I know I'm a month late on this post but I thought I would add my 2 cents. I always thought he should have told her in the eyes have it. After that first night when it was looking like it wasn't temporary he should have come clean. It's not like he was going to be able to stay at Lois's apartment permanently dressed as superman trashing her apartment. She deserved to know who she was really helping.
Now to TOGOM, I don't think it was the right time. I'm not convinced that she would have been overjoyed at his not being dead. She was already hurting and the truth would have added to that hurt. I do wonder though if anyone has written a story on what they would have done if Lois was already in on the secret when he got shot. How would Lois react and would she be able to act appropriately to all of their friends who thought he was dead?
