Kent winced at getting caught. “I should have known better than try to pull a fast one on you, Chief,” he replied softly. “Let me go get them, and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
I think it should be "to try to".
The bars and restaurants in his dimension had banned tobacco products in favor of a healthier workplace for its employees
Here "its employees" has as its antecedent "the bars and restaurants". That in theory should be "their employees", but I would actually go with just "for employees".
In fact part of me even wonders if it is the "bars and restraunsts" banning the smoking. It might have been outside forces telling the bars and restaruants to do so, in which case maybe you want to say "Tobacco products in bars and restaruants in his dimension had been banned in favor of a healthier workplace for employees". OK, maybe I have just seen too many bar owners especially fight such bans with the claim they will loose business to think it likely they would be the ones to institute the ban.
Clark glanced over at the box sitting between him and wall. “Sir, if you can wait, there’s something else,” he said, and dropped the box on the table.
I think that should be "and the wall".
She was standing next to him now and his biceps were calling out for some hand-on examination.
This is hard to say, but I think it should be "hands-on".
He pulled a baguette out of the oven and the smell was over-powering. He sliced it in large chunks and brought it back to the table, setting a piece of each of their plates. “I think you can handle that on your own, Lois.” He scooted his chair an inch or two further away. “Maybe you should just use your fingers and feed yourself.”
I think that should be "piece on each". This is very good description. It has made me hungry.
She watched as he picked up another couple piece of pasta and stuck them in his mouth
I think that should be "pieces".
