Good beginning, Corinna! I have to say I may or may not be following this fic, though, because brand-new multi-parters have begun to scare me off. (Reading makes my eyes increasingly tired these days, and if I'm not already committed to a multi-parter, well...)
But I agree with those that say it is a fascinating beginning. Personally I found the branding business slightly too gruesome. And if Kal-El brands Lois, it must be because he regards her as his property, and then he could be prepared to treat her rather badly (or very badly). But of course Kal is going to fall in love with Lois, if he hasn't become hopelessly intrigued by her already.
Pedendang wrote:
I was a little bit confused about one thing, though: I can hardly imagine Lois not immediately realizing that she's not on Earth anymore. The fact that she would even entertain the notion that this might be *Africa* rings very untrue to me, given that she is an educated woman, and a genuinely smart one at that.
Well, given the circumstances, I agree that Lois shouldn't think that she was on the Earth. If I had been in her position, I think I would have believed I was on Mars, and that I had been captured by a secret, super-technological sect that had made it to Mars from the Earth and had managed to find a way to make at least part of Mars habitable. This description sounds as if it could have been Mars to me:
It was arid ... dry, bare and ugly. It was cold ... freezing, although she saw no ice or snow.
That's
exactly like Mars.
It was dull ... as if they were in heavy shadow.
Hmmm. I guess that
could be like Mars. Mars is farther away from the Sun than the Earth is, so sunlight itself is more dull on Mars.
And everything was tinged red. Lois looked up, searching for the sun. A bloodshot haze hung above them.
That might possibly be Mars. The rust-colored sand on Mars is blown about by strong winds in the thin atmosphere, so the sky is salmon-colored on Mars.
Given that Lois was on her way to Mars, I guess it would make sense for her to think that she had crashed on Mars and been captured by a weird, unknown sect of humans there.
Just my two cents! Anyway, that's a very interesting beginning, Corinna!
Ann
