24 hours to live?
Are you sure this doesn't belong in the nFic folder?
Seriously, Wendy - this is great!
I'm still sitting on the edge of my seat.
The atmosphere in the first part was... fantastic. You *really* feel like you're getting inside Lois's sleep muddled head.
There was someone in her apartment.
Lois sat up in bed, her heart thumping. The digital clock by her bedside said 3:15 - far too early for any neighbours to be up and about.
I *love* the way you introduce the scene - with the certainty that there *is* someone there, and then Lois snapping awake.
And then this:
But she didn’t hear any footsteps. Had she just imagined that there was someone? Maybe she’d just dreamed it...
It's almost like waking up from a dream and not knowing if that giant spider on the blanket was real or not. You get the impression so clearly - it's fantastic. *My* heart was thumping right along with Lois's.
There’d been a series of rapes in this part of the city in the last few months.
Why do I get the feeling that's going to be important? <g>
And *this*:
A figure loomed menacingly over her. Terrified, she tried to shrink away. She was going to be raped!
I'd actually forgotten that I've seen some of this and knew she wasn't!
Amazing writing.
She needed... to...
...fight...
...attack...
Focus!
And... I *love* that. The effect. Blurry. blurry. blurry... and then bang. Snaps back into focus. I'm sure you don't need to be told, but it's brilliant!
And then he spoke. His voice came from a long way away, echoing down a tunnel. Slow, distorted.
I don't think I need to say it again, but I will... brilliant! It's *very* effective. You can almost imagine...
Had it really happened? Or just a nightmare? But... hard surface below her. On the floor. Aching all over. Throat burning. Someone was here! Help. The phone. Had to... get... to the phone.
I love that... the flow of thoughts. The groggy realisation. I wonder if time had passed between him leaving and her thoughts.
Because I've got to write that blasted essay I'm going to have to fly through Clark's POV.
Clark or Superman?
The distinction didn’t matter tonight.
I think I've said 'I *love* that' so many times already, but... dammit. I *do* love that. How when it comes down to it... when Lois needs him... it doesn't matter. His secret. His identity. Nothing matters as much as she does. And that's... amazing. How you can say that, more strongly than simply saying it, in only two lines... it's amazing.
He crashed through the glass and in less than a second was crouched on the floor beside his partner.
I also have a feeling that's going to be important. How will Clark explain the broken glass? Will the police assume that's how the attacker got in and ignore the door? Were signs of forced entry (or even better, no forced entry) ignored?
/me flies through... damn essay...
That made 99 since he’d taken up vigil in this hard moulded-plastic chair. It now declared the time to be 5:37. One more minute for the round century.
I love that - a minute 'til the round century. And thanks for the time update. <g>
Because he was stuck outside on this damned uncomfortable chair, watching a clock slowly count the minutes and the hours while he was just told to wait?
I really like the emphasis on the chair. It's very realistic - the way someone takes their frustration (about not being able to do anything) out on their environment. Fantastic little detail. Makes everything more... real.
He should have flown her to the hospital himself. Stupid to be so concerned about preserving a crime scene when Lois could be dying!
Yes, Clark! Very stupid. But... I've got a feeling that'll be important too. <g>
And Wendy... dear, dear Wendy... if you don't share your posting schedule I'm going to assume it's going to be a daily update. <g>
Dave
