Yay! You finally posted this! After your preview in your interview... I was becoming anxious for another long story! Glad to see this up! I read it on my phone at two am last night when my car broke down in the middle of a *very* bad neighborhood in Sacramento on my drive home from school... :rolleyes:
So your story was a nice break from an otherwise scary and terrible night. /sighs/
Couple of points I enjoyed (while running on my limited brain power from little sleep):
The attack came without warning [...]
"End simulation."
Phew. I was really concerned for a minute there. And I kind of expected it to be Nor.
reached down to help his older brother, Ching, from the thick black mats that lined the floor
Ching! Perfect! If Kal were to have a brother, I think that'd be great. That eliminates the Zara issue too, right?
Kal turned to his younger half-brother, Jai, and helped him to his feet as well.
Didn't connect this to Jimmy until reading other comments.
Great!
"Good. You know you can talk to me any time, day or night. My door is always open." He paused. "Except for tonight. I've got Nita coming tonight."
Kal shook his head. "Another concubine? Jai..."
"Hey," Jai said, a little defensively, "just because you and Ching choose not to partake of the professional care services, doesn't mean that I have to follow suit."
Aha! Hahahaha!!! Oh, my! That's just great! I can totally see Jimmy doing and saying just that! Brava!
"Kal, do you remember when you were very young, and Ching came down with a case of the Red Fever?"
Kal shook his head. "I've heard stories of that time, but I don't have any memory of it. My professors used to say only that it was one of the worst epidemics ever to sweep across this planet. Hundreds of thousands died. Millions were infected before Dr. Lyne found a way to treat and cure the disease."
Lyne? Like Lane? And like the use of the red fever.
Kal's brow crinkled in confusion. "And what is it that you owe him?"
"You."
Kal choked as he swallowed a sip of the exquisite wine. "Me?"
/chokes on water/ "Him?!" (
JK. Kind of saw that coming with the little sneak peek you gave me.)
Lois," Kal said, trying the name out. It came out sounding more like a death knell than a name.
It will be one if he doesn't straighten out soon. She'll knock some sense into him.
When will this happen? Or am I to guess at that as well?"
"In two weeks' time."
Quick turn around time. Shotgun wedding, anybody?
Really liked this story- can't wait for more!
