Darth Michael: Yea! Michael's returned from his hunt for the missing Part 7 of Dare... Right?
I hope you were successful, because the story doesn't quite have the same bang for the buck without the scene when the maid bursts in.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif)
Not that I was procrastinating or anything recently when your TOC got bumped.
Oh, right. My little story...
Look who’s found his spark of hope again. Let’s see how long it takes the evil giant Lex to squash it with one simple step.
GIANT LEX: You call me stupid? Smash! Smash!
Um... No, this isn't the story where Clark was shrunken. Has it been *that* long?
He had been staring at every aspect of it since its occupants had retired to the bedroom.
Translation: Since Lois has asked her fiancé to fornicate with her.
SUPERMAN: /sticks his fingers in his ears/ Num, num, num. I can't hear you.
He was searching for something wrong, something different from what he could dredge up out of his sore head about Lois’s living room.
No, pizza box on the counter? Different fish?
Actually, Lois is quite good at disposing her pizza boxes, and the Ark apartment doesn't have...er... um...
LEX: What? I made a mistake?
CANON CLARK: See? I *am* able to stop a speeding bullet.
WRONG CLARK: Yeah? Well, you used your abilities to save *Lex* Luthor, so who’s the boob now?
Um... Didn't alt-Clark save him too? Or are you talking about when canon Clark shot Lex and caught the bullet?
ALT-CLARK: Yea, I would have been busy rescuing someone who deserved it more.
LOIS: /pssst./ I think they call that murder.
CLARK: But... But... But... That guy in MoS did it!
That kiss they had shared while dancing at Cat and Phil’s wedding had somehow lasted the whole song and yet felt shorter than a few seconds.
Hmm…I’m thinking he’s also going to believe himself to be the most enduring lover there has ever been.
LOIS: On the plus side, he can also boil a three-minute-egg for breakfast.
LOLA: /mad/
Okay, if the song lasted 4-5 minutes and it felt like a few seconds, how again would that make him a bad lover?
LOIS:
Wow!
CLARK: I'm sorry, Lois. That was *waaaaaaaay* too short. Let's try that again. I'm sure I can hold out longer next time. Please just give me another chance.
LOIS: Well... if you insist, I'll give you only one, possibly two, more chance tonight, but then I have to sleep.
LEX: I’m not mad! *evil laughter*
That's true. He actually seems quite happy.
Oh, look! A means to count the passage of time.
Originally, I chose the entire PotO album over and over, but then decided that wouldn't be enough torture (although, Lex might think so), and would be too easy for Clark to figure out the passage of time (plus, after listening to it I decided there were a few pieces of music on it which actually might give Clark hope instead of despair.) Other music which made the short list included:
“Flight of the Bubblebee” by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov-- performed only by brass instruments and
J.S. Bach – Toccata for organMany thanks to Mozartmaid for all of her recommendations.
I chose Phantom of the Opera because I figured it would be a piece of music that Lex would consider beneath him as a true music snob, and because it was something most of my readers would be familiar with by name.
So, the Lois on the screen is having a grand old time with her beau?
LEX: Of course.
FLOIS:
LEX: That super Boy Scout is quite enamored with his misguided sense of self importance, isn’t he?
LOIS:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif)
She’s just been f…fished out of the river!
CLARK: Oh, no! It *is* the real Lois!
Strange. Shouldn’t Lois know that she just has to sleep one last time without her husband by her side?
LEX: Clearly, she can't wait that long for me to return.
![[Linked Image]](http://www.smileyvault.com/albums/stock/smiley-character0068.gif)
Yeeees. Goooood! Think about just how much like Lex you have become!
Love your smilie, BTW.
ARI: Fascinating. Subject S has become catatonic about 15 minutes into the imprisonment. Apparently, the mental capacity to handling distress is greatly diminished by the presence of substance K in close proximity.
It's actually been a couple of hours by this point.
Well, maybe was hoping to get into little Miss Smarty Pants’ pants, so…
CAT: Well, I should have known that's why he didn't show.
Because he’s the only guy she’s offered to, who has graciously declined?
Explains her lack of male friends.
Right. A job on the docks. Really, who wrote this man’s excuses?
/points at EW/
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/froehlich/e025.gif)
Well…that’s different. He doesn’t want to sleep with them, so…
So, by your theory Clark only tells people his secret he doesn't want to sleep with? Or was it vice versa?
LOIS: No, you got right the first time.
CAT:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif)
Big accessory to hide the fact that she’s much further along than her wedding date would suggest?
Because it's doubling as her briefcase / snack bag.
Oh, *that’s* what Lex was doing with the Flois. Rehearsing the wedding night.
LEX: duh!
So, ‘business associate’ is not code for getting green in the pocket?
Other thugs not yet on the payroll?
Not patented until 1996, so not until SM officially got married and there was a lack of true "supermen" left in the world.
Interesting quote from the
Wikipedia Viagra page:
Jet lag research
The 2007 Ig Nobel Prize in Aviation went to Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano, and Diego A. Golombek of Universidad Nacional de Quilmes, Argentina for their discovery that Viagra helps treat jet lag recovery in hamsters.[26] Their research was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.[27]
Use in sports
Professional athletes have been documented using sildenafil, believing the opening of their blood vessels will enrich their muscles. In turn, they believe that it will enhance their performance.[28][29]
First, well, DUH that the hampster wouldn't have jetlag. His mind was elsewhere. "What do you mean the trip's over? I'm not done yet."
Secondly, RE: Athletes. Duh! Isn't that what Viagra is known for? Increased performance.
Funny, considering how the buffoon in blue managed to muck that one up.
CLARK: Krytponite!
It's foolproof when enacted. Clark hadn't had a chance to enact it yet.
CLARK: In my defense, it’s not like it’s been important before, so…
Isn't that part of the reason he came to this dimension? To get away from everyone who knew CK=SM?
Because he’s currently enjoying a spa-and-wine treatment at Chateau du Lex?
Exactly!
