MrsMxyzptlk and I have somewhat similar circumstances. I personally have a different view on relationships because of how I was raised, and because of my religion. I see it as a good thing, mostly, except for the part about a simple date suddenly becoming a stress because it's not just a fling, it could be a serious relationship (i.e. marriage).
For the most part, though, the way I go about relationships is simple. While I'm quite confident and outgoing among friends, I am incredibly shy around guys. I believe in the whole friends-first thing, just because I can't see having a relationship with someone who I can't be friends with (though I've had a couple of different guys in the past complain about feeling like they're in the so-called "Friend-zone" which I think is laughable). Currently, I am not seeing anyone, as I've recently gone through some crazy times and needed to focus on myself for a while, but there is this one guy...
We're sort of dancing around just being friends right now. (Have I ever mentioned how much I relate to Lois? Too many similarities for my liking actually. Except the Superman thing...)
I can tell you about how most my friends approach relationships, because being a single 20 year old in the dating world sucks. :p I've got 3(?) friends getting married right now. One I've known my whole life and she ran off with him to Montana which is totally out of character, but she's known him for years now and they've always been getting into trouble together. One I don't really know that well, but I know the groom's side of the family well, and they've always been crazy impulsive, sneaking off and going on formal dates. And the other girl and I used to be best friends but we're certainly not anymore, so I learned about her engagement second hand (and OMG totally a bad fit but whatever).
Ranting aside, there's no real rules or customs for dating. I think what you described as apart of your customs applies anywhere. Sometimes it's looser here (lots of hookups and just little flings) and there's not a lot of pressure, and sometimes there's more. It's really a personal matter, I think. Kiss timing, as usual, always abides by the rule of "when the moment's right." Anytime when it's not, well, it's just not. And anything beyond that... well, that's a personal choice too. I guess it's all really open here. Some people are kind of on again/off again. I had a friend who I thought was dating someone (because they _were_) but then she denied it and they fell out of it, but now they're officially together again and who knows. All's fair.
Not to say there isn't pressure. Because there is sometimes. I don't know. I guess there's no real set rules is all I'm trying to get across. (BTW, I'll keep you posted if anything progresses on my front with my shy guy. It'll be interesting to say the least. )
Playing it
- Mouse
