perry: clark, i wasn't talking about you!
superman: but i just - wait, what did you call me?
perry: i'm sorry, i was just in this alternate dimension. it was awful. i was this drunken tabloid reporter, and you had no morals, and your dad was a jerk, and your mom was hardly ever around, and everyone knew that clark kent had super powers, and he'd been involved with this gang and robbing banks and stuff, and there was kryptonite everywhere, and clark lost control of his powers and nearly dropped a tractor on me - or, well, the other me, and i couldn't seem to get to the bus stop, and then lana was kind of your soulmate, and i have no idea what happened to lois... great shades of elvis! it was the weirdest thing. after a while, i had to run into the forest just to keep my sanity! i've still got pine needles suck in my clothes.
superman: so, when you were saying those things about clark, you didn't mean... wait a minute. pine needles? in kansas? but... huh?
Paul
(it's 5am, i can't get to sleep, and this seemed like a good idea. <shrug>)
