Well, see what you think of these. Most of them are inspired by actual storylines from my Mom's favorite soap (which, I'll admit, I used to watch with her. It's funny. Neither of us was really a soap person. She started watching because she wanted a connection with my aunt, who lived halfway across the country, and I started watching because she watches. I've since given it up, but she still watches. In some strange way, it helps her nap...). Oh, and one of them is from another show entirely...
---
"No, stop! Don't marry him! That's my twin brother!"
(You can add things to this. "He's just pretending to be me!" or "We got mixed up when we both got amnesia!" or "He's just marrying you because he wants to take over my life! He's always been jealous of me for having been born two minutes earlier than him!")
---
"No, darling, I'm not dead. I was kidnapped. When I managed to escape, I was hit by a car. That knock on the head made me think I was a character from a novel I've been secretly writing. But that's all in the past. I'm okay now. We can start our new life together..."
---
"You can't marry him! He's... your brother!"
(Switched at birth, the result of a long-supressed traumatic event which has only now come to light, the result of a deep dark secret... take your pick.)
---
"No! You can't take me to jail! I didn't do it! It was Maria! I know she looks completely innocent, but you've got to believe me! She's got a split personality!"
---
"You've got to help me! My slightly unattractive sister has gone insane with jealousy! She trapped me down a well and, now that I've finally escaped, she's trying to hunt me down like an animal!"
---
"I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm not who you thought I was. I'm actually a secret agent. I was injured while deep undercover, and I forgot all about that life. Now, a vast criminal conspiracy is after me, and having to defend myself is bringing back the memories of my old life..."
---
"The horse! He remembers you! You
are my long-lost husband!"
(Or sister or childhood playmate or whatever else you can think of)
---
"No, I'm not just a stableboy. I'm your bastard half-brother, and our father, in his guilt, left me everything in his will. Now, son of the man who used to beat me without warning or seeming reason,
get out of my house!"
---
"No, my dear soon-to-be-ex-husband, the company is no longer yours. I had the board declare you insane! Now Fred is in charge!"
"That small-town hick? The man who stole my third ex-wife? I despise him! How could you?"
"He'll run this company better than you ever could! I know he will! He's my lover!"
---
"The doctor called. Remember those headaches I've been having? They're a sign of... Brazillian Spleen Retrovirus Fever! It must have been from that pet ferret we got. I have three weeks left to live..."
---
"Darling, before I go into surgery tomorrow, I need to tell you something. Manuel is my dear departed first wife's son. Two years before we were married, my arch-rival kidnapped and drugged her, and he's the result. She couldn't bear to raise him, but she loved him anyway. He knows nothing of this, but I promised on my wife's deathbed that I'd always take care of him and his adoptive parents. If I don't make it, look after them for me."
---
Or, putting together the most common elements (with a few random touches)...
"No, don't hurt him! He's not my son! He's the bastard child of my evil twin brother! We all thought he was dead, but he actually had amnesia and thought he was a poor innocent door-to-door salesman. He remembered me when the chemotherapy drugs started to affect his mind. I promised him on his deathbed that I'd raise the child as my own and never tell him of his father's shame."
---
Any of those work for you, Sara?
If not, you can also go to
imdb and look up various soap titles ("As The World Turns," "The Young and the Restless," "One Life To Live," "All My Children," "Passions," etc) and click on "memorable quotes." They have all sorts of things you can work with. For example, from the
All My Children quotes :
Mary Smythe: You can't be serious? My daughter is marrying a gigolo who's mother is a criminally insane drug trafficker.
Roger Smythe: Well, now, look on the bright side. At least she'll have a real reason to hate her mother-in-law.
Mary Smythe: Shut up Roger.
Paul
