Lois and Clark Do 100 Crimes Challenge
1) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy (and then Clark) Trespassed into a secure area of EPRAD to take a look at the Messenger wreckage.
2) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy broke and entered the Messenger Hangar (using a lock pick).
3) The Pilot: Clark broke in (literally) and entered the Messenger Hangar, causing willful property damage to the Messenger hangar's door.
4) TOGOM: Superman dangles Dillinger upside-down from a building to gain information. (Attempted Murder in the 2nd degree?, Attempted Assault?, Menacing in the 3rd degree, Reckless Endangerment, etc.) [Let's not get into nit-picking whether or not this constitutes a crime since Dillinger is technically a clone. That's just a whole other can of worms. For the sake of this discussion, let's just say a clone life is equal to a human or Kryptonian.]
5) Ides of Metropolis: Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree")
6) And the Answer Is: Clark (albeit using some super abilities) stole jewelry for Mazik. True, he was coerced into doing so, so the courts would probably go easy on him if he had actually been brought to trial, but he did, nevertheless, steal from a jewelry store.
7) Smart Kids: Clark stole a sample of Mentamide 5.
8) PML: Clark stole an atomizer of Revenge.
9) HiM: Lois committed B&E.
10) OP: Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. [Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there? ]
11) IoM: Hiding Eugene, an escaped convict. "aiding and abetting" (Harboring an escaped Felon)
12) DLW: Superman breaks Lois out of prison. Bad Superman, bad...
13) IoM: Lois takes away Eugene's gun from him (but we never see exactly what she does with it.) So, possession of stolen property / unregistered firearm / concealed weapon.
14) Madame Ex: Lois steals medical files from Dr. Heller's office - Theft.
a) locking the temp in a room to do so – unlawful imprisonment
15) Church of Metropolis: Clark impersonates a police officer.
16) Neverending Battle: Superman bends Luthor's sword. Destruction of personal property.
17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment.
18) The Pilot: Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. Lois also planned on traveling without permission / (attempted) stowaway.
19 a) AtAI: Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath and then thaws her out again - Reckless endangerment and Promoting a Sucide Attempt
b) AtAI: Lois suicide by superhero
20) Voice from the Past: Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath, and then thaws her back out. (Reckless Endangerment, AGAIN)
21) Swear to God: Clark destroys Lamont's (Leo Nunk's photographer) film using his vision do-hicky (x-ray vision). - – willful destruction of property [Although, being that nobody present except Lois knows that CK=SM and she'd never testify against her husband, I doubt this willful destruction of property would ever make it to court.]
22) The Pilot: Clark uses his heat vision to destroy the engine of the machinery that was about to demolish the theater – Vandalism?
23) TOGoM: Clark fakes his own death. (Granted, he finds a way to resurrect himself...)
24) Battleground Earth: Clark partakes in a duel to the death. - Attempted murder? [Or is there actually an anti-dueling law?]
25) Lord of the Flies: Lois. Solicitation.
26a) PML: Perry sexually harasses Rehaila.
26b) PML: Lois sexually harassed Clark.
27a) Lucky Leon: Superman: Stealing a nuclear device.
27b) Lucky Lean: Superman: Detonating a nuclear device in the atmosphere.
I think we could formulate a treason/terrorism charge for either of these that gets him the death penalty in a federal court.
27c)* Lucky Leon: Superman hands over nukes to terrorists after stealing them from legit US soldiers. Terrorism . (Um, Clark, about that "checking your sources" thing you do as a reporter...)
28) Strange Visitor: Lois & Clark: Espionage
29) Family Hour: Lois and Clark – Kidnapping of Baby
30) Double Jeopardy – Clark/Superman: Aiding and Abetting
31) LotF / Battleground Earth: Superman hired (accepted services) of a prostitute
32a) Top Copy: Lois steals Mayson's beeper. Theft of personal property.
32b) Maybe some other charges related to locating the witness at the safe house?
33) TOGOM - Clark - removing evidence from a crime scene - the movie ticket stub that was on the floor at the bank.
34) TOGOM - Lois - illegal gambling
35) Pilot - Clark - international travel to China without a passport and avoiding Customs.
36) Metallo: Superman - accessory to John Corbin's murder ...? Or excessive use of force?
37) IoG: Superman - destruction of public property (specifically, parking meters).
38a) JSN: L&C may be considered to be trespassing when they enter Smiley's back room.
38b) Even though they realized that the torn page belonged to Smiley, instead of returning it, they took it off of his property. So perhaps theft could be added to their rapidly-increasing rap sheet.
39) Requiem: Breaking and entering Menken's Gym (specifically Dr. Sam Lane’s medical office).
40) JSN: Lois and Clark took the torn page from the dead woman's shoe (Janet?). Withholding / removing evidence from a murder scene.
41)* Operation Blackout: Impersonating US soldiers - both Lois and Clark. (Federal crime to impersonate a decorated soldier.)
42)* MoSB: Clark uses super speed to be "Superman getting out the shower". Contempt of court, right? Since he broke his promise to not use super abilities. (And this seconds *after* he catches himself about to heat vision up some tea.)
43)* Operation Blackout: Lois and Clark - Trespassing on government land (specifically Fort Truman).
44) HoL: Clark, Jimmy, and Perry - harboring an escaped Juvenile Detention Center prisoner (Jack).
45) The Pilot: Clark flies without a permit or filing flight plans - at the very least, possibly many more or all episodes.
46) The Rival: Lois and Clark break into Carpenter's office. Breaking and entering / trespassing / computer trespass
47) Individual Responsibility: Superman allows the payroll check thieves to escape. Aiding and abetting.
48) Individual Responsibility: Superman does nothing to prevent the kidnap of Perry White in. Aiding and abetting.
49)* BFTB - Lois and Clark sneak into a cemetery after hours. Trespassing.
50) MoSB: Superman refuses to aid a prisoner getting beaten by another while in jail. (In some jurisdictions this falls under the Good Samaritan "duty to assist" laws.)
51) Ordinary People: Superman, transporting cheese into the US from Switzerland without declaring it at customs. Smuggling.
52) Witness: Clark, destruction of the bullet which is evidence of an attempted murder of Lois. Destruction of evidence.
53) Individual Responsibility: Lois and Clark breaking and entering into Newtrich's office.
54) Wall of Sound: Lois - assault of the guard at the Stoke Club.
55) Lethal Weapon: Superman, excessive destruction of public property.
56)* Vatman: Superman, international travel avoiding customs and proper processing to France.
57) Virtually Destroyed: Jimmy and Superman - computer trespass
58) It's a Small World After All - Clark impersonates a Navy SEAL (Federal crime to impersonate a member of any military branch.)
59) Madame Ex - Lois - improper disposal of a radioactive substance (the kryptonite bullet)
60) Sex, Lies and Video Tape - Lois Lane - Lois got a discount at Chateau Roberge by claiming to be working on a story, even though she wasn’t planning on writing one - fraud.
61) Ordinary People - Clark - heated up the sand in the path of the tiger - cruelty to animals
62) Battleground Earth - Lois Lane - assault on a government officer for her attack of the colonel who ordered the use of Kryptonite gas against Nor and Superman.
63) Oedipus Wrecks: Lois commits assault/battery by punching Deter out.
64) Chi of Steel: Lois – entered the men's club and accessing data there - trespassing
65) Strange Visitor: Clark steals/pockets the globe. Theft. (Yes, I know it's technically his and all...)
66) The Eyes Have It : Martha attempts to pick Clark's lock. Attempted breaking and entering.
67) The Eyes Have It: Jimmy actually *does* pick Clark's lock. Breaking and entering.
68) Through a Glass, Darkly: Lois and Clark nose around the For Sale property, without anyone being around/any realtor in the vicinity. Trespassing.
69) The Source: Lois and Clark break into the offices of Virologic while posing as copy repair personnel and look through confidential files. – Trespassing / breaking & entering [I believe Bender even threatens to have them charged for this one.]
70) The Dad Who Came in From the Cold: Superman hides the briefcase at the start of the episode just after the agent is killed would technically be illegal, since the people looking for it are actually government agents – removal of evidence from a crime scene / murder
71) Seconds: Lois acting as Wanda Detroit assists Luthor in breaking into Star Labs and stealing some things – breaking and entering / theft
72) Forget me Not: Lois uses a gun to try to kill Perry. – attempted murder [True, she has been hypnotized into doing it by Dr. Mendenhall]
73) Stop the Presses: Lois - rams her Jeep Cherokee through the doors of the missile silo - destruction of government property.
74) PML: Cat has sex with the copier repair guy in a public place (the copy room). Public Indecency / Lewdness. (depending on the jurisdiction, she might have to register as a sex offender if charged.)
74a) Clark looks into the Copy room and sees what Cat and the repair guy are doing. Especially since he responded to hearing noise in there, this may well count as voyeurism.
75) Ultra Woman: Lois uses her super power to look through Clarks clothing. – violation of privacy?
76) Target: Jimmy Olsen: Clark with Lois's help impersonates a doctor, enters secure areas and disrupts the operation of a hospital. – criminal impersonation and trespassing
77) Ultra Woman: Lois tosses the park gate. We then here a car getting smashed (by the gate). Destruction of personal property.
78) Never On Sunday: while in Jamaica as a green reporter, Clark ran the story of Hendricks/Baron Sunday and the gun running operation, presumably without checking all his sources. A background check later proves Hendricks was completely clean. Libel and defamation of character.
79)* People vs. Lois Lane: some of Superman's visits to Lois were clearly unauthorized and in violation of jail rules and procedures – breaking and entering
80)* All Shook Up - Jonathan hits Clark with the baseball bat – (attempted) Assault
81)* All Shook Up - Martha's attempt to help Clark fly - attempted murder.
82) GGGoH: Clark and Lois sneak into a quarantined or secure area (Irig's farm) - trespassing.
83) GGGoH: Clark attacking Trask in self-defense of him and his family - attack on a government agent.
84) Season's Greedings: Lois takes Space Rat (did we ever see her pay for it?) - theft
85) Toy Story: Lois grabs Superman from little boy - theft.
86) Resurrection: Lois and Clark break into Mayson's office in Resurrection. Breaking and entering.
87)* Shadow of a Doubt - Superman -When he first finds someone strangled by Hanson, he breaks open the door, but since he can hear heart-beats and things like that he should be able to tell the guy is dead, and this seems to be negligent intervention on his part - needless disruption of a crime scene
88) the Pilot - Lois and Clark enter into what appears to be a condemned building to speak to Dr. Platt. (We see them ducking under the yellow cordoned-off tape.) Trespassing.
89)* The Phoenix – Lois does not immediately report Lex to the police when she recognizes him - aiding and abetting / failures to report a wanted felon
90)* ILTY - Clark takes the torn piece of the invisible suit when Helene shows Lois and Clark Alan's wrecked lab. Removal of evidence from a crime scene.
91)* IGACOY - Lois follows Toni Taylor into a condemned building. Trespassing.
92)* Never on a Sunday - Lois steals the needle from Baron Sunday's plane when they go to pay him a visit - Theft*. (Robbery only counts if force is used)
93)* We've Got A Lot to Talk about - Lois - she breaks into Joe the Blow's room and looks over his materials. Trespassing.
94)* Bolt from the Blue - Clark - destruction of property when he destroys the tattoo artists disk so that Lois cannot track down who the guy who got the tattoo was.
95)* IoM - Lois attacks Detective Reed to protect Eugene (and disarms her in the process). Assaulting a police officer.
96)* And the Answer is - Clark impersonates Sergeant Zymack on the phone - impersonating a police officer is clearly a crime.
97)* TOGoM - Perry is in possession of (and presumably drove to his house) an uninsured vehicle. True, it was on loan, but you still (in most places) cannot legally drive an vehicle that has no insurance on it.
98)* In Operation: Blackout, Lois steals a military vehicle and uniforms. Theft.
99)* Foundling - Superman - Takes Globe from location of where kidnap victim Jack was found - Removal of evidence from a crime scene.
100)* HiM - Lois and Clark listen in on Rourk & Harrison’s conversation at Apocalypse Consulting – Eavesdropping
101)* All Episodes: Lois and Clark stole our hearts.
*Renumbered or otherwise changed by Editor.
*****
I know that there are more crimes out there, so if you can think of them, keep adding them to the list. Thanks!
