Well, this is from a former labor and delivery nurse, as well as the mother of seven (five normal deliveries and one C-section for twins).
As they say, every pregnancy is different, however, for a first baby, they tell you to come in when the contractions are five minutes apart. For a woman who has already had a baby, they generally tell you to come in when the contractions are regular because after that first one things can go fast. They don't want you to push before you are 10 cm because you can cause swelling of the cervix and end up being unable to have the baby normally, which of course means a C-section.
My first labor started when I was asleep. I recall feeling something give, which is what woke me up. I wasn't even really awake then, but my husband tells me that I leaped out of bed like a jackrabbit and ran for the bathroom. Once there, I realized I was leaking water and knew that the water had broken, so I walked back to the bedroom and told my very sleepy husband what had happened. He kind of grunted and asked if I was having any contractions, and right at that point I felt the first one. (To give you some idea of how fast I moved, I didn't get a drop of water in the bed. The wet spots started in the hall.)
Anyway, we both figured it would be a while, but that first contraction was the only one that was mild. The next one was about two minutes or so later and it *hurt*. I had a couple more, each closer than the one before, and stronger, and my husband called the hospital.
The nurse at the other end was amused at the new daddy-to-be calling up to tell her my contractions had started about fifteen minutes ago with the water breaking and she told him to just relax, and to bring me in when they got down to five minutes. He told her they'd never gotten *up* to five minutes and then it was "You idiot! Get her in here right now!" I'm sure she didn't really call him an idiot, but he felt like she was treating him that way. He was kind of annoyed. Anyway, we went in, and I was 6 cm. when they checked me. To make a long story short, from the water breaking to delivery was four hours and fifteen minutes. We'd done Lamaze, which was a darned good thing. I didn't have any anesthesia because things went so fast that by the time I started thinking seriously about it, it was already too late. I think this underlines the bit about every labor being different. (The next one took under two hours and we almost didn't make it to the hospital <g>)
And about the man in the delivery room bit. With our fifth child they got mixed up and thought it was my first. We kept telling them it was number five but they were so rushed that nobody listened. I came in in hard labor and they were ultra casual, leaving us alone for what seemed hours. I'd been there about forty minutes when I could tell it was time and I told my hubby to get the nurse. He went out and was begging someone to come in. They thought he was just the typical scared daddy and pretty much ignored him. He got kind of pushy about it and finally here comes the doctor strolling casually in asking me (I still remember this word for word!) "Well, Mrs. Smith, is this your first baby?" Argh!
I was in the middle of a massive contraction and I just splayed my hand out and screamed at him "It's my *fifth*!" You should have seen his expression change <g> Anyway, things got really busy right then, the doctor checked me and asked if I really wanted to go to the delivery room (which, thank God, they don't do anymore, mostly). I said that I didn't, and he said that we'd have the baby right there. Hubby didn't even have a gown on. He just stood next to me and coached. And yes, you do yell at people. I yelled at the doctor because he seemed to be moving so slowly while I was having this massive need to push. Things turned out all right after all that and we had our third daughter. I was pretty ticked off about the whole thing for quite a while (like 23 years later <g> )because things could have really gone bad. The cord was around her neck, and they just plain *wouldn't* listen while we kept telling them that this was not #1 but #5. Chuck told me he was almost ready to haul one of the nurses in there by sheer muscle by the time the doctor deigned to come in and see why we were making such a fuss.
Nan
