Do I believe in romantic love? Yes and No. No, in the sense of what you see in the movies, in particular Sleepless in Seattle. No, because romatic love takes lots of hard work and most people are just to damn lazy to put the work in. So even if 2 people are lucky enough to find each other generally one if not both are too lazy op out for divorce.

Yes, in that I know what it is based on. I remember when I was a teenager talking to my mother about love and marriage. My mother said to first not worry about the lust and sex. That sometimes it starts out hot, and sometimes slow and cool and just sneeks up on you. In either case there are things to examine at different stages in the relationship, but all must be asked before one takes the step into marriage.

If you start with the lust phase and animal attraction is there on meeting realize with time this will fade or can be killed. That if it isn't there right away don't dispare because in time it can ignite. So ignoring the sexual part do you:

1. Like the person as in friendship. Do you have common interest and views.
2. If you don't have many common interests or views can you accept theirs and give them the space to have them or enjoy them.
3. When you aren't with them do you miss their COMPANY (not Sex) just their being there because something pops into your head you want to share.
4. Do you RESPECT THEM - as the whole person they are. How they treat people, what they are like when they've had to much to drink, the way they treat you, the way they handle their job and their view on having and raising children etc. How do you feel about the whole person because no matter how much lust a lack of respect will kill it. The lust can blind you to how you really feel about the person they are.
5. If your maybe mate were in an accident and would be disabled in some way for the rest of their life can you say it doesn't matter and marry them anyway.

My mother felt if you couldn't say a loud, hearty YES to these 5 points then you weren't in love just lust.

I realized at the time she was telling me this that it was something she learned after she was married. My father was good a good looking college educated man, my mother was at least 25 from a small town where few went to college, and her girlfriends convinced her that it was nerves and that my dad was a good catch. Well it wasn't nerves looking back at their marriage, and my dad was most definitely not a good catch. I realized that I never knew my parents when they were in love and that my mother had no respect for my father. So like Lois I was scarred by their marriage, so I chose not to marry. Have I experience rommantic love. No, but I didn't want it even though there was a man I could have had it with.

Be careful of wanting it to much. I had a friend when I was in my 20's that wanted it. When she was 25 she was getting ready to be married for the third time. I ended our friendship over it. She was too high maintenance in the friendship department because of this need. We had met through a part-time job and a mutual friend had asked me why I thought she was getting married again and so soon. I said because she is in love with being in love - the whole romance of it. From the stories she would tell of her relationships you could tell that she takes that glow you can get when you meet someone that gives you that spark reads it as love. She'd jump into marriage but when the work started she was out of there. She wanted the romance, not the day to day being married - housework, in-laws, fights.