We haven't done this in a long time, but I'm back. And since this episode was so completely horrifying, I won't even try to be cute. It's enough of a struggle to even speak because I just don't have the words to describe how much I hated this episode.
Lana and Clark find a baby and become pseudo parents? WTF???
Can you think of a more ridiculous what-is-the-point-of-this premise? Why? Why do we want to see Lana and Clark as parents? I mean, I get all of the meteor-rock induced memory losses and flash-backs and personality changes that let all two of the Lana and Clark 4-Ev-R fans (coughMillarcoughGough) live their fantasies of these two being in luuurve and having a relationship. But are there really people out there who are so hooked on this couple that they needed/wanted/fantasized about this scenario?
It's like, the creators *know* that Clark and Lana have no future beyond high school, so they are trying to cram in an entire lifetime relationship before graduation next week. Are they checking off a list? Clark and Lana kiss. Check. Clark and Lana dance at the prom. Check. Clark suffers Lana's death. Check. Clark and Lana have a baby (sans sex, mind you). Check. How much money do you want to bet that before the show goes off the air, we get a scenario with Lana in a big white dress and veil and Clark at the end of the long aisle with stephanotis pinned to his lapel?
Okay, in a million years you will never be able to make me understand why the producers and directors and writers and janitors and photocopy makers ever thought this was a good idea for a show, but heck, whatever.
So now tell me how in the world I'm supposed to believe a pair of 18-year-olds are able to bond so completely with a baby/child/teenager that they knew all of 72 hours (by my calculations) that when said child is lost to them (sorry, Spoiler. But hey, nothing could be worse that this epi anyway), they are devastated? For crying out loud, after Evan The Freak Baby/Kid/Teenager was gone, Clark was
packing up his stuff! How much stuff could a 72-hour-old person accumulate? From what was expressed on all sides, you would have thought that Evan was a blessed child delivered to a childless couple after years of longing, adored and cherished through childhood, and the very center of his young parents' universe.
In fact, the more I thought about it, I actually became kind of offended. I'm not sure how to say this properly. But the kind of devotion and sorrow Lana and Clark expressed (did you all get that line about Lana feeling disconnected until Evan came into her life and gave her a purpose?) for this miniscule-duration relationship kind of insults the real devastation suffered by parents who lose a child. Such a loss is quite possibly the cruelest pain humans can suffer, and by treating a 72-hour relationship in the way M&G did, I don't know. It made me mad.
Only good thing to come out of any of that mess was Clark's poignant conversation with his parents about his concern over ever being able to have children. But this discussion could have been born from a gazillion other story premises. All they needed to do was call me and I would have tossed out a few that were waaayyy more believable. For free.
Sidebar - the kid who played Evan-the-Teenager annoyed me to no end. He suffered from that affliction of never being able to fully close his mouth. Plus he whined. And whined. And whined.
Do you think if I wrote to John Glover and suggested that he re-shave his head, he'd take my advice? I know that long hair = evil for Lionel, so the new growth signals his return to the dark side. But he just looks so much better with it short.
Yeah, Genevieve almost bit the dust. Oops, sorry. Another spoiler. But oh well, like I said, this episode did so much sucking I don't think knowing what happens next could ruin it more.
Lex - twinges of the Evil peaking out. Bad Lex!
Chloe - cute hair.
Lois? Oh where art thou, Lois?
Okay Daddy Mac, I double dog dare you to tell me you liked this episode or that you bought the premise and were touched by the tender relationship that developed between Papa Clark and Mama Lana and their freak-a-zoid baby/kid/teenager. Go on. Just try.
Lynn
