You
definitely succeeded!
. I absolutely loved what you accomplished in this story. A private goodbye...Clark's vulneralbility about the situation...feelings 'out there' between them. I really enjoyed it!
Lois looked over at Clark's desk. She'd been doing that all morning, unable to bear the thought that her best friend might never sit there again. She couldn't stop thinking about their kiss and how it had felt to hear the words "I love you" coming from his lips. And she couldn't stop thinking about the other three words he had said that would haunt her forever.
"Lois, I'm scared."
Having Lois truly know what is at stake as the countdown is going on added a lot. Putting 'Clark' into what is happening--Superman, but
really deep down Clark for Lois to deal with. I loved that!
"Hi," she rasped as her mouth went dry. Her hands began to shake. She clenched them into fists to steady herself.
The details about her hands. Additions like that really help the reader to put themselves into where the characters are at the moment. Great
"They told me that a dark-haired woman came to see me at two o'clock this morning. Corporal Oliver said she was, and I'm quoting here, 'rather aggressive.' I figured it had to have been you."
"I wasn't being aggressive. I just kinda lied and said that you'd asked me to meet you here."
The corner of his mouth twitched, but she couldn't tell if he was amused or annoyed.
A favorite part. The wordage 'and I'm quoting here'--something about those few words I LOVED! It sounded so much like Clark, I guess, is why I liked it so much. And this part really walked that line that you walk so well with your characterization...you have them tease each other--and sometimes just a little bit like here--at just the perfect time. It keeps it so real between them. This part--it was GREAT!
He made a choked sputter and shook his head. "After I'm gone, it won't matter. You can tell."
You really played Clark well during this scene...he's normally so up-beat, and reality is definitely staring him in the face here. Having him concerned to this extent definitely takes everything up a notch...
"It's not a lie," she said in a fierce whisper. "It's a promise. A promise is only a lie if you don't intend to keep it. Don't argue semantics with me, Clark. Just promise me you'll come back."
"You think I'm going to argue semantics with you?" Clark pulled away slightly and gave her a weak smile. "Talk about a suicide mission."
It came out a little blubbery, but he had made her laugh. "It's about time you admitted that I'm always right."
His smile widened a little as he shook his head. "Not always. Just most of the time."
Oh-my-goodness! I absolutely adored this part, too. This is so much what I love about your writing, Sue. You weave 'them' so thoroughly into your stories. Teasing amongst the angst. Great combination...and leads to gems like 'It came out a little blubbery, but he had made her laugh."
"Wait!" Lois threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. For a moment, his lips were still against hers. And then he was kissing her back. There was nothing guarded in his response as his mouth opened to kiss her deeply. One of his hands buried itself in her hair, supporting the back of her head in his palm. His other arm wrapped low across her back, bringing her body into full contact with his. Lois twined her arms around his neck and shoulders. Their kiss was full of desperation and love and regret. It was everything she wanted to say, but couldn't find the words to express. With her eyes closed, it felt like she was wheeling and dizzy in the darkness. Clark became the only constant as the world shifted around her.
Out in the hallway, someone continued to knock on the door again and again, calling out with increasing desperation for Superman. Lois heard the rattle of the doorknob, but the door stayed firmly closed. She realized that Clark must have locked it when he came in and she kissed him harder in gratitude.
The kiss broke, leaving them both breathless but still clinging to each other.
"I love you," Clark whispered, and the stir of his breath on her lips was like a caress. He kissed her again, soft and lingering. She felt his lips curve into a smile as the pounding on the door felt silent.
"Then promise me," she begged quietly. "Promise me."
He cupped her cheek, looking directly into her eyes. "I'll be back. We'll go flying. I promise."
Thank you for the locked door
. And that amazing kiss between them. WAFFy, full of all the angst of what is to come.
Loved it, Sue. Amazing!
Laura
