your story about Corben - as in Metallo? What was the story and who got charged? Interesting.

Again, Terry, great story...

Just checked the script, no mention of Superman. It was Nigel who wanted Lois dead - Mazik didn't care one way or another about killing Lois. Mazik had promised to release M & J when Clark stole the jewels, but then he reneged on his promise and asked Clark for more.

c.

Wow. That was one heck of a fic. I'm usually not into deathfics, but it was so well-written. It was actually quite interesting to see what would have happened had the freezing planned not worked....what everyone's reactions would be. You really nailed everything!

Jen

As another famous character once said, "Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle!"

When I posted this piece, I expected some negative feedback about the subject matter. In fact, I would have been disappointed had some people not gotten upset about yet another Lois deathfic. As I have stated before, I hate death in all its forms. I do not celebrate it. When I go to funerals, I am unable to pass before the open coffin to say goodbye to the departed, and I've taken some flak because of that.

So I understand that there are different points of view and different opinions about deathfics on this site. But I did not write this to mirror anything in our society. I did not write this because I secretly hate Lois. I did not write this because I hate women.

I wrote this piece because the brilliant video "She's" touched my heart and my spirit. If you've watched the video, you've seen grief contained within a barrier which will never be breached, grief which was caused by Clark's own actions. That was the feeling I was trying to get across, and I chose to show the collateral fallout from Lois's death also, because the death of one person never occurs in a vacuum. It always affects many others.

Also, I did not dream up the whole "freeze Lois and fool the bad guys" scenario. If I had, maybe some of the charges leveled against me would hold water. But this is from the show! I agree, it was a dumb idea from any reasonable, real-life point of view, but the writers did this to make a dramatic statement that Lois loved Clark more than Superman, and that Clark loved Lois enough to let her do something he thought was nuts. Yes, I think they could have come up with any number of things which would have been better (sounds like a plot untwist waiting to happen, doesn't it?) but they didn't, at least not in the episode. That's what I was working with and working from, not from some deep-seated vitriol in my soul directed against women.

Those who posted to tell me only that they didn't read because of the warning, thank you. That's what the warning was for.

Those of you who quoted passages you liked or described parts that moved you, thank you. It goes without saying that such feedback is like a warm hug to a writer.

Those who posted to let me know they didn't like it, thank you. My preferences, my likes, my dislikes, and my cultural prejudices aren't identical to yours, and they should not be. I respect our differences and celebrate them, because without them the vast majority of high-quality writing on this site (and others like it) would not exist.

Now for some Q & A (my personal opinion, not to be taken as absolute truth).

Should Superman have frozen Lois in the show? Yes, because it advanced the dramatic and romantic story lines.

Should he have frozen her in real life? No, because it was incredibly dangerous.

Did Clark love his parents more than he loved Lois? No. You don't show love to a person by denying that person the opportunity to put his or her life on the line for you. If Clark had told Lois, "No, I won't let you help, I won't let you risk your life," wouldn't he have been guilty of trying to control her? Besides, his first reaction when Jason demanded Lois's body was to put her on a plane and have her fly far, far away. Besides, if we think Clark should have taken a bullet for Lois, why can't Lois take a bullet for Clark or for his parents?

The upshot of this is simple. This is a story inspired by a video which explores what-might-have-been. It is presented here for your enjoyment, and while many of the questions raised in these posts are not only valid but worthy of discussion, I suggest that we keep to the subject here, which is this story.

Did you like it? Let me know. Did you hate it? Let me know. Did you even read it? If not, tell me that, and be sure to let me know why (because that's perfectly valid), but don't bust me or the story without reading it first. That kind of response is far closer to a flame than a constructive comment. And while I understand that no one can take in any input without running it through his or her own personal cultural filter, please be willing to admit that you have such a filter. Your opinions are worth reading and considering, but please be willing to admit that they're your opinions. Not everyone thinks the same thing or the same way (which is good and proper and right), so let's allow others to show their differences without ascribing evil motives to anyone.

Thanks for letting me vent. And thanks for caring enough to read and comment.

Very good point, Terry:

I wholeheartedly agree:

Bravo!! Well said, Terry:

As I said in another post, I'm willing to give any well written story a try. If the author gives me his/her time to write the story, edit it, spell check it, check punctuation, etc. I'll certainly try to read it. I'd like to think others felt the same. I just wish I had time to read all the well written stories.

Any thoughts on my challenge of a second, alternate story?

Deathfic's is not my preference either so I've only skimmed it but I thought it looked extremely well written. Clark's living zombie state seemed to flow from his character. You certainly picked the most agonizing moment in the series for Lois to die, Terry. After Clark has decided to tell her but before he could come square with her.

I always disliked those episodes where the villain’s entire plot rests on Superman's goodness. This one took it one step further.

The villain expects Superman to kill one of his friends to save his parents, but if he were ready to do that why wouldn't he rather kill the evil mastermind himself? Superman knows who the kidnapper is and Mazik knows that Superman knows.

It reminds me of the war of Spanish succession where Lois XIV France was on the ropes, and was willing to concede practically every point the coalition demanded. But the peace negotiation came to a stop when Austria insisted that, if Lois:s son Filip didn't step down the throne of Spain, France would have to send troops to depose him. Lois XIV declined with: If I have to wage war I rather do it against my enemies then my children.


Classicalla,
It's Yesterday upon a stair . Superman gets charged for his rather highhanded disposal of Corben. Melting his metal body, killing him, The story is well worth a read.

Thanks Arawn. CC sent me an email - it's on my list to read. I'm curious as to why Superman would have been charged, though. In the script, one of the Vales actually snatched the kryptonite heart out of Corben's chest. I can't find that particular episode. Was it different than the script? (Way off topic - sorry.)

Thanks, Terry, for your gracious explanation of what you intended with this story.

I'm not sure that I agree with your rationale for Clark's decision to freeze Lois - I think there's a larger issue of moral or ethical repsonsibility there, especially given that she'd made it clear that she was motivated by her desire to help Clark. But that's a discussion issue for elsewhere. It's not a simple question.

There's absolutely nothing in your story that is out of character for Clark - everything he did can be supported by what we saw in the episode. You've reminded us of the darkness in his character, and I thank you for that, too.

c.

I love your stories, Terry, so when I saw you wrote something short, I made time to read it. I'm so glad I did, if glad is the right word. Really, it was tragic. But well-written.

I think what really struck me here was that I know of people who feel this way, upon losing someone they love, especially if they feel responsible, are tempted to commit suicide. Some even do. But, for Clark, that would be a lot harder than for your average person, wouldn't it? And knowing beyond all doubt that you were responsible?

You painted him stuck in a moment and never able to move forward again. So, in this case, I felt his suffering even more intensely.

Great story.

Terry!!



Once again, Thank you!

Rach
Very good job!

Hi Terry,

You know why I dug up this old one. Let’s see…

So, he should not switch to pitch-black, non-glossy spandex, a black on anthracite emblem and move to Gotham to…help out the local knightlife that dwells there in the dark? Can you imagine the not-fun a certain Cat would have with that new addition? It would be worse than when the Imposter showed up.

Oooh! Wait, shouldn’t H.G. Wells show up to fix things?

Wow, facing death most definitely changed her outlook, considering how much she dragged this question out during their marriage.

Good thing it’s not yet election time or D.A. Clemmons would be there and Superman on trial.

Discussing the use of green crystals to bring in a dangerous alien after all? Either that or Henderson’s not married and the ADA fits his dating profile.

/points at the earlier Henderson bit/

Umm…you moved her forward in time, didn’t you? So, there *is* hope for H.G. Wells showing up!

H.G.Wells: I already ensured a happy future for Mr. Olson. My work here is done.

Isn’t it sad that it’s still several years before DVDs become en vogue and the marvel’s of lossless video preservation?

Hmm…so, we have a woman whom Clark already almost mistook for Lois. We already have a well established concept of people who have a grudge against Superman using fake Loises and Kryptonite bullets. This has all the markings of a criminal mastermind in the making.

Wait, they do have Ghosts in the LnC universe. And Lois most definitely has open issues left to deal with.

So, this is like when in a twin star system, the red super giant collapses into a black hole and then starts shredding the hull of the second star, until only a naked, shriveled core remains, the new binary system giving off regular radio pulses but being generally a less-than-hospital place to be around?

This sounds like a more than a couple of months or even just a couple of years have passed. Did maybe pass closer to decade, maybe even two decades?

Ah, okay, so it’s not *that* kind of situation. Okay. Okay.

Very sad. I did read the comments thread but I’m not going to touch the (no longer?) hot topics (well, the thread’s gone cold, I’m sure the topic can quickly heat up again). The story was certainly a very introspective piece on what could have happened. I believe you handled it very well, Terry!

Michael

Hi Terry,

This story is one of the most heart-wrenching, devastating and sad stories I have ever read. I think it is also one of the best. I think you have described Clark's feelings perfectly - you had me crying almost from the start to the ending.
Lucy's hatred towards Superman adds to Clark's misery and at the same time he sees so many similarities between her and her sister. I can't see this Clark ever opening up to anyone again, especially since he even built a barrier between himself and his parents. I would imagine him abandoning Clark to be Superman full time. But he feels the hero is responsible for Lois' death in the first place.

Great story and thank you for sharing it.

Hey, Michael!

Sorry to trick you on the time frame, but when I wrote this I figured a year would be a good benchmark for all the progress Clark hasn't made dealing with his grief. Henderson and Paula Dolan as an item? Maybe. I wanted to slip a little sliver of hope into the future of some of the others (see also Perry and Alice and Jimmy and Penny) without minimizing Clark's pain, because that was the focal point of the tale.

Thank you, Kathryn, for your kind words. You've homed in on the source of his ongoing grief, and the sequel that I have written will deal with his state of mind between Clark and Superman as well.

See y'all on the boards!