This is one of those blue moons when I dropped in to read "off topic" and I've been rewarded. I think some really good points have been made all around. I'd like to add one final strong belief of mine--having been both workaholic and 'lazy bum' at various times in my career. I thought that the 'job owned me'...but the truth is that I let it.
It is each of our individual responsibilities to prioritize our lives in such a way that we live in our values first and our needs second. Let's not kid ourselves--coming home late and missing a child's school activity is a "choice". It means that I/you/he/she's values are more oriented toward whatever the "work" brings than the particular family activity for example. Are we willing to pay the price of leaving the office by--enduring a late night tomorrow, lost brownie points, whatever? Or, if we're paid an hourly wage, and the extra time is truly the difference between paying bills and not,it helps to acknowledge that "the job isn't making me" stay...it's that "my responsibility to pay the bills" is something I value. Taking back control of the situation can help one feel less frustrated by being "on call". I have a dear friend who travels a great deal and tries like heck to be home to tuck his three sons in. Sometimes he's away a good part of the week. But he makes up the time by giving them his full attention when he *is* home and he let's them know that the only reason he stays away is so they can have fun things.
I find that my blackberry has been instrumental in enabling me to conduct both my life and my work with no one the wiser. But I exercise discipline by NOT having it with me on social occasions--or in announcing to my companion 'I apologize for leaving this on, but there is one phone call I expect that I will have to take. Forgive me.' Usually, my companions are accommodating because the alternative is that we'd NEVER be able to have a social engagement in the first place. On the flip side, I've been known to be with a customer and answer the phone for a family member saying "Are you dead or dying?. Because if not I have to hang up on you now." That invariably gets a laugh while sending a message to my customer that I CHOOSE to take a phone call if I know it's a family member calling.
So, as with so many things, we can demonize the tool. But it's only rude/foolish/too much etc. in the hands of an individual.
My two cents. Have fun watching the Jackson verdict!
Sherry
