Terry raises some interesting points. In fact, I'm glad that Clark has an advocate in Terry.
I would argue though that the woman stays with the child because that is the role she feels most comfortable with and not necessarily because of financial reasons. I would also argue that the man returns to work because that is the role he is most comfortable with.
However, I feel that Clark's problems started long before Jory was born. One of the reasons why the first two years of marriage are difficult is because most people are inherantly selfish before they get married. I never imagined how selfish I was until I got married. The whole scenario about which way to squeeze the tube of toothpaste is because one party never cared about it before; they need to reach the point where they say that if it matters to you then I'll make it matter to me and be selfless enough to do it your way.
Over time the average person becomes less selfish. In fact, they may be feeling pretty good about themselves until the first child comes along. Then they're smacked in the head with another layer of selfishness. Suddenly it's not just about toothpaste but about deeper issues. They need to dig much deeper to tell this helpless baby, "I love you more than sleep."
So when we're accusing Clark of selfishness it's because he never went through those normal stages of adult development. Yes, of course he's grieving. Yes, of course he's under a lot of pressure as a single parent. But grief that lasts for years is inherantly unhealthy.
Besides, at some point he needs to realize that Jory needs a parent. He needs the love that Clark feels communicated to him in simple ways. Eye contact, human touch and loving words would be a fantastic start.
While I know we have been hard on Clark, but the truth is that while there is a time to mourn, there is also a time for peace. The time came long ago for Clark to make peace with his son.
Elisabeth
