Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related Big question: would anyone be delighted if I did a genderbend version of Clois?

Thanks! That's what I keep hearing around these parts!!! Can't wait to take a crack at it. By the way, Claire will not, I repeat, will not be wearing a wig when she changes from Claire to Superwoman.

Here's a snippet, from my own remake of the beginning of the episode "And The Answer Is..." Enjoy!!!:

I walk up to the door of your apartment and knock.

I didn't need superhearing to hear you holler, "Hold on!", from your bathroom.

I x-ray through the door, and see you shaving, with only a towel around your buff waist.

You check yourself in the mirror, wipe your chin clean, stealthily tiptoe to the door unlock it, then scurry back into the bathroom, leaving the door open, as I walk in uneasily.

"Louis?"

"I'll be out in a minute. You're a little early."

"I know... It's just-There's something I want to talk to you about-"

I hear the hair dryer kick on, as you say, "I can't hear you! Hold on, I'll be out in a minute."

I take my time, walking around your living room, picking up a photo with us at The Kerths, my fingers gently tracing your tuxedo-clad outline, in the photo.

It isn't easy to say what I'm about to say to you, Louis, and I'm, actually, feeling uneasy about your reaction to it.


"Hey, where are we going for breakfast?" You ask from the bathroom, whose door is ajar, now.

"I thought we'd try Callards." I say, absently, my baby blue eyes lingering on your happy brown ones, in the photo.

"Great, Rao...Why does this have to be so difficult for me?" I murmur to myself.

"What?! I can't hear you!" You say. Your voice inflicting an octave. An exact octave.

I smile, shake my head, and put the photo down.

The memories of your first sighting of me, as Superwoman, flood through me.

Saving you from a military rocket, that managed to pop out a missile, plunging to earth, wasn't easy enough.

I still remember your facial reaction of me when I first saved you, Louis. It was a mixture of surprise, thankfulness, and amazement, which was written all over your face, during my arrival.

When you, somehow, managed to climb onto a military rocket, it took guts to do that, Louis. To bring me out in the open like that, as I, still hovering in midair, was flying after you, during your "unexpected" trajectory, was one I'll never forget, Louis.

The same goes for your reaction, after I had peeled you off it, and placed you on that rooftop, as a shocked look came across your face, was another one that I'll never forget, Louis.

So was trying to hide my secret from Trask, lie detector or not.

Flying after the missile, not rocket, was another story.

It was easy to do your first interview, Louis, and, come to think of it, I can't help but feel... vulnerable. Human, around you[; worried about your reaction to this, one of the biggest scoops of your career.

So why do it, Claire? Why keep it a secret after all these years, when you could've told me? Why now?

The answer, itself, isn't an easy one, Louis, it never really was; To keep me from hurting inside. For my protection. To keep me from losing you.

But today's [i]different.

Today I'm going to tell you everything, Louis.[/i]

I look at the Kerths photo, again, for a minute, paused, then murmured to it, "Louis...I have something to tell you...I'm Superwoman."

That wasn't a good try.

"Louis? Have you ever noticed how much I look like Superwoman? Well, it's funny, because..."

I take off my eyeglasses, imagining what your response would be in this situation, again, and I sigh.

Truth of the matter is, Louis, I'm frustrated with myself for leaving you out in the dark, where you should've been with me, in the light.

My eyes linger towards you.

I x-ray you in bathroom, again, seeing you thread a comb through your hair, then, switching it off with a blink, back at the photo.


No. Not good either.

"Hey! Guess what? I'm Superwoman."

Nah. Third time's the charm, I guess.

I sigh, thinking this through, yet, again, "Louis, I've been eating to tell you this for a while, now...Before we go any further Into this relationship, you have to know that-"

"Claire? What are you doing?"

For the first time, I'm the one startled; I jam my eyeglasses back on, and look at you dress shirt on, tousled hair, and all.

You're at the edge of the bathroom, with a quizzical look on your face, powered hair dryer in hand, which you quickly flip off with a flick of your thumb.

"I... I've got something to tell you..."

I see you unplug the hair dryer absently, carrying it with you to the couch. Your hair, both tousled and windswept from the hair dryer, fell into folds onto your forehead.

"It's not good news, is it."

"Well, I don't know.Maybe." I murmur, softly, to you.

You look at me, concern tugging on your brow, "No, Its not. I can tell by the look on your face."

"Maybe you'd better sit down." I say, gesturing to the nearest couch cushion.

"Oh yeah. This is good news." You deadpan.

I resist the urge to glare at you, and, instead, sit next to you, calmly.

I'm nervous inside Louis, really, but, somehow, I manage to repress it, if only for a little while, at the moment.

Your eyes strike me, every time, Louis. Every. Single. Time.

I should really thank the person who said, "windows are the eyes to the soul.", because, it's so true, with you.. Your piercing gaze always says something to me, even when you don't say a word.

How calm and worried, they look, now, Louis; how calm you look.

I'm tempted to stroke your cheek, again, when you worry, like I do every time to you, as Superwoman.[/I]

My hands find their way of my pants pockets, hovering outside them, for a moment.

No, I can't. Not now.

Then, just as quickly, they fall back in.

I let out a slow, calming breath. Inwardly, I correct myself; making sure I don't use my superbreath on you by mistake.

"You know how you always complain that I run out on you, just when we're starting to talk about something important?"

"Yeah, I recall mentioning it once or twice." You lean back on the couch, arms folded.

"Well... There's a reason for that-" I paused, looking at you, "And, it has nothing to do with my fear of intimacy, or being afraid, or falling in love and things like that-"

I see you wait for a beat. A worried look registering on your face.

"Louis... I might as well say this honestly and simply..."

I take a deep breath.

It's now or never, Claire.

"I'm Super-"

Your phone rings, but you ignore it, relieving me, even if it's for just a minute.

It continues ringing, and I lean over to you and say, "Maybe you should answer that."

You sigh, annoyed at the communicational device for disturbing this conversation, but you're polite about it and nod.

You get up, and your quick stride says otherwise, but you hold that annoyance in, from years of being tough, snatching the phone from it's cradle.

"Hello?"

You pause, looking at me.

"Yes, she's here." You extend the phone to me.

"Who else knows I'm here?" I say to you, taking the phone from you.

But you don't say a word.

"Hello?"

A woman. Her voice steady and calm, replies, "We know everything about you, Ms. Kent. Or should I say... Superwoman."

I try to hide my reaction from you, turning away, towards the the wall full of your awards, as a distraction.

"I'm listening," My voice taking a hardened tone that you have never heard me in, my grip on the phone, tightened.

It's a deadly serious one, one that warrants my full attention, that you've only seen me do, as Superwoman.

The woman continues, "If you don't want the world to know your secret, go to a dumpster behind the Planet. You'll find an envelope with your name on it."

The line goes dead, and I, loosen my vice-like grip, shakily, setting the phone back into it's cradle.

"Who was it?" You ask, eyebrow perked.

"Huh? Oh...my hair dresser." I say, softly, still in shock.

"Your hair dresser?"

I know what you're thinking, Louis. It's another one of those lame "Cheese-Of-The-Month" lines that I've been so quick to adapt to, right?

[iII'm sorry, Louis, but, here's another one.[/i]

My last one, I promise; then the truth will be out, in the open, between you and me, and that's if I get to that dumpster in time.

"Yeah. I'm confirming my appointment. Look, Louis, I've really got to go." I say a little too quickly to you.

I see you furrow your brow, "Hold up. You were about to say something to me."

"I was?" I ask you, quizzically.

"Yeah. You said Louis, I'm super.'"

"Oh, right, right. I'm super-" I pause to look at my watch, for effect, then back at you,"Late for my haircut!"

I start to rise, "And I'm really sorry, but, I can't go to breakfast with you."

I see your shoulders slump, your eyes piercing at me, giving that infamous Mad Dog Lane glare, that I know all too well.

I backpedal to the door.

"But I'll see you at the office. Maybe we can have lunch, 'kay?"

You look perplexed as I open the door.

Silence fills the room, for a minute, and it just pains me to see you so... heartbroken.

I slam it shut.

I'm so sorry about this Louis, but, I had to leave you behind.

"Claire!"

]Your voice, again, haunts me, like the craving for your touch does; I know that one, all too well. It's tinged with worry. Fear. Uncertainty.

I quickly backpedal, again, then turn, running down the hallway.


I'm so sorry. So very sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise, Louis.

As soon as I get up and out of range of the building, I lower my gaze, using my super hearing and x-ray vision to see how you're holding up.

I see you, frustrated, looking at the blow dryer with a scowl on.

I'm sorry, Louis. I had to.

You pick up the blow dryer, aiming it like a gun, at the bathroom door.

"Bang."