Description: A man walks into a bar to meet a blind date.
Oooooh! I know this one! Is it the one where Dr. Lite blinded Lois instead of Superman?
I whipped up this unbeta’d bit of fluff yesterday and couldn’t wait to share it.
Also…where do you take to time from
He was told to look for the woman with the red carnation. It was tacky, horribly tacky, but true.
Hey, it could have been worse. She could be wearing a Superman pin.
He didn’t even know why he accepted.
That was a lie. Clark knew.
He looks good enough to score on the first date?
He had one friend in Metropolis. An old friend from his time in Tibet.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/figuren/g080.gif)
And he set his good buddy up with one of the nice reporter ladies who are after his alter ego?
BATMAN:
I’m the alter ego. She was after *Bruce*!
the boatload of refugees that had crashed into the Hob’s River docks and were now in holding cells.
Held for destruction of property?
How bad did your life had to be when a holding cell was better than what you had left back home?
REFUGEE: No slave labor. We get food we don’t have to catch ourselves. No whippings so the guards can place bets on which one of us dies first.
His friend knew of a woman who would be perfect for Clark, a real truth and justice type.
So, not Linda then?
LOIS:
Hmm…Mayson?
LOIS:
She had a busy career, apparently, which meant that she didn’t have much time for dating either.
LOIS: I don’t date. It’s an archaic concept invented to make women feel they need a man to have succeeded.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/figuren/a110.gif)
: Do you need help with that bomb, Ms. Lane?
He doubted anyone could be perfect, let alone perfect for Clark.
DIANA PRINCE:
Did he really want perfect, anyway?
LOIS:
Suddenly, she dropped the carnation on the bar and slammed her hand down upon it. Turning away from both the smashed flower and the bar, the woman went to storm out of the room.
Did he wait too long? Did Lois decide she doesn’t want a quick tumble in the hay after all?
Her brunette bob swayed with her movement, fanning her face and revealing it strand of hair by strand of hair.
No. Way. It really *is* Lois!
.
.
.
She appeared both exceedingly annoyed and the most alluring woman Clark had ever seen.
Well, an annoyed Lois is like Cat-nip to a Clark.
His friend had been wrong. She was imperfect.
LOIS: What?
But Clark suspected she might be perfect for him.
Awwwww…
But she had promised her sister she would go on one date that wasn’t an interview.
Huh? Wait. *Two* dates with red carnations?
God. How was she supposed to get to know a man if she didn’t ask him a thousand questions to see what he was hiding?
By following him and planting bugs in his apartment, like any normal person would do?
LEX: The ER thinks I’m normal
He was new in town, the friend of the brother of a friend of a friend of a friend of her sister’s.
Hmm… so, it really was Lois who was set up with Clark?
It had taken Lucy four degrees of separation, or was it six, to find someone willing to date her sister.
And yet, Lucy hadn’t managed Mel Gibson.
His sense of style was rumored to be somewhat out there, but he believed in truth and he was terribly romantic.
Good thing they didn’t mention the job-speficics.
The carnations had been his idea. That should have been a red flag.
Huh. She thinks it had been Clark’s idea? Different setup after all? Or just a miscommunication?
If she were unlucky, her boss would be bailing her out of jail for assault, again.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/k085.gif)
?
Okay. Lois might have arrived a little late herself, but her source had called and told her that he had lied about some aspect of the information he had given to her.
Huh. Her original date already left?
Typical male. Always lying about something.
But why come clean in the end?
Normally, Lois would have stomped out of the bar, leaving the man and the carnation in her dust, but there was something open and honest about his expression, which made Lois pause.
Plus, he’d look good naked?
What was one drink, anyway?
ELLEN: That’s what I always say!
“I didn’t think you would show.”
He had been on time to the bar,
Hmm…I think he’d punctually enough and Lois managed to stand up her original date.
LEX: I’ll never take matchmaking again from my attorney. He’s so fried (sic).
if you don’t mind walking.”
What if they got mugged?
CLARK: How likely would it be that we get mugged…?
LOIS:
He would try to keep his feet on the ground.
Maybe some string tied to his foot?
“I have an interview with the Metropolis Star the day after tomorrow,” he said.
They say it’s the best paper in town.
LOIS:
Good bye, jerk!
CLARK:
“Perhaps, over time, I will make it into less of a rag,” he said.
“I hear that’s a good place to work. I wanted to interview with Perry White, but he isn’t hiring and when he is it’s all about who you know to get a word with him,”
One month later…
LOIS: Perry, I have had to up to here with my boyfriend getting there first. You either hire Clark or I move to Gotham!
Clark said with a frown. “I apparently don’t know the right people.”
She eyed him suspiciously. “I don’t do favors for strangers.”
Maybe if he put out first?
He grinned. “You agreed to go on a date with me. So, I guess I owe you one.”
Did he just offer to recompense her for her time during an amorous outing?
“I don’t date other reporters, either,” she stated.
So, she’s fine with the offer or compensation but averse to reporters?
That made him pause for a split second, and then he said, “I agree. Dating within our profession would be a challenge.”
And Lois Lane always does (sic) a challenge.
Her eyes flashed to his. “Reporters would lie, steal, and turn in their jaywalking mother for a story.”
LOIS: *check*. *check*. *check*.
he said instead, “Does that description include you?”
He likes to live precariously, doesn’t he?
She smiled. “I don’t know about that, but most of the crime in Metropolis is fresher.” She winced at her pun. “I didn’t mean…”
HOODLUM: Yo! Your purses. And the watches. Hmm…And I’ll take the dame for a spin, too.
He laughed. “Yes, but Metropolis has the sunshine. I hear Gotham City can suck the soul right out of a man.”
BATMAN: That’s a nasty rumor the Joker spread about me.
“Metropolis has the same problem,” she admitted. “Luckily, though, I’m a woman.”
“I was raised on a farm, yes, but I haven’t been a boy in over ten years,” he said, giving her a knowing look.
LOIS: So…he lost his boyhood to a highschool sweetheart, probably the local dairy queen or somesort and been a player ever since.
“They do speak English here. You didn’t need to order in Chinese to impress me.”
No, he ordered Chinese to make sure they held on the mystery meat.
“That must come in handy,” she said.
Still doesn’t help him understanding the fairer sex, though.
, she thought to herself how she wished she could carry him around in her pocket to use on some of her stories.
She…she…likes to have a little Clark handy for when she has needs?
When she looked back at her date, his expression seemed momentarily stunned
Because she second-screened him during their first date?
She knew that she mumbled to herself sometimes, but she didn’t think she did it loud enough for anyone else to hear.
Oops?
“I like to give them the benefit of the doubt,” he said.
A *politician*? Next he’ll believe an armed robber that he’s just doing a charity collection at the bank foyer.
Politicians are human and they can make mistakes too.”
POLITICAN: I didn’t know taking money and doing what the money-giver asked for was illegal! Honestly.
The waiter returned and placed a couple of teapots and an order of spring rolls on the table.
Traditional ones with locusts inside?
It was too bad he was a naïve fool, though. That smile he had just given her as if he were laughing at some inside joke meant that he was hiding something.
Naïve but hiding something?
“Yes, but with you, it’s two degrees hotter than that,” he replied, taking a sip of his water.
Did he just call her two degrees of hot?
“It’s my impression that wherever you go, you make men sweat,” he said.
Brazen.
She would rather make men sweat than ever be called an ice queen again.
So…cold sweat then?
She picked up her spring roll, dipped it into the pale yellow mustard, and took a large bite, all the while staring into his eyes. It stung her mouth, but she refused to back down. He wasn’t tougher than she was, and she would prove it.
That’s our Lois. Always ready to bite off more than she can chew.
CLAKR: I’m pretty tough, so…
Her mouth continued to heat up, burning up her nasal passages to her eyes, causing them to tear, but she didn’t look away.
She pulled her hand away. She didn’t need his condescension. He had seen her efforts to show him her strength as a weakness.
She stood up. “I should go,” she said.
Oh boy.
“I want what I assume most men want,” he said.
LOIS: So…a quick tumble in the hay?
Lots of money, a fast car, power, prestige, multiple bed partners?
The first one buys the rest?
“I don’t know a single man who wants any of those things,” she said.
Maybe if she stopped dating Ralph or politicians?
LEX:
“And you know the wants of all men?”
Is he asking her if she’s promiscuous? If her number would fill a supermarket?
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/e045.gif)
‘are’
“I beg your pardon,” Lois snapped.
or by how she is portrayed in Hollywood films.
Well…California is said to be the porn-capital of the world, so…
“Yes. If their prejudices about you were wrong, as I believed they were, then it shows that you’re open minded enough to see that your assumptions don’t hold any water either,” he replied. “Not all men lie.”
I’m not sure about that chain of evidence holding up.
In essentials, I am as any human male,”
Not a lie.
“No,” she replied, and watched as he quickly moved a couple of items to her plate. She gave him a long look.
“Try it first.”
Because if he told her, she wouldn’t eat it?
After he tried it and hadn’t died, she tentatively took a bite.
Yes, but would Fugu kill Superman?
He watched her with delight. “Sea cucumber,” he finally said, taking a bite of his dumpling.
“Get out of here. This doesn’t taste like cucumber at all,”
“What does yours say?” she asked. “Mine says: Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”
CLARK’s cookie: Put diamond with flaw on ring.
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
She chuckled and nudged him with her elbow. “Are you always this corny and romantic?”
Yes?
“It isn’t perchance because one of these two people is on a first name basis with Perry White and can give you an introduction, now is it?”
No.
“In what way will I see that you’re inherently flawed?” she asked.
He’s a male?
“How many dates would it take, then, for me to learn how you differ from all other men?” she asked. “Five? Ten? Fifty? A hundred?”
Just one. In a church. Followed by a group dinner and dance event.
“Let’s pretend for a moment that this isn’t our first date, but our first anniversary,” she said, scooting closer to him. “Now, tell me.” She set her hand on his knee and stared deeply into his eyes.
I think she’d be mad if he told her on their first anniverasy.
She crossed her arms self-consciously. “What if I told you that I’m saving myself for marriage?”
CLAUDE: Liar liar panties on fire!
“What if I told you that I’ve already fallen in love with you?”
She’s good, isn’t she?
“I’d remind myself that it was you who told me that all reporters lie and would sell out their mothers for a headline.”
Why couldn’t he recall seeing her byline in the Daily Planet, then?
Huh.
“I wish you luck, and I’m sorry I can’t be the man you expected, Mayson.”
She drew her hand to her chest and patted it. “My name isn’t Mayson!” she shouted.
Clark sputtered, “But… but you… you had… red carnation.”
“Are you even Dan?”
You know, had they turned in for a nightcap, this could have been awkward, with Clark whispering ‘Mayson, oh Mayson!’ the whole time.
“The best investigative reporter in Metropolis?” he amended.
She shrugged. “Yes, I’m that Lois Lane. Don’t you mean the world?”
CLARK: No, that would be me.
“I cover the world, remember,” he said with mirthful wink.
See? Also, once he has a job in Metropolis, does that by default also make him the best investigative journalist in Metropolis?
“Would you think me heartless if I said that I didn’t care?”
Well…it’s safe to assume Mayson came early and Dan found her sitting there.
“You? Never,” he said softly. She couldn’t be heartless because she had already stolen his heart.
“To think, we almost never met,” she murmured.
Nah, they’d have met. Press conferences. Superman interviews. His dating Mayson might be a tad awkward, though. At least, till the bomb.
They moved together and joined their lips.
She’s a fast one!
She felt as if they were floating in the air and dancing among the stars.
Down boy. Not on your first date.
Lois only hoped that once she discovered what he was hiding from her, it would be headline worthy. How big the headline would determine if she truly loved him.
Wouldn’t that be awkward if she slept with him and then published his secret?
Michael
