I do believe in romantic love. However, I don't believe in romantic love like you see on TV. (It's like that line in
Sleepless in Seattle: "You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.") Love can certainly have some movie-like aspects, but not all of the time. Realizing that isn't settling, it's growing up.
This is what I told another friend when she asked me a similar question:
I am no expert on love, but here are a few things I have come to understand in the last few years: Love doesn't strike, it grows. Don't underestimate the qualities of loyalty and humor. Sometimes instead of "knowing", it's more a matter of "deciding". And love isn't perfect - there will be days or even weeks in which you want nothing more than to hit your true love over the head with a cast iron skillet.
I have had a couple of love affairs like you see in fiction, but when the fire burned down there was nothing left. On the other hand, my relationship with my husband was never an inferno, but it was and is a warm steady glow, and I have come to value that a lot more. Sometimes movies and fanfiction make me a little wistful, but then he will make me laugh or caress my hair or give me bath when I am sick, and I realize that I wouldn't trade that for any number of soul shattering kisses. It's possible there is a man out there who could have given me both, but I really don't believe it and I don't regret not waiting for it.Find a guy with whom you share an attraction, by all means. But also find a guy who respects you, an a guy who will share in decisions with you (and I mean all decisions, ranging from financial to family to medical to vacations to what movie to watch on Friday night), a guy who will hold back your hair when you vomit and won't flinch when some lands on his shoes, a guy who will laugh with you, a guy who will put his life on the line to protect you and your family, a guy who will be there in the morning no matter how bad you two are fighting, a guy who, when he says "forever", you believe him, deep in your gut, because you know his character and because you've already asked him all the important questions. (Yes, all this can be found in one man, I promise!
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That is love. If you have all that, trust me, romance will follow. Not everyday, but often enough. And that will be the guy that makes you happy for 50 years, and eventually your grandchildren will be saying, "My grandparents were soulmates."
