Well done and believable from beginning to end. You've made a smooth transition with the switch.
I love the Martha / Clara bonding, and kind of felt bad for Jonathan being left out (then again, he was left out during the Clark / Martha suit making session too).
Just like his sister… Well of course! He should have seen it before. That’s all that was between him and Clara. She reminded him of Lucy.
You keep telling yourself that, Louis. Just don't mention it to Clara. She's liable to believe you.
So, Jimmy has designs on the new reporter. I'd think, he'd be too uncomfortable hitting on someone above him on the DP hierarchy. We know Jimmy would hit on Cat in canon, but only because he knew it would never develop into anything.
The whole dinner scene is quite sad from beginning to end. Although this line:
Some deeply buried caveman part of Louis made sounds like a contented grizzly bear. Woman pretty. Woman clean cave. Woman cook good. Good woman. Keep woman.
was quite funny.
That neither Lucy nor Louis ever had a sit down meal with their parents, nor had to set the table, was all too heart-wrenching. Adding Clara to the mix, suddenly made these misfits into a family. Awwwwwwwwwww.
I liked this scene rewrite as well:
“Good going, Farm Girl. Please tell me you actually did call the police,” Lou was snarking when Clara tuned back in. Baines and her goons were gone.
“Would it make you feel better if I lied to you?” Clara snapped grumpily. She was already beating herself up enough, she didn’t need Lou on her case too.
“Yes. Yes, it would.”
Lou’s deadpan tone almost made Clara smile. Almost.
“Then yes, I really did call the police. They’re sending a SWAT team.”
“Great.”
Louis wants Clara to lie to him despite knowing the truth and not believing the lie.
Here he's trying to tell Clara that he still doesn't want a committed relationship, even though he's talking about his past:
“Claudia was… this bright light. Beautiful, with this cute accent. I wanted her. What can I say? I’m a man. But I never wanted more than that. I never wanted a relationship. I’d just started my career, I knew I’d be out at all hours chasing leads, and probably rude and distracted when I was home. That wasn’t the kind of life to offer someone.
“No, it’s not,” Clara calmly refuted. “Or not just your fault. Maybe you broke her heart and were a little insensitive, but you didn’t mean to. Even if you did, she’d misled you about her feelings. And it doesn’t justify her taking your story.”
I don't think Louis broke Claudia's heart, but she sure broke his trust.
“Lou, there’s a rusty link in my side of the chain. If we pull hard enough, it might break.”
“Okay,” Lou said, sounding more like his commanding self. “Okay. On three. One, two – ”
They pulled. The link Clara had spent their conversation weakening gave way, the ends convincingly fragmented.
This is a bit more believable than what happened in canon. It makes sense that as a woman she's helping Louis think that he "helped" free them, even though he didn't.
Clara waited for Lou to pass her, falling into step behind him so that she could protect him and Jimmy from the worst of the blast. Lou didn’t have the breath to argue. He was a muscular guy, but he was carrying a hundred and eighty pounds of dead weight at a run.
Nah. I doubt Jimmy weighed more than 125 lbs.
Clara looked in the direction of the voice and saw Jimmy and Lou lying in the puddle together like they were lovers, Jimmy giving Lou a wary look. Clara couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing.
That just seemed to make Jimmy more nervous.
“Is there a reason I can’t remember how I wound up laying in a puddle under Louis?”
“It’s simple, Jimmy,” Clara explained. “Lou saved your life.”
“Oh.” Jimmy sounded dazed. “My hero.”
So much for asking Clara out.
