Hey, Michael, sorry about the long response time on this. I'm trying to finish up this Investigation section of Wrong Clark and RL keeps hitting me over the head with a frying pan.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/u075.gif)
I'll work on responding to your FDK-FDK-FDK this weekend. Forgive me.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/n050.gif)
I actually have to work on the one for which I bid on Corrina’s beta skills. Umm…have to get started on that one, actually…
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Soooo, no?
EW: (I saw it only had 2 in the TOC and you mentioned unposted parts).
ER: Definitely only after it’s done. /looks for mojo-at-home assembly kit/
/Searches for Austin Powers lost mojo/
Some you're one of those I'll post it when it's complete people now? That would be difficult for me.
EW: I feel like I'm taking three steps back for every step forward on that one.
ANOTHER LOIS: I *knew* it! I *knew* there was madness to the method.
No, *ME* The Writer, not the characters. They're more like take one step forward, fly west a state. Take one step forward. Fly west. They're somewhere over Asia at the moment.
LOIS: So, he’s flattered but won’t go for it? Darn. Another gay one.
Ever since that visit to Gotham and me getting res- erm helped out by that black man in tights, who’s so obviously gay, all I do is attract gay men.
CLARK: He's my best friend.
LOIS:
Well…Bruce could have done an undercover stint in Nepal and didn’t want to tell his reporter friend that he’s really Bruce Wayne?
BRUCE: And they think having *one* secret identity is hard to maintain.
CLARK: Really? I think one secret identity is so 20th century. In the 21st, I'm going to have 3-4.
LOIS:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/e045.gif)
Is the EW suggesting something?
ER: No, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the current moon phase.
CLARK: She's a werewolf?
Maybe he should show her a photo of himself in just a towel?
LOIS: And what kind of articles did you write while in Europe?
CLARK: Write? No, I didn't write. I was male model for French fashion magazines. Would you like to see my portfolio?
LOIS:
/clears throat/ So, nudes too?
CLARK: Well, only when they were tasteful.
Oh no you don’t! You stated perfectly ambiguously that Clark/Lois where wearing the red carnations. This could not have been a continuity mistake. Not from an EW routinely jumping around dimensions and times and not losing her breakfast along the way.
PREGNANT LOIS: No, that breakfast would be mine.
The only pregnant Lois I've written was in Missing Lois and I've crossed that plot off my list. Why doesn't anyone believe me?
ER: By following him and planting bugs in his apartment, like any normal person would do?
LOIS: That's the second date.
ER: So this is the interrogation equivalent first, second, and third degree to the dating-scheme of getting to first, second, and third base?
Let’s see…
First date is first degree is verbal interrogation.
Second date is second degree is intensive observation.
Third date is third degree is manually enhanced interrogation.
Fourth date is fourth degree is execution of the convicted.
So, would that be sex on the third date and kill him after he didn't call for a 4th date?
ER: Hmm… so, it really was Lois who was set up with Clark?
EW: They both can't be set up?
ACKBAR: It’s a trap!
It really is applicable everywhere!
EW: To start with.
LOIS: Sometimes, I finish with it just to keep things fresh.
ER: In case he gets fresh but isn’t looking too dangerous so she can take her time with the incapacitation?
Some guys don't deserve it until the end of the date. (Points to Claude in Green-Eyed Monster).
What if the HRL was actually female? What’s Batgirl’s occupation again?
ummmm. Crime fighter?
Alibi? So he has someone who can explain to the judges how it’s okay to keep his overseas-workforce in their pens like he does?
LAWYER: Luthor makes sure his workforce has fresh slop... er... food every day.
HRL: That blonde bombshell took me to her cabin in the woods on our second date!
ER: Did he just offer to recompense her for her time during an amorous outing?
EW: He said that he owed her a favor, not vice versa.
ER: No, actually, she provided an amorous service to him, and Clark stated that he now owns her compensation. That it’s a favor and paid after the fact only means that Lois isn’t very experienced (yet) in that line of work.
CLARK:
And here I thought English was my first language.
CLARK: She brought it up first.
ER: But she can also bring him down with one knee-jerk reaction.
CLARK: /would like to see her try/
LOIS: Clark, what do you think of my new shiny green ankle bracelet? I bought it on a recent trip to Smallville when I did an expose on weed-farming that is apparently going on in the Midwest.
CLARK: /on his knees, groveling/ Please. I'll do anything you want. Please take off your jewelry and throw it away.
ER: Because she second-screened him during their first date?
EW: She did it under the table so it wasn't overt.
ER: Yes, but what if Clark had done it?
LOIS: That’s what filled-up wine glasses are for.
Nowadays, people are overt about leaving their iPhones on the table and rudely checking texts and messages while you talk.
LOIS: Oh, dear. Did you phone just land in that lobster tank? Pity. Now, as I was saying...
ER: /no comprehendo/ A *politician*? Next he’ll believe an armed robber that he’s just doing a charity collection at the bank foyer.
CLARK: That's what the Invisible Man told me, Officer.
LOIS: Perry! I want a new partner. Someone a bit more experienced.
RALPH: /volunteers/
LOIS: Not THAT kind of experience.
Yep. I can’t re-find it right now, but there’s quite a different palate in Easter Asia to what we are used to. Colleague of mine went on an South-China tour once and got to taste fried spider legs.
Well, that's the only way I'd want them on my plate.
CLARK: Change in temperatures never really bother me.
LOIS: <happy her man can keep up with her mood swings>
ER: Yeah, he’s a keeper.
RALPH: Door mat.
CLARK: Hey, at least I get some!
LOIS: /mad/
CLARK: Okay, maybe not tonight, but still…
That’s our Lois. Always ready to bite off more than she can chew.
CLAKR: I’m pretty tough, so…
No biting?
ER: No, more fun during the chewing?
CLARK:
Please, no.
CLARK: So, according to that morning talk show I accidently watched, Lois Lane isn’t dating anyone. Even her best friend Linda calls her frigid. Now, if even that is an exaggeration, does that mean I will not have to worry about giving her the curse? Ever?
No, especially if you have heat vision.
CLARK: Well, er...
nobody said anything about that.
He thinking that you catch more Loises with chocolate than with Lex?
CLARK: I can catch more Lexes with a chocolate filled Lois.
LOIS: Say what?
CLARK: As my partner.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e030.gif)
Because she's brilliant.
JAPANESE CHAP: Uncultured white guy…
CLARK: I know.
ER: So, SHE should have gone out with Mayson.
EW: What if Clark had been set up with Dan and Lois with Mayson.
BRUCE: What? I always thought how you ran away from every skirt that looked your way…?
LUCY: She really doesn’t like men.
CLARK: I was *rescuing* someone else. I wasn't running away.
LOIS: I hate women more than I hate men. You can't trust a word they say.
CLARK:
So, since you're a woman and I shouldn't trust what you're saying about women, which means...
LOIS: I don't usually attend church, but I think if I can go in a war zone I could handle one day at church.
CLARK: Um...
ER: Did she just accept? Maybe Clark should hurry up to close the deal?
CLARK: Great! So, it's a date. By the way, there's something you should know...
ER: I think she’d be mad if he told her on their first anniversary.
EW: First dating anniversary.
ER: So, Lois wouldn’t be mad that she has to wait about three years until she finally gets to consummate her marriage with Clark?
LOIS: If Canon-Lois could wait three years, I can, too! Now, where’s the chocolate /mad/
Why three years before they get married? They didn't spend the first 2 as friends in this universe.
EW: I always find it funny that you're predictions are accurate and you don't notice it.
ER: I don’t want to presume and like to keep my options open in case the road traveled is not the most obvious one? Or the second most obvious one. Or the third… no, it’s usually one of the first two ten times out of eleven (sic)
Now, the gender-bender setup, that I might have made a joke about but never expected
In this story. In a romcom setup dating story, OTOH,
But it would have been funny.
LUCY: So.... What did you think of Mayson?
LOIS: He's very nice.
LUCY: He?!
ER: See? Also, once he has a job in Metropolis, does that by default also make him the best investigative journalist in Metropolis?
LOIS: No.
ER: That’s an…interesting logic.
LOIS: Metropolis is smarter than the rest of the world. So, being the best here is more difficult than being the best anywhere else.
LOIS: This won't work. Your grammar is atrocious. Hey, I just realized. You're perfect for the Met Star. Have a nice life.
ER: Interesting. I always thought Lois was the one without a clue for spelling or proper structure (e.g. “The FBI said” instead of “An FBI spokesman” – LOIS: Spokeswoman! – “whatever… said”).
Yes, but a) would she admit it, and b) wouldn't she still find someone with the same trait lacking?
CLARK: Awkward isn't the right word.
LOIS: Pulitzer worthy?
PERRY: Not if you sleep with the subject to get the story, Lois.
LOIS: Drat!
ER: So, Perry would make sure she wouldn’t get recognition for exposing her boyfriend’s secrets? Is that the reason she flunked out of the Lex Luthor investigation?
CLARK: And because she didn't listen to reason...
