In my previous fandom there were authors everyone fawned over and then there were the newbies like myself. I've realized in my limited time here that this community is a much nicer, much more supportive place, but I still live with the memory of what I knew before.
I remember writing my heart out and not garnering much notice. I hated it. When I and some of the authors I was friends with finally did start to get noticed some of the more established authors backstabbed and gossiped and were just generally unpleasant. So when I see my name come up with mentions of Kerths I have this confused reaction. I'm elated at the notice - I really, truly am. But a part of me is terrified because I fear the backlash. For what it's worth, I don't fear a backstabbing campaign in this community. I do fear that people will see my name or a story of mine mentioned and decide "eh, everyone else is voting for her/that one, I'll pick someone else".
Just my paranoid, conflicted two cents...
