S9, E14 - "Conspiracy" - Let's see, how did that go again? CLARK! You, lunkhead! What's wrong with you?????? Is he trying to prove that Lois is the brains of their partnership? Okay, back to the beginning of this episode.

We learn that it wasn't just Zod's unit and Jor-El whose blood was donated to the cloning project, but also some other people from Kandor (I guess this explains why they keep calling themselves Kandorians instead of Kryptonians. [Linked Image] ) So, someone's sister has been brought back (too many minor characters to remember all of their names). Anyway, Clark (via Chloe) has gotten her a new identity, and she's working in a bookshop and *LOVING* it! And why wouldn't she? It's a much less stressful job than what she had with the Kadorians: biological testing of the human via torture. Well, I guess we found the group who made Metallo. [Linked Image] Tess must have been right all along.

Anyway, this nice sweet bookshop owner is kidnapped by a crazy man who looks like an extra from the Hell Raiser films. (That and he also kind of looks like the actor who played the Hawkman out of his uniform. I was a little confused by that, because that's who I thought it was at first and I kept thinking WTF! Hawkman's gone psycho!) Turns out to be another guy though. Some dead body who the nice Kandorians reanimated (i.e. brought back to life). Gee, it's almost attack of the Zombies part II. His lair was pretty creepy and freaky though.

So, this crazy guy kidnaps Lois away from her almost date with Clark who once again was too busy to show... losing all the points there, Clarkie boy. He chains Lois to a keyboard and tells her to write up his these aliens kidnapped me and brought me back to life to do experiments on me story. Lois, understandably, thinks he's delusional psycho, because he's psycho. (The differences between the two aren't that big.)

Meanwhile, Clark is searching unsuccessfully for the missing Kandorian. Zod does his own research, using the DP (good way to not use your noggin there, Smallville) and finds the crazy man's letters to Lois. Interesting thing here, Lois never received any of these letters. Someone (in the mailroom?) filed them away without letting Lois decide whether or not it was a story worth investigating. Perhaps he should have hand delivered his crazy message to her like Dr. Platt.

I find it funny that Zod impersonates a reporter by borrowing someone's glasses and press-pass and is automatically assumed to be a reporter. Maybe if Clark started to wear HIS glasses, he would actually remember to use his brain sometimes. [Linked Image] Zod finds Lois, tells her he's FBI, and starts to free her when the psycho walks in and shoots Zod, recognizing him as a bad Kandorian guy by his dogtags. Really? People? Really? Isn't there a better way to show family pride without alarming the nuts you've tortured out there? (I noticed in the next episode that Zod actually sports his crest on his back in a huge tattoo* as well. Overkill, much?)

As the true heroine that Lois is, she comforts Zod and tries to make him feel better until Clark arrives and saves the day. First order of the day, zipping Lois away so that she doesn't figure out his secret. Really, Clark? THAT's your priority, here? Crazy nut accidentally and conveniently electrocutes himself after seeing Clark's Blur side. Clark frees the crazy guy's kidnap victim and then warms her up using a blanket. Apparently, he hasn't learned the full array of uses for his heat vision. Either that, or the writers thought it felt too intimate, being that she's only wearing her underwear.

Zod dies from his wounds after begging Clark not to take him to the hospital. Instead of telling Zod "Hey, no. They can't tell you're an alien by your blood. I've been in the hospital a dozen times in the last 9 years alone and they've never figured it out." Nor after Zod dies does Clark say to himself, "Oh, dear. I guess I couldn't save him like Dad asked. Win some. Lose some. At least, I didn't kill him myself, crazy nutso guy did." Lunkhead gives him ONE drop of his own blood. Uh-oh. Somebody has bonded with the bad guys! [Linked Image]

Why this was such a lunkheaded decision, if Smallville ever made one:
1) Zod recovers.
2) Zod gets Clark's powers.
3) Zod now knows there's something that will hurt Clark enough to make him bleed, so he can be killed.
4) Zod now knows how to empower his troops without the red sun RAO tower, by giving them one drop of his own blood (or better yet, Clark's).

Sometimes, Clark, it's better to let dead bad guys stay dead. Haven't you learned anything about the psycho crazy nutso guy? If you bring someone back to life, they WILL try to kill you for it.

Somehow the crazy Chess people have stolen Lois's notes. If I were her, I wouldn't leave anything of importance in my desk at work.

* Total Aside Question: If you've got super healing powers, ala Clark, if you get a tattoo when your vulnerable, wouldn't it somehow "heal" it away?

VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.