Okay, here's the progression of how I knew this story. First, we were given our assignments and I wailed and cried to Lara because I had to write something with humor and a freakin' stuffed zebra. Lara cried back because she had to write something WAFFy. At one point I even hinted that we should swap stories but she didn't didn't go for it. Nor would she get specific for me on what elements she had to write, telling me that we were supposed to be sworn to secrecy. (Heh - and I even went back and reread EVERYTHING Laura had said about the ficathon and was baffled that I couldn't find a secrecy oath in it). But I'm just dimwitted enough that I didn't even consider that she had been given my request.
Fast-forward a few days and she's still groaning about how she has no idea what to write about. Then, on Tuesday, she said she had an idea and that she was hoping to post by that night. I told her she'd better get it to me quick then so I could beta. <crickets chirping> I spent ALL DAY yesterday harassing her about sending me the story. No, it wasn't done. It wasn't done...
Sometime yesterday afternoon it occurred to me to ask her if she was being evasive because it was my story. Her reply? "What makes you think that?" And then she deftly changed the subject in a manner that would have made Clark Kent weep with envy.
She still had me going last night - "oh, I'm almost done, Sue, and then you can read it". I noticed NOW that she didn't say "beta". She never said "beta". Never. Not once. It was always "read". I've been had, people!
So, just before I turned in last night, what should pop up on the boards? A story by Lara! I cheered and then it dawned on me that she was posting without my having seen it first and it was like someone had just kicked me. How had I offended her? Hadn't I pestered her for days to beta the story? Did she think I wasn't interested? Did my last few betas suck so heartily that she was looking for a way to unload me?
And then I saw this:
This ficathon challenge story was written for Sue S. Like Lois in ATAI, I blinked back a few tears and sucked in a deep breath to realize that the person I thought I knew so well had been keeping such a big secret from me. When I unfroze, er, woke up this morning, the shock that she so effectively side-stepped me for days was still as new. Man, you think you know a gal...
So, now that I've inflicted that long and pointless explanation on you, I'll get down to telling her the things I WOULD HAVE SAID IN A BETA! And, Lara, you know that I never hold back the snark or the innuendo in a beta.
"Or to the left," I say, feeling like an absolute idiot.
No! Your
other left! Sheesh - I thought Superman was supposed to be able to read minds.
"I... I... I mean, it's not like I thought you were, you know... a bat that flies around all night, or... I just, I never really thought of you... sleeping, I guess."
No matter whose request you had - I just *knew* you were going to find a way to work in Batman. :p
Oh god, I'm so glad he can't see me blushing. How is it that sometimes when I open my mouth, some of the world's stupidest things come out of it? Way to go, Lois, you’ve discovered your very own superpower: leaping from one silly comment to another in a single bound.
Galactically stupid isn't a superpower? Dang - because I was thinking I might qualify for that one now.
"It's too small and much too hard."
Heh. I guess there are some things you can only say in a beta after all.
I'm sorry, it's like I'm going out of my way to make you feel awkward.
Hee! I want to see that story next!
"Lois, no. I couldn't do that!" he protests. "Where would that leave you?"
Well, for one thing, she'll have to buy new sheets since she's going to have to bronze the ones he slept on.
"Just... you can never, ever breathe a word of this to Clark,"
ETA: For those Philes among us - this is post #1013 for me!
