Just a brief reply here, which I think will be my final in this thread.
It was absolutely not my intention to offend anyone, American or other nationality. This was intended to be a humorous fic, one which parodied stereotypes about Ireland. The lines attributed to Clark, which AnnieM mentions, were a part of the story which I actually checked out on IRC while I was writing: I asked Americans for suggestions of 'weird things about America' which Clark could use in dialogue. I did that precisely because I didn't want to run the risk of using anything which might be controversial. Now, I am aware that just because those Americans who happened to be on IRC at the time thought it was funny, that doesn't mean that all Americans have to see the funny side. The responsibility remains mine, as the author. However, I did try very hard to make this part of the story amusing rather than controversial.
Re. the kilometre/mile thing, it's true that in some parts of Europe speed limits are in km/ph. In the UK and Ireland, they're still expressed in miles per hour. All distances are expressed in miles in the UK. In Ireland, some are in kilometres and some in miles. I would forgive any tourist, from anywhere in the world, being confused by that.
As far as Lois knowing or not knowing KM is concerned, it seems to come down to whether or not it's in character for her, when she's in a bad mood, to be grumpy enough to pretend lack of understanding of something. Well, that's probably just an issue where belief is either suspended or it isn't. Edit: Having said that, I subsequently thought of a different sequence of dialogue which still indicates Lois's displeasure, but makes it clear that she does know what kilometres are. I hope that resolves Laura's concern.
The bottom line seems to be that it's not a good idea for me to try to write comedy.
Wendy
