I can't help thinking of this fic as a sort of counterpoint to Sue's
Spin. In Sue's vignette, Clark gently and sweetly takes care of Lois, when she is drunk and brokenhearted and disconsolate because Superman has completely ignored her. In this fic, Lois takes care of Superman because he has become blind.
I'm moved both by Sue's portrait of drunk and brokenhearted Lois and by your portrait of blind Superman. In both these fics, one of our beloved characters is, in his or her own way, helpless and more or less physically incapacitated. Clark has to take Lois home and help her up her stairs. Lois has to help Superman find the way as he is flying blind (and she isn't doing an
extremely good job of it. Reminds me of something I read in a Swedish newspaper once, about an old couple where the husband had the driving licence and was blind and the wife sat next to him and told him when to brake, when to accelerate and when to turn left or right.)
I was very moved by Lois's grief in Sue's story. But I'm similarly moved by Clark's gentle, quiet stoicism here. I feel so strongly how he has schooled himself to put up with almost anything without complaining when he is being Superman. Surely he would have fretted and worried a little more if it had been Clark who had been officially blinded?
Anyway, Superman-Clark's stoicism isn't harsh and dismissive, but gentle.
"Yes, I sleep." He smiles at me. Well, he smiles in the direction of the door, really. I'm sitting a little further to his left - but he obviously doesn't know that.
Oh, the way he smiles at Lois, except he is really smiling at the door! The combination of sweetness, helplessness, gentle stoicism and superhuman strength here brings tears to my eyes.
This was somehow even more moving:
"I can't let you sleep on the couch," I tell him after a moment's reflection.
"Oh." He starts to get up. "I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'll just go -"
He thinks she won't let him sleep in her apartment! And he won't argue or plead with her at all - he just gets up, just like that, all ready to stumble out into the world outside which he simply can't navigate right now.
He honestly believes she is throwing him out!!!! Does he think she is rejecting him? Does he think that she has no use for him now that he is blind and imperfect?
It was sweet that Lois was flustered. Of course, it never entered her mind to reject Superman or throw him out. I loved her way of shyly kissing him good night. It was interesting, however, that she would end up wishing that it was Clark who was sharing her bed instead. I wonder why. Maybe it has to do with Clark's lack of real confidence in his Superman persona. This lack of confidence makes Superman-Clark unable to ask for almost anything for himself. Superman-Clark knows how to
act like Superman in public, but he doesn't know how to
be with Lois in private. And I'm reminded of Sue's fic again. Sue's Lois wanted to get to know Superman and discover the real him. But your Lois finds that for now at least, there isn't much more to Superman than gentle patience. The pain he
must feel is inaccessible to her. No wonder she longs for the man who knows how to tease her and to be grumpy and hurt around her.
Great story, Lara!
Ann
