Oh, my. Beethoven, thank you. I've heard them before (must have gotten the same email), but some of those just cracked me up. My favorites seem to all include the questioning of doctors ...
>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
>> examined the body?
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
and
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure ?
>> WIT NESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my
>> desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still
>> been alive, nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have
>> been alive and practicing law.
BJ
