superman: i don't know where he came from. he was just wrapped in this blanket with a note saying "lois and clark: this is your baby." but he doesn't look anything like either of us. i don't get it.
lois: uhm, superman, his head is made of plastic. i know you're not from this planet, but i don't think that's a real baby.
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lois: wait! there's a note! "there is a bomb on this baby. if his formula consuption drops below 55 ounces/day... oh, never mind. after that whole thing with the bus and them getting the people off and everything, i just haven't been the same. i'll come up with a better evil plot next time. for now, just don't mind me."
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lois: where'd that doll come from, superman?
superman: he was left on the roof of a building, just waiting for me.
lois: what? why?
superman: i don't know.
lois: hey, look. there's a note. "superman, i have found your weakness! you care too much! now you'll be too busy trying to care for this 'baby poopsalot' and you'll never be able to foil my schemes again!" wow, lex has really gone off the deep end, hasn't he?
superman: he just hasn't been the same since his second death.
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superman: ... but, look here. when i tickle his belly like this - coochie coochie coo! - he giggles like a real baby!
lois: wow, you're right. that's great! she'll love it! we have to get one of these! where'd you find it?
guy in the background: uhm, excuse me, superman... are you done playing? can i have my doll back now? i kind of need to finish my shopping...
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(editing to add this one in, which i forgot as i was writing yesterday)
doll: fear me, ally mcbeal! i am a baby, and i can dance! hahahaha -- superman? lois lane? oh, dang it! i'm on the wrong show!
