Just so, so good.
It's no wonder that in a few short hours your comment folder is filling to overflowing, Dave. Everyone's trying to do justice to such evocative, poignant, layered writing. You don't waste words - every single word in there performs a function, sometimes several functions. Meaning upon meaning.
You get inside the head of a confused, lost and lonely soul so well. You make me feel that
I'm in that holding room with Clark, pacing the floor with him, feeling the walls closing in on us, helplessly searching for any clues as to who we are.
And this para is simply amazing, vivid in its intensity and truth:
Every time he closed his eyes and tried to remember, all he saw was a vast darkness broken up by tiny splinters of light flashing in front of him, gone as fast as they appeared. Hurtling past him like bullets... Memories, just out of his reach. He knew if he could grab one, hold onto it... understand it... just one of the tiny specks...
We know exactly what he's remembering, but you've done this so well that it could easily just be the troubled, panicky flashes inside the mind of someone who can't remember a thing about who he is. Especially when it's followed by this:
He opened his eyes slowly and a quiet sigh escaped as he regarded the stranger in the mirror. The empty eyes that stared back haunted him.
“Who are you?” he mumbled at his reflection.
.
Then there's the Big Misunderstanding. He remembers Lois, but his fantasies are mingled with his memories in such a way that he doesn't know which is which. As Janet pointed out, he's spent years compartmentalising himself. Learning to separate out two parts of himself - some of that is still there, still instinctive, but some of the conscious effort is forgotten, and he can't separate wishful thinking from the real thing. This is a really difficult idea to pull off, but you've written inside Clark's head so well, pulled out the real events so nicely and shown them in a different context, that it
works.
Then you use the real event - Cat taking advantage of Clark's amnesia - to plant a horrible suspicion in his mind, using real memories - him in Cat's apartment, Lois's obvious resentment - and your own story - Lois awkward about holding his hand - to make this work too. So clever.
And all told with such deft skill in the writing, and such a feel for the characters, too. Lois planting an imprint on his soul.
Yes. That is exactly what she did - right from the second he met her. You really do get it.
And I'm so envious.
Wendy
